I just found out that my brother got a hold of my journal and doesn’t want to speak to me again

Lifeasweknowit

Lifeasweknowit

My mother accidentally (or so I hope) handed my brother two of my journals, which were supposed to be blank binders for his children. Both of the journals had very intense writing done my me about my brother who was extremely mean to me growing up. I had hatred towards him. These things were written years ago before I was a born again. They have to be at least 5 or 10 years ago (the one about hatred probably 10). My brother also sexual assaulted me when we were very little and I have never told anyone except one counselor along time ago. I believe I wrote that in the journal as well.

I had been wondering why my sister in law is not speaking to me and I just found out today it’s because my brother never wants to talk to me again. I feel that the moment my brother realized it was my journal he should have stopped reading it, but he did not.

My brother and I have not been close for 20 years (We are both in our early 30’s). At a young age he began either berating me and scaring me with his anger and emotional abuse or ignoring me completely, so I have distanced myself, while still visiting my sister in law and the kids from time to time. He would be there and we shared some words from time to time, but that would be it. He never opened himself up to a relationship with me.

How do I rectify this situation? At this point, I feel he invaded my privacy and that he should have stopped reading the moment he realized it was my journal. I can’t help but this this was God’s plan in some weird way.
 
Oh Tink, I'm sorry.....learned something new about you today. Very transparent here BTW.

Pray-pray again, forgive; ask for God to intervene-don't pester your Brother.

Don't 'do' anything in your own strength; turn it over to God: probably the hardest thing to learn in a Christian walk. Wish I could tell you an easy way to do that.....

May take years of healing...
 
Thank you so much, Mike,
I felt this was the only safe place because I don’t really know anyone in real life on here and I honestly would never tell my husband or my friends any of this stuff. These are things they don’t need to know. I appreciate your support and kindness greatly. I will continue to pray, as I have for many years about him and our relationship. It just seems sometimes that he has a hardened heart. I just hope this isn’t the case. I will not contact him and let it go, or let God guide me in what I should do. I just miss those kids and am sad if I can’t see them again...
 
Understandable....


Husband? ;) Good for you. Commit to it, good or bad. Let God honor you in your marriage. Can't but help feel a bit of envy...

"Family" is becoming extinct in our culture. Cherish it. God Bless you....

That being said; there may come a time when it may need to be discussed with your husband...take great care in this.
 
Lifeasweknowit said:
How do I rectify this situation? At this point, I feel he invaded my privacy and that he should have stopped reading the moment he realized it was my journal. I can’t help but this this was God’s plan in some weird way.
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What is there to actually rectify? There has been no real relationship for 20 years, you say. It's a sad thing, but in many--MANY--families today blood connections mean nothing. I would say to keep on living your life without him in it, and save yourself a boatload of hurt. Let him live his sorry life, but you can still pray for him, and move on and live out your life with people who really love you and matter to you.

I've had to do this with two of my daughters, and my heart aches for the two youngest of my grandchildren. I have had to let them go and let God bring them back. In the meantime, I live my life to please the Lord, walking in His love, His comfort and His joy. He'll take care of it all.
 
Lifeasweknowit said:
My mother accidentally (or so I hope) handed my brother two of my journals, which were supposed to be blank binders for his children. Both of the journals had very intense writing done my me about my brother who was extremely mean to me growing up. I had hatred towards him. These things were written years ago before I was a born again. They have to be at least 5 or 10 years ago (the one about hatred probably 10). My brother also sexual assaulted me when we were very little and I have never told anyone except one counselor along time ago. I believe I wrote that in the journal as well.

I had been wondering why my sister in law is not speaking to me and I just found out today it’s because my brother never wants to talk to me again. I feel that the moment my brother realized it was my journal he should have stopped reading it, but he did not.

My brother and I have not been close for 20 years (We are both in our early 30’s). At a young age he began either berating me and scaring me with his anger and emotional abuse or ignoring me completely, so I have distanced myself, while still visiting my sister in law and the kids from time to time. He would be there and we shared some words from time to time, but that would be it. He never opened himself up to a relationship with me.

How do I rectify this situation? At this point, I feel he invaded my privacy and that he should have stopped reading the moment he realized it was my journal. I can’t help but this this was God’s plan in some weird way.
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I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll be praying for you. Check out Jim Richard's teachings about healing the soul. Your's has been wounded and you need to get it healed as well.
 
Abdicate said:
He's the author, yes, but I've not read it... I just listen to his stuff like this one on faith: youtu.be/8BK3P1iqTMU

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Yes, I've seen that. I used to take in his Thursday night broadcasts, but it seems he doesn't do them anymore. I get his emails and now I see that he sends a link to a short message instead. Jim Richards is an amazingly anointed man of God, who has been given an incredible mind!
 
Euphemia said:
Yes, I've seen that. I used to take in his Thursday night broadcasts, but it seems he doesn't do them anymore. I get his emails and now I see that he sends a link to a short message instead. Jim Richards is an amazingly anointed man of God, who has been given an incredible mind!
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Yes, and it's a shame that he like most others want to sell their wares, no matter how anointing.
 
Abdicate said:
Yes, and it's a shame that he like most others want to sell their wares, no matter how anointing.
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I don't consider Jim like that, although he does market his message, and I am glad that they are available, as he is incredibly anointed. We are all entitled to make a living, after all!
 
Thank you everyone for your positive words! I have had a lot of trauma from childhood and by the grace of God am doing pretty well, but I still need something to help with some of the bigger things that have occurred. I will look into the book as well as the YouTube video. Anything that can help...

Regarding my brother, I have been trying to restore that issues for hears, but only in my heart. He just doesn't communicate with me. The only time we see each other is momentarily when I go to see his children, whom I love so much. Now I am probably cut off from his three kids and that deeply saddens me. My sister in law is familiar what is going on and is now not communicating with me as well. She has told my mother that she isn't upset at me, but that she doesn't want to get in the middle of it. I pray that the situation will be resolved, but I am not comfortable reaching out to even my SIL yet, as I feel it was somewhat an invasion of my privacy and I am almost positive she has read some of my journal entries as well.
 
Brother_Mike_V said:
Understandable....


Husband? ;) Good for you. Commit to it, good or bad. Let God honor you in your marriage. Can't but help feel a bit of envy...

"Family" is becoming extinct in our culture. Cherish it. God Bless you....

That being said; there may come a time when it may need to be discussed with your husband...take great care in this.
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Hello! :D, yes we got married a year ago...I feel so blessed God brought him into my life. He is a Godly man and a good man. Oh, please don't feel envy :( there was a night where I spent a long time in prayer, crying and pouring out my heart to God about a lot of things, namely finding a husband. I asked God to give me patience until I found this man, I also described some characteristics I desired in my future mate. A few moths later we met, but I know it doesn't always happen this way.

Honestly, however, I don't think I want to tell him everything and when I tried bringing some things up in the past it was hard and he said not to do it because I could be re-victimizing myself. We definitely are committed to the marriage because we put god first everyday and all day (y)
 
Lifeasweknowit said:
Honestly, however, I don't think I want to tell him everything and when I tried bringing some things up in the past it was hard and he said not to do it because I could be re-victimizing myself. We definitely are committed to the marriage because we put god first everyday and all day (y)
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I am not saying to let all the cats out of the bag; especially all at once. Your life before salvation is a different ballgame. What I was trying to communicate is that you should mentally prepare yourself to talk with him about this if necessary-don't hide things from your husband. Consider marital counseling sessions-NOW before the fire gets turned on and you will be more prepared. Even if those counseling sessions are you and your husband having intimate talks. You are still 'honeymoon swooning'; happens for about 2 years after marriage. And then "life as we know it" happens! ;)

The #1 persons (and possibly the only human on earth) you should be the most transparent, exposed and vulnerable too is your husband....
 
Brother_Mike_V said:
I am not saying to let all the cats out of the bag; especially all at once. Your life before salvation is a different ballgame. What I was trying to communicate is that you should mentally prepare yourself to talk with him about this if necessary-don't hide things from your husband. Consider marital counseling sessions-NOW before the fire gets turned on and you will be more prepared. Even if those counseling sessions are you and your husband having intimate talks. You are still 'honeymoon swooning'; happens for about 2 years after marriage. And then "life as we know it" happens! ;)

The #1 persons (and possibly the only human on earth) you should be the most transparent, exposed and vulnerable too is your husband....
Click to expand...

Yes, it'll take some time, definitely. You're correct re honeymoon and I try to remind him about it all the time. I've been in a much longer relationship than this and I'm aware of how the dynamic can change... seemingly overnight. We did premarital counseling and some regular counseling about a month ago. I remind him to never get too comfortable and to understand marriage is hard and we're just at the easy point (I try to remind myself of this as well). He seems to belive that we'll get through anything....which is nice!, but a little idealistic (thats how he can be sometimes ). We pray for God to bless our marriage and to remain strong and avoid temptation. We do not want to become a statistic, but understand it can happen. We are very transparent, but certain things takes a little time. Deep down, I think he honestly doesn want to know because it'll make him feel uncomfortable.
 
it wasn't a mistake. it was meant to happen.

the truth can never be hidden. even if it came out abruptly its time to deal with it cause its been hidden too long.

your brother is not talking to you because he cant face himself.

Leave him in God's hands whilst you carry on with your life.
(if he comes around it should be for the best).

Don't feel bad about this at all.
You done no wrong.
 
Mercedes Benz E Class said:
it wasn't a mistake. it was meant to happen.

the truth can never be hidden. even if it came out abruptly its time to deal with it cause its been hidden too long.

your brother is not talking to you because he cant face himself.

Leave him in God's hands whilst you carry on with your life.
(if he comes around it should be for the best).

Don't feel bad about this at all.
You done no wrong.
Click to expand...

I agree totally!!

It was intentional for it to happen, all things in the dark will come into the light.

A few months ago me and brothers had fallen out also. We all had a big argument about some ongoing issues that went way out of hand that pushed me to the point of calling the police and now they will not speak to me anymore. I carried guilt from the incident but I went to my church for counsel and prayer through that God touched my heart and I realized that "All things happen for the good of those that love the Lord." Romans 8:28

I had to pray about it and let it go. I wrote a letter and apologized to them for my actions and placed in God's hands then kept living.

He is not mad at you for what you said he is mad because of the truth and sometimes that truth hurts so much that we react in an irrational way.

Pray for him and allow God to move and work.
 
thechristiansinglemother said:
I agree totally!!

It was intentional for it to happen, all things in the dark will come into the light.

A few months ago me and brothers had fallen out also. We all had a big argument about some ongoing issues that went way out of hand that pushed me to the point of calling the police and now they will not speak to me anymore. I carried guilt from the incident but I went to my church for counsel and prayer through that God touched my heart and I realized that "All things happen for the good of those that love the Lord." Romans 8:28

I had to pray about it and let it go. I wrote a letter and apologized to them for my actions and placed in God's hands then kept living.

He is not mad at you for what you said he is mad because of the truth and sometimes that truth hurts so much that we react in an irrational way.

Pray for him and allow God to move and work.
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Amen Christian
Glad you came full circle.
Sometimes we have to shake the dust off our feet and move on.
God holds all things together so no need to panic.
Take care
 
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