I Don't Know What I'm Doing?:/

[autumn oddity]

...Okay, first its been 3 no 4 years and i haven't changed much at all. and I recently switched churches do to the wa i felt at my former church. I want to go back, andI know God had methere for a reason... I just hate the way I was treated. Like my old pastor I honesly felt like she didn't respect meat all, I was treat different from theoter members... when she rebuked the congregation, fet mine wasthe harshest... then the others (theres more depth to this, but I won't go into it) and I just don't want to be that person people think they can get over on because the see her ating a certain wa towards me... they think its okay too. The other church I went to last sunday ,was, well it was organized but what it made up for physically (that my old church did't have ;building,band,many rooms devoted to different branches of stud(bible study ect.) it lacked spiritually.
Like, during worship I could not feel God's prsences there at all, the band was great but the people were so static. Not one opened their mouth to praise God, the people there just stood side by side watching the band, the only ones who we praising the lord, worship(no one was in the spirit..nothing). That sunday I just felt I went to a abuilding filled with people ,not church. :/
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-xx-xx-xxx-xx

At my former church, you felt his presence, you'd bow before him, we sang, screamed hallejuh and danced and she's full of his spirt, she can tell whenyou're burden, have offense; she sees visions, she has a relationship w/ God a true one...also, when it came to the message , my pastor always made sure everyone had a bible to read on. At the new one I attend, the just have big flat screens for you to look on ...andI means its a wonderfull church they treat you wonderfully, its organized and what not.. but I just can't do it there, it made me realize..where eve God's spirit is that's were I want to be. (thats the good news.."yay"clap-clap lol)

But I just wonder why I'd have to choose between my dignity and God's presence

For a while now , I've been harboring anger,bitterness and hatred towards God...bc he allowed me to be treated in such a way.. that I don't trust him much anymore.The only thing tat i do trust is that He will do what he wants to do whether it breaks my heart or not, whether i can handle it or not... it obviously doesn't matter much to Him.

I just feel kinda unlucky, like God idk, is just taking his anger out on me. BC when i did try and do what he wanted me to do, I feltI got nothing in return; never heard Him speak to me often, (im a loner anddon't have any friends practically so I was ecstatic to hear from Him and do what he wanted and grow in Him , yet i heard nothign smh) I didn't change the way I'd like (you know how the HS tells you when you've just lied, or read His word ect.) I'd get that every blue moon..and each moon being spaced far, far apart : (

and this was when I was trying, trying to do what he wanted, yet i got silence and disrespect .... and I just feel like with God I fly under His radar, like he has more important peple to change because he loves them more. And if being treated like crap and Him giving me the silent treatment is God's way of saying "I love you, Britt" then, somethings wrong.


I'd just like words of advice if I could ge any....

 

[ixoye_8]

But I just wonder why I'd have to choose between my dignity and God's presence

For a while now , I've been harboring anger,bitterness and hatred towards God...bc he allowed me to be treated in such a way.. that I don't trust him much anymore.The only thing tat i do trust is that He will do what he wants to do whether it breaks my heart or not, whether i can handle it or not... it obviously doesn't matter much to Him.

I just feel kinda unlucky, like God idk, is just taking his anger out on me. BC when i did try and do what he wanted me to do, I feltI got nothing in return; never heard Him speak to me often, (im a loner anddon't have any friends practically so I was ecstatic to hear from Him and do what he wanted and grow in Him , yet i heard nothign smh) I didn't change the way I'd like (you know how the HS tells you when you've just lied, or read His word ect.) I'd get that every blue moon..and each moon being spaced far, far apart : (

and this was when I was trying, trying to do what he wanted, yet i got silence and disrespect .... and I just feel like with God I fly under His radar, like he has more important peple to change because he loves them more. And if being treated like crap and Him giving me the silent treatment is God's way of saying "I love you, Britt" then, somethings wrong.

I'd just like words of advice if I could ge any....

a church is for edification and fellowship ..
perhaps you should seek a third choice ..
God closes one door and opens another ..

to rebuke an individual before a congregation should only be done IF in the presence of All the congregation you did what deserved rebuking .. AND the minister did rebuke you privately first, as to give you a chance to modify that sin behavior ..

now to address the MAIN issue ..
you are mad at God .. you do not trust God .. you think God is ignoring you etc ..

is God suppose to protect your ego ???
or are you suppose to be squelching it on your own to begin with ???

so you think that God thinks like this ???
I love everyone, but those over there are my favorites ..
God loves all His children equally ..

from your complaint, it sounds like if you swapped shoes with me, you would want your shoes back .. because I am abused for His name sake and by that, I am blessed ..

Mat 5:10 “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Mat 5:11 “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.

