Hello everyone. I am new here, but something happened this morning that prompted me to join this site (which I plan on visiting often!) and I just can't stop thinking about it.
Well, I was out taking part in the early Black Friday (day after Thanksgiving) sales that were going on all night long at the mall. I am currently staying with a family friend and I am not THAT familiar with this area. It's kind of a secluded little neighborhood and I arrived back to the neighborhood at 4:00 in the morning by myself. Everything was pitch black, and as I turned into the driveway of the neighborhood, there was a strange woman walking slowly away from the gates, in the pitch black. My instinct was that something was really sketchy about it. I mean, this is a secluded area, and this was 4:00am. I checked my doorlocks and made sure my car was locked, as i awaited the gates to open (painstakingly slowly). I grew more nervous due to how slow these gates were opening for me, that when I looked to my passenger side door, there was the woman right next to my car looking at me. It startled me, and i just slammed on the gas, nearly hitting the opening gate. as I said, this was pitch black, 4am, and I am not familiar with this area. I drove to my family friend's house and my heart was racing and I was still scared. I ran inside and locked the doors and hid. I seriously thought she was going to try to open my doors and kill me or rob me....
Of course, after my crazed fear dissipated, I felt enormous guilt. What if she was in trouble? what if she needed my help? Was I rude to have done that? Am I a bad Christian for doing that? Am I a terribly self-indulgent person that I go and shop all night long til 4am, and I cannot even find out what this lady wants? Am I self-involved? what would other Christians do? Would their first instinct be to speed off like that? I doubt it! I feel horrible. But at the same time i feel, what if I saved my life? So i feel a mixture of things. Guilt, shame, fear and relief....
See, my thought process is that given the secludedness of this neighborhood, it is frankly extremely strange for some lady to be wandering around by herself at 4am. and something about her just made me feel really strange. (and no its not a race issue.. we're both the same race). My instinct about this woman was that something was off... In a word: i was SCARED! she was walking away from the gates when I pulled up and if she was in trouble, all the houses were just a few yards on the other side of the gate. She had free access to all these houses and she could ring any number of doorbells. Why walk around outside the gate in the dark? it doesn't make any sense. If she had come from hers or somebody's house, why not just go back to the house? Ok so am I a terrible person for trying to justify it?
I just don't know what to think any more. As I said I feel really bad / guilty like I did something wrong, and wonder if this lady is like dead somewhere, but the fact that this happened in the dark at 4am, when she could have easily accessed those houses just on the otherside of the gate makes me feel like I was justified in being absolutely terrified.
Do you have any advice? thoughts? Bible passages for this kind of thing? Understand how I am feeling? :-(
Well, I was out taking part in the early Black Friday (day after Thanksgiving) sales that were going on all night long at the mall. I am currently staying with a family friend and I am not THAT familiar with this area. It's kind of a secluded little neighborhood and I arrived back to the neighborhood at 4:00 in the morning by myself. Everything was pitch black, and as I turned into the driveway of the neighborhood, there was a strange woman walking slowly away from the gates, in the pitch black. My instinct was that something was really sketchy about it. I mean, this is a secluded area, and this was 4:00am. I checked my doorlocks and made sure my car was locked, as i awaited the gates to open (painstakingly slowly). I grew more nervous due to how slow these gates were opening for me, that when I looked to my passenger side door, there was the woman right next to my car looking at me. It startled me, and i just slammed on the gas, nearly hitting the opening gate. as I said, this was pitch black, 4am, and I am not familiar with this area. I drove to my family friend's house and my heart was racing and I was still scared. I ran inside and locked the doors and hid. I seriously thought she was going to try to open my doors and kill me or rob me....
Of course, after my crazed fear dissipated, I felt enormous guilt. What if she was in trouble? what if she needed my help? Was I rude to have done that? Am I a bad Christian for doing that? Am I a terribly self-indulgent person that I go and shop all night long til 4am, and I cannot even find out what this lady wants? Am I self-involved? what would other Christians do? Would their first instinct be to speed off like that? I doubt it! I feel horrible. But at the same time i feel, what if I saved my life? So i feel a mixture of things. Guilt, shame, fear and relief....
See, my thought process is that given the secludedness of this neighborhood, it is frankly extremely strange for some lady to be wandering around by herself at 4am. and something about her just made me feel really strange. (and no its not a race issue.. we're both the same race). My instinct about this woman was that something was off... In a word: i was SCARED! she was walking away from the gates when I pulled up and if she was in trouble, all the houses were just a few yards on the other side of the gate. She had free access to all these houses and she could ring any number of doorbells. Why walk around outside the gate in the dark? it doesn't make any sense. If she had come from hers or somebody's house, why not just go back to the house? Ok so am I a terrible person for trying to justify it?
I just don't know what to think any more. As I said I feel really bad / guilty like I did something wrong, and wonder if this lady is like dead somewhere, but the fact that this happened in the dark at 4am, when she could have easily accessed those houses just on the otherside of the gate makes me feel like I was justified in being absolutely terrified.
Do you have any advice? thoughts? Bible passages for this kind of thing? Understand how I am feeling? :-(
Last edited: