...Okay, first its been 3 no 4 years and i haven't changed much at all. and I recently switched churches do to the wa i felt at my former church. I want to go back, andI know God had methere for a reason... I just hate the way I was treated. Like my old pastor I honesly felt like she didn't respect meat all, I was treat different from theoter members... when she rebuked the congregation, fet mine wasthe harshest... then the others (theres more depth to this, but I won't go into it) and I just don't want to be that person people think they can get over on because the see her ating a certain wa towards me... they think its okay too. The other church I went to last sunday ,was, well it was organized but what it made up for physically (that my old church did't have ;building,band,many rooms devoted to different branches of stud(bible study ect.) it lacked spiritually.
Like, during worship I could not feel God's prsences there at all, the band was great but the people were so static. Not one opened their mouth to praise God, the people there just stood side by side watching the band, the only ones who we praising the lord, worship(no one was in the spirit..nothing). That sunday I just felt I went to a abuilding filled with people ,not church. :/
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At my former church, you felt his presence, you'd bow before him, we sang, screamed hallejuh and danced and she's full of his spirt, she can tell whenyou're burden, have offense; she sees visions, she has a relationship w/ God a true one...also, when it came to the message , my pastor always made sure everyone had a bible to read on. At the new one I attend, the just have big flat screens for you to look on ...andI means its a wonderfull church they treat you wonderfully, its organized and what not.. but I just can't do it there, it made me realize..where eve God's spirit is that's were I want to be. (thats the good news.."yay"clap-clap lol)
But I just wonder why I'd have to choose between my dignity and God's presence
For a while now , I've been harboring anger,bitterness and hatred towards God...bc he allowed me to be treated in such a way.. that I don't trust him much anymore.The only thing tat i do trust is that He will do what he wants to do whether it breaks my heart or not, whether i can handle it or not... it obviously doesn't matter much to Him.
I just feel kinda unlucky, like God idk, is just taking his anger out on me. BC when i did try and do what he wanted me to do, I feltI got nothing in return; never heard Him speak to me often, (im a loner anddon't have any friends practically so I was ecstatic to hear from Him and do what he wanted and grow in Him , yet i heard nothign smh) I didn't change the way I'd like (you know how the HS tells you when you've just lied, or read His word ect.) I'd get that every blue moon..and each moon being spaced far, far apart : (
and this was when I was trying, trying to do what he wanted, yet i got silence and disrespect .... and I just feel like with God I fly under His radar, like he has more important peple to change because he loves them more. And if being treated like crap and Him giving me the silent treatment is God's way of saying "I love you, Britt" then, somethings wrong.
I'd just like words of advice if I could ge any....
Like, during worship I could not feel God's prsences there at all, the band was great but the people were so static. Not one opened their mouth to praise God, the people there just stood side by side watching the band, the only ones who we praising the lord, worship(no one was in the spirit..nothing). That sunday I just felt I went to a abuilding filled with people ,not church. :/
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-xx-xx-xxx-xx
At my former church, you felt his presence, you'd bow before him, we sang, screamed hallejuh and danced and she's full of his spirt, she can tell whenyou're burden, have offense; she sees visions, she has a relationship w/ God a true one...also, when it came to the message , my pastor always made sure everyone had a bible to read on. At the new one I attend, the just have big flat screens for you to look on ...andI means its a wonderfull church they treat you wonderfully, its organized and what not.. but I just can't do it there, it made me realize..where eve God's spirit is that's were I want to be. (thats the good news.."yay"clap-clap lol)
But I just wonder why I'd have to choose between my dignity and God's presence
For a while now , I've been harboring anger,bitterness and hatred towards God...bc he allowed me to be treated in such a way.. that I don't trust him much anymore.The only thing tat i do trust is that He will do what he wants to do whether it breaks my heart or not, whether i can handle it or not... it obviously doesn't matter much to Him.
I just feel kinda unlucky, like God idk, is just taking his anger out on me. BC when i did try and do what he wanted me to do, I feltI got nothing in return; never heard Him speak to me often, (im a loner anddon't have any friends practically so I was ecstatic to hear from Him and do what he wanted and grow in Him , yet i heard nothign smh) I didn't change the way I'd like (you know how the HS tells you when you've just lied, or read His word ect.) I'd get that every blue moon..and each moon being spaced far, far apart : (
and this was when I was trying, trying to do what he wanted, yet i got silence and disrespect .... and I just feel like with God I fly under His radar, like he has more important peple to change because he loves them more. And if being treated like crap and Him giving me the silent treatment is God's way of saying "I love you, Britt" then, somethings wrong.
I'd just like words of advice if I could ge any....