For all the grandmas
Myyoung grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he
asked, "Did you start at 1?"
*******************************************************
After putting her grandchildren to bed,
a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse
and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children
getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her
head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed
with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the
three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
*******************************************************
A grandmother was telling her little
granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to
skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We
picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking
this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to
know you sooner!"
*******************************************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he
asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I
mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we
alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
*******************************************************
&nbs p; A little girl was diligently pounding
away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she
was writing a story.
"What's it a bout?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't
read."
*******************************************************
She was in the bathroom, putting on her
makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter
as she 'd done many times before. After she applied her
lipstick and started to leave, the little one said,
"But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
*******************************************************
I didn't know if my granddaughter had
learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would
point out something and ask what color it was. She would
tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
continued.
At last she headed for the door, saying
sagely,
"Grandma, I think you should try to
figure out some of these yourself!"
*******************************************************
When my grandson Billy and I entered our
vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside
to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few
fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered,
"It's no use, Grand pa. The mosquitoes
are coming after us with
flashlights."
*******************************************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was,
I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he
advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."
*****
**************************************************
A second grader came home from school
and said to her gran dmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to
make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she
said, "how do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You
just change 'y' to 'i' and add
'es.' "
******************** ***********************************
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence
about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came
down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to
correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked.
"Sure," said the young boy con-
fidently. "It means carrying a child."
*******************************************************
A nursery school teacher was delivering
a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck
zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a
Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said
one child.
"No," said another, "h e's just for good
luck."
A third child brought the argument to a
close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the
fire hydrants."
Myyoung grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he
asked, "Did you start at 1?"
*******************************************************
After putting her grandchildren to bed,
a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse
and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children
getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her
head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed
with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the
three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
*******************************************************
A grandmother was telling her little
granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to
skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We
picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking
this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to
know you sooner!"
*******************************************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he
asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I
mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we
alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
*******************************************************
&nbs p; A little girl was diligently pounding
away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she
was writing a story.
"What's it a bout?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't
read."
*******************************************************
She was in the bathroom, putting on her
makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter
as she 'd done many times before. After she applied her
lipstick and started to leave, the little one said,
"But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
*******************************************************
I didn't know if my granddaughter had
learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would
point out something and ask what color it was. She would
tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
continued.
At last she headed for the door, saying
sagely,
"Grandma, I think you should try to
figure out some of these yourself!"
*******************************************************
When my grandson Billy and I entered our
vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside
to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few
fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered,
"It's no use, Grand pa. The mosquitoes
are coming after us with
flashlights."
*******************************************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was,
I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he
advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."
*****
**************************************************
A second grader came home from school
and said to her gran dmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to
make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she
said, "how do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You
just change 'y' to 'i' and add
'es.' "
******************** ***********************************
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence
about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came
down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to
correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked.
"Sure," said the young boy con-
fidently. "It means carrying a child."
*******************************************************
A nursery school teacher was delivering
a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck
zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a
Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said
one child.
"No," said another, "h e's just for good
luck."
A third child brought the argument to a
close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the
fire hydrants."
