Feeling desperate .....

autumn oddity

autumn oddity

-Im really hoping all who read.. will read w/o judgement..or atleast not so much judgement-

Okay @ 23..Ive never had a real boyfriend...

being at school, seeing my friends with their girlfriends.. talk about treating them out
really stings... I hate being the single friend..it makes me feel like....I'll always be nothing more than a friend..never more...
(Like I know Im worth more... but being single this long and seeing every1 else in relationships
Also my friend is in a similar situation...
she lives on dorm ..and her friends have bfs yadda and she feels the same way i do... and confided in me about
how shes going to met up w some guy and... you know the rest..


im trying to talk her out of it...telling her that she's worth more..but feel hypocritical..
bc i feel the exact same way..and if I had the opportunity would most like do the same...

Its just hard..I feel I can see myself in my 2 friends her and the other one who was suicidal..its crazy

But sometimes..I really feel Im waiting for nothing...im trying to hold out for a special guy..but
it seems I'll never meet him..so.........

what's the use.
 
Yea, that sucks. But in the end, their hearts get broken and they come crying to you for help. Happens all the time. Im in my thirties, and I cant count all the times that I heard those that rushed into things now deeply regret it.

You special, Jesus loves you and would never hurt you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Hold on to that promise.
 
It can be very frustrating. I was very shy and nerdy in my youth, took me a decade or so to get over that, so I started late.
I finally gave up on trying on my own and told God "find me a wife or a monastery, either will do". I was married 1 1/2 years later.
You need to be patient and everything will work itself out in time.
One of my coworkers was quite the tomboy, and was looking 35 in the face and still without a steady bo or any husband prospects.
She went to a friends place for a party, met a guy, married a year later, and now have 1 child (may be more on the way I haven't talked to her in a year or so).
 
Glomung said:
It can be very frustrating. I was very shy and nerdy in my youth, took me a decade or so to get over that, so I started late.
I finally gave up on trying on my own and told God "find me a wife or a monastery, either will do". I was married 1 1/2 years later.
You need to be patient and everything will work itself out in time.
One of my coworkers was quite the tomboy, and was looking 35 in the face and still without a steady bo or any husband prospects.
She went to a friends place for a party, met a guy, married a year later, and now have 1 child (may be more on the way I haven't talked to her in a year or so).
Click to expand...


Yah..... I want to stop caring..infact I feel Im halfway there . I feel apathetic lol..

But its kinda hard for me and her both when we have to see friends w/ significant others..
she walked in on her friend and boyfriend getting busy...

But I understand what youre saying..it really happens when least expected..and I know Im supposed to have a significant other
1) I feel it personally...like I was made for someone else..you know? ^^

2) I was so introverted that I didn't mind being a nun type lol.. but my pastor and others prophesied about me having one ...

so yah...

But I also have to work on myself... it just gets so depressing at times..

but w/ my friend she's set she (drives,lives alone... is independent..all that good stuff) and still doesn't have a mate..

I don't understand.
 
pancakes said:
-Im really hoping all who read.. will read w/o judgement..or atleast not so much judgement-

Okay @ 23..Ive never had a real boyfriend...

being at school, seeing my friends with their girlfriends.. talk about treating them out
really stings... I hate being the single friend..it makes me feel like....I'll always be nothing more than a friend..never more...
(Like I know Im worth more... but being single this long and seeing every1 else in relationships
Also my friend is in a similar situation...
she lives on dorm ..and her friends have bfs yadda and she feels the same way i do... and confided in me about
how shes going to met up w some guy and... you know the rest..

im trying to talk her out of it...telling her that she's worth more..but feel hypocritical..
bc i feel the exact same way..and if I had the opportunity would most like do the same...

Its just hard..I feel I can see myself in my 2 friends her and the other one who was suicidal..its crazy

But sometimes..I really feel Im waiting for nothing...im trying to hold out for a special guy..but
it seems I'll never meet him..so.........

what's the use.
Click to expand...

My lovely daughter is 34 and still single. She has set her heart on marrying and of dating the right man, but in the meantime, she is well aware that God has all that in hand and He will deliver when it is the right time. So, she is devoted to becoming all that God desires her to be, so that the right man of God's choosing will come to her, a whole woman, and he being a whole man. After all, God is working on him, too!

Life is full for her! She is busy serving God with her whole life and in fact, I almost envy her joyous existence---living as if NOTHING is missing! She has her moments, however, but she runs to her Father, the lover of her soul for consolation, and He delivers!

