Greetings (I tend to ramble)

Greetings (I tend to ramble)

Hi, my name is Dan. I am 25 years old I live in pennsylvania. I accepted Christ as my savior at the age 4. I am not totally sure of the date, but I do remember praying the sinners prayer and understanding that I was a sinner in need of Christ. I think at this point in my life I consider myself a back slider. I can feel the two natures constantly fighting in myself. As a child I grew up in a christian home, my father led me to Christ, I was involved in the Awana program from the age of 9 until I was about 14 or so. I just feel lately that my spiritual life is in a big slump. I left the church I went to since I was a kid because of doctrine issues, they are running it based on marketing schemes for big business instead of adhering to the direction of the Holy Spirit. This has caused me to be very pessimistic in the last 2 years. I am currently going to a small baptist church in my town. The pastor preaches the word of God without watering it down but everyone in the church seems kind of stiff. I just feel like I doubt a lot anymore, it seems like I want to look down on every preacher because of the last church I attended. The pastor got rid of the whole board at one time and put his own cronies in that he could basically control from what I see. This was over a period of about 5 years that things just didn't seem right. They changed the description of programs to sound professional and it just didn't seem normal. Sunday school is now community life group. Things like this go down the list. Instead of a pastor the new title was life coach and things like this. This just turned me off to a lot o things within the church. The last few years were very rough, my sister got addicted to drugs my parents were having a lot of issues. I ended up drinking away a whole year of my life, I screwed up my studies in college, and lost a good job in the process. I felt just helpless at one point like everything caved in. I even started going to strip clubs now and then, I have had a weakness with pornography. I am pure physically but not mentally. In the last few months I seem to be on the rebound and I haven't touched alcohol since before last Christmas. I still feel like there is a double mindedness in me like it talks about in James 1:8. I am being pulled two ways, God tells me a truth and then I have the flesh pulling me in the other direction and I end up doubting. I do feel unstable like I am just floating along with no direction right now. Maybe someone here can give me some insight.
Sometimes I doubt my salvation but I know there is a war raging in me if there wasn't I don't believe I would be here. I remember that when I was the age of 10 I had a larger burning fire for the word of God. I feel like I was drenched with water and the fire is almost out. I wish to relieve my younger days when I was totally intune with the word of God. Please give me some insight. I'm sorry for the lengthy post I tend to ramble.


Pastor Gary

Senior Moderator and Staff Trainer
Staff member
Senior Moderator
Staff Trainer
Welcome, Dan

Welcome, Dan and God bless. We hope that you will find some of the answers to your questions here at CFS. Feel free to 'ramble' as you see fit... there are very schollarly people here that make up the forum membership and they will help you with any questions that you might have.