I’ve got four satnav’s…

A

Alan Heeley

I’ve got four satnav’s…
(Changed names to avoid earache!)

Got to drop our Mary
To a house in the middle of nowhere,
Wales, Five pm.
November, dark early
Raining , streets lights at a premium
never been there before.

Just give me a postcode
no problem
I’ll put it into the satnav,
That, unfortunately
Is when the fun began,

The second satnav
let’s call her Gertrude
all singing all dancing
Came inbuilt, with the car

The third I’ve been married to
for more than fifty year.
Too ready with direction
Finishes my sentences,
Knows where I’m going
Even before I do!

My latest is Mary
Ten going on nineteen!
Just old enough to sit in the front seat
And following grandma’s example
Likes to put her ‘two penny’s worth* in too

No it’s LL you missed the second “L”
Was the overture advice,
Then a discussion between satnavs three and four as to wether it’s twenty three or twenty five?

Then Gertrude, number two satnav
didn’t recognise the code,
I’m starting to loose the will to live,
At least she didn’t as me whether I I was a robot or not

Satnav’s three and four
Giving conflicting advise,
TIL finally satnavs
two, three, four all agreed
Though they’re still arguing who was right first

Satnav two gave
Advise about the distance
And how long it’s going to take,
Satnav three said, contrary to satnavs instructions
“if you stayed on the main road you could be there half the time,”

satnav four said ”grandpa! stop arguing with the satnav!
(Which one?)
Gertrude, satnav two said “ in four hundred you need to turn right ”

Satnav four chipped in “you’ve missed the turn
You’ll have to go back around”,
Satnav three not to miss out giving advise, said
“And mind those parked cars! “
I was going to say…
Perhaps not!

I wished I wore hearing aids
Then I could turn them off!
I now know how Job felt
With all his friends advise

“That’s only satnavs two three four
what about satnav one”
I hear you remark?
Well the first one,
The best one
Never let me down!

My go to every morning
And when it’s guided me
Safely home every night,
I say a prayer of thanks,
Always there to advise me
Never sending up at the garden path!

Whether deep in the valley
Or on the mountain top
No cord to tangle
No problem with loosing signal
Always up to date!
No need to recharge batteries
No need to listen to others advice
This first satnavs name?

The Lord Jesus Christ


* “pennies’ worth”. An expression is commonly used in English-speaking countries refers to an opinion or comment that someone gives, even if it may not be necessary
 
Good morning, Alan;

After reading and re-reading I’ve got four satnav’s....I wanted to ask you a few questions;

Is Gronant, North Wales, a quiet, peaceful city? Is North Wales the proper name for Wales?

We had a member who used to live there but she left end of last year and relocated back to England.

Are there differences between Wales and the UK?

God bless you, Alan.

Bob
 
Hi Bob
Gronant is a ‘ Coastal Village one mile east of Prestatyn on the north coast
About 1900 residents
It a lovely quiet village to live in
Just far enough east for the majority of people to speak english
The further west you go the first language is Welsh
It lays a fifteen minuet walk from the sea looking out onto Liverpool Bay
Seven minutes of that is over sand dunes
Its claim to fame is it’s the only place in Wales that the little turn comes to nest on the beach in summer
It is believed that the people from south Wales really dislike the people from
North Wales unless there is an English man present
Wales is part of Great Britain but like Scotland have a devolved government
Politically I won’t even go anywhere near Northern Ireland
Part of the United Kingdom there are no border controls until it comes to sport that is
Wales wins the title by far for the best national anthem
But the rugby team is in the doldrums at the moment,
The poem was a result of a journey to take my granddaughter to a party at her friends home
Once you go off the main roads street lights are very much hit and miss
Never being to the house before I was trusting my car satnav to guide me there
With help of my granddaughter ( who has just grown tall enough to sit in the front seat, and my wife sat in the back, all thinking they knew better than the car satnav my mind drifted off and this poem was reaping across my mind!
 
Hello Alan;

Very interesting. So North and South Wales speak different Welsh and both are under the umbrella of Wales.

Kind of reminds me of Canada where some of it's provinces speak French while the rest speak English.

Here in America English is the sole language but with many dialects.

I feel this distinction impacts the style of lyrics, poems and songs in their respective countries.

Just my thoughts.

God bless you, Alan.
 
Oh my goodness... Alan.... Your driving experience played out like a bbc thriller. HAHAHA.
This was another BRILLIANT and absolutely delightful and entertaining piece of writing.
I am late coming to the party.... my apologies.... I am a working gal now.

I have to confess... I had no idea what a Satnav was... but your gift of poetic expression quickly changed that so brilliantly...
I did not even have to ask Mr. Google for assistance.

I suspect that drivers everywhere can relate to having multiple satnavs in their lives... especially when in the vehicle. HAHA.
 
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