Her relationships are changing and maturing, moving from the youth and young marrieds to the more established married women and older singles, and her ministry among women is to the twenty-somethings who look to her as a godly leader and example.

Commit your way to Him, and seek after His righteousness above all, and in due time, the RIGHT time, God will provide all you need and the desire of your heart.

Matthew 6:33
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
 
These are all great answers. but I would like to add, do you know how blessed you are not to have the pressure of relationship to distract you from your goals now and interrupt you from what you need to accomplish now to have a better life later. Not to mention the other pressures. A lie is still a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is still the truth, even if NO one believes. In other words, just because everyone else is doing it doesn't make it right. And actually the fact that they need someone else to valid their life is pretty sad.
 
pancakes said:
Yah..... I want to stop caring..infact I feel Im halfway there . I feel apathetic lol..

But its kinda hard for me and her both when we have to see friends w/ significant others..
she walked in on her friend and boyfriend getting busy...

But I understand what youre saying..it really happens when least expected..and I know Im supposed to have a significant other
1) I feel it personally...like I was made for someone else..you know? ^^

2) I was so introverted that I didn't mind being a nun type lol.. but my pastor and others prophesied about me having one ...

so yah...

But I also have to work on myself... it just gets so depressing at times..

but w/ my friend she's set she (drives,lives alone... is independent..all that good stuff) and still doesn't have a mate..

I don't understand.
Click to expand...

As i read your op, the Lord brought up my own experience in high school. I was really shy and did not date, and felt as if......why Lord do all these people have boy friends and such and i do not. God let me know that He was making sure that i saved myself for just the right person, (which i got ahead of God and messed that up). God knew that i was broken inside in some ways and that i would not be able to be strong enough to say no to the advances of the guys. He knew that I needed to learn how to love and be loved, without giving away my self respect, and that i had places in me that needed mending. So that like Euphemia's daughter i could be whole prior to making a life long commitment.

Be totally at peace...let God lead you to the right one, and trust Him to heal the places in you that need mending prior to giving you to someone that is healing right now also, to become whole for you. Let God be the potter and you the clay Jeremiah 18:1-2.
Blessings!
 
Ask your self this one question.
Who is more important in your life ?
You ?
Jesus?
Pick one and act on it. You can have it your way or you can trustGod and be PATIENT through the wait and He will bring you His best and you will not ever pick him your self.
Blessings
 
You must remember you need to call on God. When you are weak, He is strong
He did not give you the Spirit of fear. If God brought you to it, He will bring you through! But you must believe and trust Him. Not a man who prophesied over you. No disrespect inteneded but man can be wrong at times God isn't. You said it was prophesied over you by your Pastor, but what did God tell you. That is Who you should Be asking and listening too. Never put a question mark where God has put a period.
 
Cturtle said:
As i read your op, the Lord brought up my own experience in high school. I was really shy and did not date, and felt as if......why Lord do all these people have boy friends and such and i do not. God let me know that He was making sure that i saved myself for just the right person, (which i got ahead of God and messed that up). God knew that i was broken inside in some ways and that i would not be able to be strong enough to say no to the advances of the guys. He knew that I needed to learn how to love and be loved, without giving away my self respect, and that i had places in me that needed mending. So that like Euphemia's daughter i could be whole prior to making a life long commitment.

Be totally at peace...let God lead you to the right one, and trust Him to heal the places in you that need mending prior to giving you to someone that is healing right now also, to become whole for you. Let God be the potter and you the clay Jeremiah 18:1-2.
Blessings!
Click to expand...

Yah I know Im fragile, broken and messed up.....I know I need to,like you said, lean to love and be loved ....

Yet I feel I will never be "mended"...... I feel alone, Idk why God won't fix me..or atleast tell me what to do so I can do the inside wok and fix mysellf..you know?

but I love your storry..it comforts me ^^

But I really don't want to wait till Im 34 ..or 45 to have my very first date e.e
 
Spiritfilled said:
You must remember you need to call on God. When you are weak, He is strong
He did not give you the Spirit of fear. If God brought you to it, He will bring you through! But you must believe and trust Him. Not a man who prophesied over you. No disrespect inteneded but man can be wrong at times God isn't. You said it was prophesied over you by your Pastor, but what did God tell you. That is Who you should Be asking and listening too. Never put a question mark where God has put a period.
Click to expand...


