I’ve got four satnav’s…
(Changed names to avoid earache!)
Got to drop our Mary
To a house in the middle of nowhere,
Wales, Five pm.
November, dark early
Raining , streets lights at a premium
never been there before.
Just give me a postcode
no problem
I’ll put it into the satnav,
That, unfortunately
Is when the fun began,
The second satnav
let’s call her Gertrude
all singing all dancing
Came inbuilt, with the car
The third I’ve been married to
for more than fifty year.
Too ready with direction
Finishes my sentences,
Knows where I’m going
Even before I do!
My latest is Mary
Ten going on nineteen!
Just old enough to sit in the front seat
And following grandma’s example
Likes to put her ‘two penny’s worth* in too
No it’s LL you missed the second “L”
Was the overture advice,
Then a discussion between satnavs three and four as to wether it’s twenty three or twenty five?
Then Gertrude, number two satnav
didn’t recognise the code,
I’m starting to loose the will to live,
At least she didn’t as me whether I I was a robot or not
Satnav’s three and four
Giving conflicting advise,
TIL finally satnavs
two, three, four all agreed
Though they’re still arguing who was right first
Satnav two gave
Advise about the distance
And how long it’s going to take,
Satnav three said, contrary to satnavs instructions
“if you stayed on the main road you could be there half the time,”
satnav four said ”grandpa! stop arguing with the satnav!
(Which one?)
Gertrude, satnav two said “ in four hundred you need to turn right ”
Satnav four chipped in “you’ve missed the turn
You’ll have to go back around”,
Satnav three not to miss out giving advise, said
“And mind those parked cars! “
I was going to say…
Perhaps not!
I wished I wore hearing aids
Then I could turn them off!
I now know how Job felt
With all his friends advise
“That’s only satnavs two three four
what about satnav one”
I hear you remark?
Well the first one,
The best one
Never let me down!
My go to every morning
And when it’s guided me
Safely home every night,
I say a prayer of thanks,
Always there to advise me
Never sending up at the garden path!
Whether deep in the valley
Or on the mountain top
No cord to tangle
No problem with loosing signal
Always up to date!
No need to recharge batteries
No need to listen to others advice
This first satnavs name?
The Lord Jesus Christ
* “pennies’ worth”. An expression is commonly used in English-speaking countries refers to an opinion or comment that someone gives, even if it may not be necessary
(Changed names to avoid earache!)
Got to drop our Mary
To a house in the middle of nowhere,
Wales, Five pm.
November, dark early
Raining , streets lights at a premium
never been there before.
Just give me a postcode
no problem
I’ll put it into the satnav,
That, unfortunately
Is when the fun began,
The second satnav
let’s call her Gertrude
all singing all dancing
Came inbuilt, with the car
The third I’ve been married to
for more than fifty year.
Too ready with direction
Finishes my sentences,
Knows where I’m going
Even before I do!
My latest is Mary
Ten going on nineteen!
Just old enough to sit in the front seat
And following grandma’s example
Likes to put her ‘two penny’s worth* in too
No it’s LL you missed the second “L”
Was the overture advice,
Then a discussion between satnavs three and four as to wether it’s twenty three or twenty five?
Then Gertrude, number two satnav
didn’t recognise the code,
I’m starting to loose the will to live,
At least she didn’t as me whether I I was a robot or not
Satnav’s three and four
Giving conflicting advise,
TIL finally satnavs
two, three, four all agreed
Though they’re still arguing who was right first
Satnav two gave
Advise about the distance
And how long it’s going to take,
Satnav three said, contrary to satnavs instructions
“if you stayed on the main road you could be there half the time,”
satnav four said ”grandpa! stop arguing with the satnav!
(Which one?)
Gertrude, satnav two said “ in four hundred you need to turn right ”
Satnav four chipped in “you’ve missed the turn
You’ll have to go back around”,
Satnav three not to miss out giving advise, said
“And mind those parked cars! “
I was going to say…
Perhaps not!
I wished I wore hearing aids
Then I could turn them off!
I now know how Job felt
With all his friends advise
“That’s only satnavs two three four
what about satnav one”
I hear you remark?
Well the first one,
The best one
Never let me down!
My go to every morning
And when it’s guided me
Safely home every night,
I say a prayer of thanks,
Always there to advise me
Never sending up at the garden path!
Whether deep in the valley
Or on the mountain top
No cord to tangle
No problem with loosing signal
Always up to date!
No need to recharge batteries
No need to listen to others advice
This first satnavs name?
The Lord Jesus Christ
* “pennies’ worth”. An expression is commonly used in English-speaking countries refers to an opinion or comment that someone gives, even if it may not be necessary