Jesus told you in advance He is NOT ignoring you or going to keep you from abuse ..
on the contrary He tells us to persevere and endure and He will bring us through the "furnace of infliction" which perfects us ..

so make yourself a servant to your brethren .. and learn to enjoy serving them ..

Mat 20:26 “It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,

Mat 20:28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

are we greater then our Master/Teacher ???

Mat 5:12 “Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

my time is limited, and I must go .. but what I have said was in love Brit ..
so I say ..
seek not to be justified here, but let Him who justifies do so in the correct time ..

God bless you ..

 

[Tressa]

...Okay, first its been 3 no 4 years and i haven't changed much at all. and I recently switched churches do to the wa i felt at my former church. I want to go back, andI know God had methere for a reason... I just hate the way I was treated. Like my old pastor I honesly felt like she didn't respect meat all, I was treat different from theoter members... when she rebuked the congregation, fet mine wasthe harshest... then the others (theres more depth to this, but I won't go into it) and I just don't want to be that person people think they can get over on because the see her ating a certain wa towards me... they think its okay too. The other church I went to last sunday ,was, well it was organized but what it made up for physically (that my old church did't have ;building,band,many rooms devoted to different branches of stud(bible study ect.) it lacked spiritually.
Like, during worship I could not feel God's prsences there at all, the band was great but the people were so static. Not one opened their mouth to praise God, the people there just stood side by side watching the band, the only ones who we praising the lord, worship(no one was in the spirit..nothing). That sunday I just felt I went to a abuilding filled with people ,not church. :/
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-xx-xx-xxx-xx

At my former church, you felt his presence, you'd bow before him, we sang, screamed hallejuh and danced and she's full of his spirt, she can tell whenyou're burden, have offense; she sees visions, she has a relationship w/ God a true one...also, when it came to the message , my pastor always made sure everyone had a bible to read on. At the new one I attend, the just have big flat screens for you to look on ...andI means its a wonderfull church they treat you wonderfully, its organized and what not.. but I just can't do it there, it made me realize..where eve God's spirit is that's were I want to be. (thats the good news.."yay"clap-clap lol)

But I just wonder why I'd have to choose between my dignity and God's presence

For a while now , I've been harboring anger,bitterness and hatred towards God...bc he allowed me to be treated in such a way.. that I don't trust him much anymore.The only thing tat i do trust is that He will do what he wants to do whether it breaks my heart or not, whether i can handle it or not... it obviously doesn't matter much to Him.

I just feel kinda unlucky, like God idk, is just taking his anger out on me. BC when i did try and do what he wanted me to do, I feltI got nothing in return; never heard Him speak to me often, (im a loner anddon't have any friends practically so I was ecstatic to hear from Him and do what he wanted and grow in Him , yet i heard nothign smh) I didn't change the way I'd like (you know how the HS tells you when you've just lied, or read His word ect.) I'd get that every blue moon..and each moon being spaced far, far apart : (

and this was when I was trying, trying to do what he wanted, yet i got silence and disrespect .... and I just feel like with God I fly under His radar, like he has more important peple to change because he loves them more. And if being treated like crap and Him giving me the silent treatment is God's way of saying "I love you, Britt" then, somethings wrong.


I'd just like words of advice if I could ge any....

"But I just wonder why I'd have to choose between my dignity and God's presence..."

Hon, Christ was crushed for us. His lost all of His dignity - His own people turned on Him. If this is what happened to God, will not the same happen to you also, His child? "You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." Matthew 10:22. I don't mean that your siblings in Christ should treat you poorly (that's wrong, just look at James), but I am saying you can expect poor treatment if you are really Christ's. It is going to happen. The key is to be hidden in the Rock, the Lord, beyond the stings of those attacks. "The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety." Psalm 18:2. For when you are hidden in Christ you can stand up to that poor treatment and know, with confidence, that "all things work together for the good of those who love Him."

"For a while now , I've been harboring anger,bitterness and hatred towards God...bc he allowed me to be treated in such a way.. that I don't trust him much anymore.The only thing tat i do trust is that He will do what he wants to do whether it breaks my heart or not, whether i can handle it or not... it obviously doesn't matter much to Him."

He bought you at a great price. "God bought you with a high price." 1 Corinthians 6:20. When He pays great for something He isn't going to leave it out in the street...rather He will tend to it with the utmost of care. "I will never leave you nor forsake you."!

As for you trying to do the right thing that is why you are running into problems and burning out! Christ's plan is for us to do all things IN Him - In HIS Strength and with HIS endurance. ""Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5. When faced with those hard things you say yes to Christ and let Him in all of His Strength handle it....for own your own terms and own your own feeble strength you will fall. We live this new life through Him. And He is glorified when we are weak - the Strength and Ability of our God is released when we are weak! "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 12:9