God speaks thru his prophets,preachers and the like. (3 times that was said to me by people of God : / soooo ,..and tbh..as much as Id love to be married... if God wanted me to be a a nun or celibate .... Id be okay I guess..well not really..id just be used to it since Ive been single and alone so long. )

and as I stated in an earlier thread.... other people and outside forces is usually how God communicates w/ me.
 
Fish Catcher Jim said:
Ask your self this one question.
Who is more important in your life ?
You ?
Jesus?
Pick one and act on it. You can have it your way or you can trust God and be PATIENT through the wait and He will bring you His best and you will not ever pick him your self.
Blessings
Click to expand...

Yah I know God would give e his best..but I have to get myself together..
Because I know God would bring me such a quality man... I feel,I myself ..can't be anything less than my best..

shoot, my friends... I didn't even pick really, except for one, and they're so amazing, gentle, funny, just have beautiful qualities..
so I could only imagine how my guy would be ....


I just need to get me together bc I know He'll be amazing..and I want to give him my best
 
pancakes said:
Yah I know Im fragile, broken and messed up.....I know I need to,like you said, lean to love and be loved ....

Yet I feel I will never be "mended"...... I feel alone, Idk why God won't fix me..or atleast tell me what to do so I can do the inside wok and fix mysellf..you know?

but I love your storry..it comforts me ^^

But I really don't want to wait till Im 34 ..or 45 to have my very first date e.e
Click to expand...

We cannot fix ourselves. Only God can do it, as we yield to His hand. When we realize the truth of this, we can relax and let Him lead us, and stop all the navel-gazing that is harmful, in that it causes us to look at ourselves, rather than behold Jesus. It's that kind of second-guessing and over-indulgence in introspection that caused Peter to sink beneath the waves.
 
Yet I feel I will never be "mended"...... I feel alone, Idk why God won't fix me..or atleast tell me what to do so I can do the inside wok and fix mysellf..you know?

Yes i really do! For 20+ years, i cried out to the Lord to "fix" me....to help me to become a whole complete confident woman. And as much as i believe that He tried to help me to see how to become whole, i could not see it because i was trying to "fix" it on my own.

I needed to know what it meant to be loved by the Father. Yet i didn't even know how to receive it. Because as i was growing up, my own dad (i know he tried his best) did not know how to show me or my brother love, because he never knew what real love meant either, until later on in my life.

At 43 years of age and coming to the end of myself, i watched the movie "the gospel according to John," God used the woman who was caught in the act of adultery to finally realize, that He did not hold any of my sins against me. But you can bet i up until that point did.

So if you can get a little juice, and a cracker or bite of bread, and sit alone (just you and the Father), and begin to thank Him for all He has done for you, and commit yourself to spend quality time with Him everyday. And most importantly, learn how to accept His Love and Grace for you....and what it means. I promise you that you will not be 35 before your first date. :)

Until we can accept the Love of God, His grace and what it means to abide in Him, or be really super close to Him. Knowing how to trust Him, and totally rely on Him, we are our own enemy. The devil is lying to you...trying to get you to believe that "you will never be mended" and until you turn that around, your stuck. If you will find all of the scriptures that tell you that you are complete in Christ Jesus, and that you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, and read them out loud to yourself everyday (many times if you need to) you WILL (with the Help of the burden removing, yolk destroying anointing) turn those lies into a harvest of God's love for you. And a harvest of the joy and strength of the Lord.

Even Jesus said.....i can do nothing apart from the Father. ........... It is the Father who dwells within me who does the work.........i only say what the Father says, and do what the Father tells me to do bueno?

blessings sister! God is right there carrying you!
 
I'll let you all into a little secret....I have no friends: no one who I can call to speak to, or go out with etc.
I made many mistakes when I was young which pushed my friends away; I now have none.
 
pancakes said:
-Im really hoping all who read.. will read w/o judgement..or atleast not so much judgement-

Okay @ 23..Ive never had a real boyfriend...

being at school, seeing my friends with their girlfriends.. talk about treating them out
really stings... I hate being the single friend..it makes me feel like....I'll always be nothing more than a friend..never more...
(Like I know Im worth more... but being single this long and seeing every1 else in relationships
Also my friend is in a similar situation...
she lives on dorm ..and her friends have bfs yadda and she feels the same way i do... and confided in me about
how shes going to met up w some guy and... you know the rest..


im trying to talk her out of it...telling her that she's worth more..but feel hypocritical..
bc i feel the exact same way..and if I had the opportunity would most like do the same...

Its just hard..I feel I can see myself in my 2 friends her and the other one who was suicidal..its crazy

But sometimes..I really feel Im waiting for nothing...im trying to hold out for a special guy..but
it seems I'll never meet him..so.........

what's the use.
Click to expand...

and


finally:

 
Cturtle said:
Yet I feel I will never be "mended"...... I feel alone, Idk why God won't fix me..or atleast tell me what to do so I can do the inside wok and fix mysellf..you know?

Yes i really do! For 20+ years, i cried out to the Lord to "fix" me....to help me to become a whole complete confident woman. And as much as i believe that He tried to help me to see how to become whole, i could not see it because i was trying to "fix" it on my own.

I needed to know what it meant to be loved by the Father. Yet i didn't even know how to receive it. Because as i was growing up, my own dad (i know he tried his best) did not know how to show me or my brother love, because he never knew what real love meant either, until later on in my life.

At 43 years of age and coming to the end of myself, i watched the movie "the gospel according to John," God used the woman who was caught in the act of adultery to finally realize, that He did not hold any of my sins against me. But you can bet i up until that point did.

So if you can get a little juice, and a cracker or bite of bread, and sit alone (just you and the Father), and begin to thank Him for all He has done for you, and commit yourself to spend quality time with Him everyday. And most importantly, learn how to accept His Love and Grace for you....and what it means. I promise you that you will not be 35 before your first date. :)

Until we can accept the Love of God, His grace and what it means to abide in Him, or be really super close to Him. Knowing how to trust Him, and totally rely on Him, we are our own enemy. The devil is lying to you...trying to get you to believe that "you will never be mended" and until you turn that around, your stuck. If you will find all of the scriptures that tell you that you are complete in Christ Jesus, and that you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, and read them out loud to yourself everyday (many times if you need to) you WILL (with the Help of the burden removing, yolk destroying anointing) turn those lies into a harvest of God's love for you. And a harvest of the joy and strength of the Lord.

Even Jesus said.....i can do nothing apart from the Father. ........... It is the Father who dwells within me who does the work.........i only say what the Father says, and do what the Father tells me to do bueno?

blessings sister! God is right there carrying you!
Click to expand...


Interesting. My dad is the same way.... he was abusive or anything.. he just didn't know how to love ..like at 23 years old he's never gotten me or my brothers a birthday gift....
I remeber when he used to say horrible things to us (not trying to bring up the past..just giving an example... I love my dad now)

Idk, and I think I told you all I went through w/ my previous pastor ..right? it was you I inboxed I think?

anywho that alone sorta has me fearful to get close.
 
pancakes said:
Interesting. My dad is the same way.... he was abusive or anything.. he just didn't know how to love ..like at 23 years old he's never gotten me or my brothers a birthday gift....
I remeber when he used to say horrible things to us (not trying to bring up the past..just giving an example... I love my dad now)

Idk, and I think I told you all I went through w/ my previous pastor ..right? it was you I inboxed I think?

anywho that alone sorta has me fearful to get close.
Click to expand...

Yes i was the one that you inboxed. And yes i do understand how you feel. The one that is the most important to grow close with is God. He is the only one that can fix all of our broken places. And as you grow with the Lord and those insecurities are healed and fixed, then you will find the ones whom to grow closer with, so be at peace knowing that He is not making you do something that you don't want to do. God is so loving that He knows how to help us to grow at our pace, or a pace that is not going to cause us to panic or feel as if the floor is going to be ripped out from under us.

I have reached a place in my life where the most important thing is my relationship with God and to obey, Him in every way possible. I have been through that place where i felt as if the very floor was not there. Meaning that i felt as if i didn't have any sure footing. And there are days where the devil tries to convince me that i am not loveable, i am gross, or whatever..... and about a week ago it tripped me up, for three days, but as soon as i got my thinking straightened out (by spending time in the Word, and with God) then God helped me to get passed it.

So as you grow, you will get stronger. And He will teach you what it feels like for Him to love you. His teaching is gentle and peaceful. I am really glad that you can love your dad, and forgive him of his mistakes. I am positive he is doing the best that he knows how. And as you hang onto God, trust that He will direct you to where to place your trust.

Blessings!
 
Fish_of_Faith said:
I'll let you all into a little secret....I have no friends: no one who I can call to speak to, or go out with etc.
I made many mistakes when I was young which pushed my friends away; I now have none.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you totally rely on the Lord for everything! May He richly bless you fish of faith! And thank you for sharing!
 
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