boyfriend ---
boyfriend, such a cool word, not funny or unusual, but somehow connected to any teenage girl’s sardoodledom.
Boyfriend -- a temporary male companion, a dance partner at a school dance, a boy with whom I will go and with whom I will leave when I attend a dance, a concert, a party, a ballgame, or other social function. For the duration of the event, I will blow on his and no other boy’s dice. With him, I will hold hands, hug, dance, kiss, and I will learn about boys, and I hope he will learn about girls.
--- Definition from Ghid’s Mom’s Book of Smart
For years now, I have been paranoid about not having a boyfriend.
In seventh grade I hatched a plan. I asked a teacher, Mr Hatch, if I could eat lunch in his classroom. I didn’t lie, but that was not the whole truth. I had other reasons to eat lunch in a classroom instead of the cafeteria. I wanted a safe place where boys could notice me and feel safe about being my friend. I wanted a place where I and like-minded students could study. Maybe the most important reason, I loved a boy in the sixth grade. He loved his video games more. I have gotten over that.
When I asked Mom for help, I called it a study group. She has donated food like pizza and submarine sandwiches, and she asked other parents to support the group.
Anyone may join the group. We ask only that they not text and that they not play video games while attending the group. Mr Hatch enforces that rule, and I need not be the bad guy. As I matriculated to high school, so did he, and he is still the group’s advisor.
The group has worked well. Every girl who wants a date (escort?) gets one. Everybody who needs a tutor gets more than one. We study together. We make stacks of index cards. We study with random repetition. We try to prioritize. For example, Toussaint Louverture (cool picture in Wikipedia), which is more important, he was a literate slave, or he kicked the French out of Haiti? Or about José Maria Morelos, he kicked the Spanish out of Mexico, or he came on deck when Frank said, “José can you see?” We ask questions like, “Who was president during the Civil War, Benito Juarez, Abraham Lincoln, or Jefferson Davis?” How many stars are on the Star Spangled Banner, 15, 18, or 50? What is the last line of the National Anthem, “Gentlemen start your engines,” or “Play ball.” How many articles are on the Bill of Rights? When does a police officer use his or her weapon during a misdemeanor arrest?
And best of all, I have a boyfriend, Super J, whom I hope I will be a BFF.
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