I Need Jesus

I've been a full blown lawyer, in the spiritual sense, a hypocrite, a sinner in rebellion, mostly blind, and very weak in the flesh. I have been a so called Christian for a long time, but as I started to examine what faith is, I find it's something I really struggle with. Nothing new, I guess for most Christians. My faith is not fluid. It isn't smooth. It's on, then off, then on, off, etc... I think it does this because my perception of reality, or my eyesight, is bad. Jesus said if your eye is good, your body is full of light. If your eye is bad, how dark is that light in your body! So, I consider myself someone who was born spiritually blind.

I can't see very well now. I'm kind of like a several of the people in the bible.... first, the dad of the boy who had seizures, and the dad said to Jesus, "I believe - help my unbelief!". Second I'm like the boy who was born blind in John 9. Third, I'm like the man who regained his sight but couldn't make out the trees, he needed extra attention from Jesus to help him see completely.

Of course I'm talking about eyes of faith. The confidence of things hoped for, the substance of things not seen. Believing that God is, and is a rewarder of those who seek him.

I wonder how common these struggles are?

Right now I'm really feeling the need to have Jesus as my friend - someone who is in complete control, but doesn't judge me, just wants to listen and help me, taking our time so I heal. Jesus says to clean the inside of the cup first, not the outside first like the Pharisees did, like I have tried to do, honestly enough. So if repentance is changing your view on who God is, and I can confess my sins to God thru Jesus, I am definitely confessing my sins. The change of heart about God is a harder thing to change. I learned to believe today that the church and its members is the hands and feet of Christ's body and that I need to interact with believers.

So that's part of what I'm doing right now. I need your feedback, your encouragement, and for you to share with me your struggles with faith also.
 
I've been a full blown lawyer, in the spiritual sense, a hypocrite, a sinner in rebellion, mostly blind, and very weak in the flesh. I have been a so called Christian for a long time, but as I started to examine what faith is, I find it's something I really struggle with. Nothing new, I guess for most Christians. My faith is not fluid. It isn't smooth. It's on, then off, then on, off, etc... I think it does this because my perception of reality, or my eyesight, is bad. Jesus said if your eye is good, your body is full of light. If your eye is bad, how dark is that light in your body! So, I consider myself someone who was born spiritually blind.

I can't see very well now. I'm kind of like a several of the people in the bible.... first, the dad of the boy who had seizures, and the dad said to Jesus, "I believe - help my unbelief!". Second I'm like the boy who was born blind in John 9. Third, I'm like the man who regained his sight but couldn't make out the trees, he needed extra attention from Jesus to help him see completely.

Of course I'm talking about eyes of faith. The confidence of things hoped for, the substance of things not seen. Believing that God is, and is a rewarder of those who seek him.

I wonder how common these struggles are?

Right now I'm really feeling the need to have Jesus as my friend - someone who is in complete control, but doesn't judge me, just wants to listen and help me, taking our time so I heal. Jesus says to clean the inside of the cup first, not the outside first like the Pharisees did, like I have tried to do, honestly enough. So if repentance is changing your view on who God is, and I can confess my sins to God thru Jesus, I am definitely confessing my sins. The change of heart about God is a harder thing to change. I learned to believe today that the church and its members is the hands and feet of Christ's body and that I need to interact with believers.

So that's part of what I'm doing right now. I need your feedback, your encouragement, and for you to share with me your struggles with faith also.

My intention is not to offend, Banjo, so please try not to take what I write in that manner. But from reading what you have written here, "Right now I'm really feeling the need to have Jesus as my friend - someone who is in complete control, but doesn't judge me, just wants to listen and help me, taking our time so I heal," you are looking for a nice Teddy Bear with a bright red bow. According to the Bible, He is not divisible from G-d. G-d is One. And G-d is Judge and a Consuming Fire. Are you ready to cuddle up to a Consuming Fire?

I am not attempting to scare you. That is not my place. But you will not find G-d until you come to Him in Truth, accepting Him as He is, not recreating Him in your own image. That holy fire that may be really bothering you right now will not kill you but will burn up all the things that would keep you from Him, turning you into the one you ought to be, preparing you for the Kingdom. Are you ready for that, or do you want a story book Jesus?

:)
 
My intention is not to offend, Banjo, so please try not to take what I write in that manner. But from reading what you have written here, "Right now I'm really feeling the need to have Jesus as my friend - someone who is in complete control, but doesn't judge me, just wants to listen and help me, taking our time so I heal," you are looking for a nice Teddy Bear with a bright red bow. According to the Bible, He is not divisible from G-d. G-d is One. And G-d is Judge and a Consuming Fire. Are you ready to cuddle up to a Consuming Fire?

I am not attempting to scare you. That is not my place. But you will not find G-d until you come to Him in Truth, accepting Him as He is, not recreating Him in your own image. That holy fire that may be really bothering you right now will not kill you but will burn up all the things that would keep you from Him, turning you into the one you ought to be, preparing you for the Kingdom. Are you ready for that, or do you want a story book Jesus?

:)
I know God is holy and a judge and a consuming fire. But didn't God exhaust his wrath and my judgment on Jesus, and as far as a consuming fire, didn't God say in Hebrews 12:18-24 that we have not come to a blazing fire but to Christ? I've lived in dread of God for most all my life. It's time for me to see God as my Father. Abba, daddy Father (Romans 8:15). I'm really not recreating a story God in my head to ask him thru Jesus to be my friend. Jesus said to his disciples they are his friends, as they do his commandments.
 
Okay. Are you, then, ready to allow Him to be G-d? You know enough, from what I've read, to know He will not change for you. Is that acceptable?
 
Okay. Are you, then, ready to allow Him to be G-d? You know enough, from what I've read, to know He will not change for you. Is that acceptable?
Of course, he will not change for me. I wouldn't want him to. My ways are sinful, his ways are right and good. That's why I need Jesus right now. I trust Jesus' character and his work on the cross with my heart.
 
Of course, he will not change for me. I wouldn't want him to. My ways are sinful, his ways are right and good. That's why I need Jesus right now. I trust Jesus' character and his work on the cross with my heart.
Did you really intend to write what you did here? You meant this?
 
Because there are pastors and leaders here who can help you. Just give them a little time to find this, and in the meantime, be in prayer.
 
I've been a full blown lawyer, in the spiritual sense, a hypocrite, a sinner in rebellion, mostly blind, and very weak in the flesh. I have been a so called Christian for a long time, but as I started to examine what faith is, I find it's something I really struggle with. Nothing new, I guess for most Christians. My faith is not fluid. It isn't smooth. It's on, then off, then on, off, etc... I think it does this because my perception of reality, or my eyesight, is bad. Jesus said if your eye is good, your body is full of light. If your eye is bad, how dark is that light in your body! So, I consider myself someone who was born spiritually blind.

I can't see very well now. I'm kind of like a several of the people in the bible.... first, the dad of the boy who had seizures, and the dad said to Jesus, "I believe - help my unbelief!". Second I'm like the boy who was born blind in John 9. Third, I'm like the man who regained his sight but couldn't make out the trees, he needed extra attention from Jesus to help him see completely.

Of course I'm talking about eyes of faith. The confidence of things hoped for, the substance of things not seen. Believing that God is, and is a rewarder of those who seek him.

I wonder how common these struggles are?

Right now I'm really feeling the need to have Jesus as my friend - someone who is in complete control, but doesn't judge me, just wants to listen and help me, taking our time so I heal. Jesus says to clean the inside of the cup first, not the outside first like the Pharisees did, like I have tried to do, honestly enough. So if repentance is changing your view on who God is, and I can confess my sins to God thru Jesus, I am definitely confessing my sins. The change of heart about God is a harder thing to change. I learned to believe today that the church and its members is the hands and feet of Christ's body and that I need to interact with believers.

So that's part of what I'm doing right now. I need your feedback, your encouragement, and for you to share with me your struggles with faith also.
Hallelujah!!! I've been there! God is Love and He loves you so much He died for you. Now you have to die! Every one of the feelings you have are a result of focusing on yourself instead of Jesus and the wonderful work He's done for you and in you. It's the last ditch effort of the soul to hold onto the flesh! Surrender and be burned up like Ezri says. Go to your prayer closet and pray pray pray and don't come out until you experience His presence. Be like the widow seeking justice and have faith like the women seeking to touch the hem of His garment. Love God by showing Him. 5 mins a day in "prayer" or "reading" does nothing for your faith because it's food for your spirit and you, like everyone, especially me, might be fat in the body, but anorexic in the spirit. You're going to have to go into that closet for hours sometimes, that is what it means to come to the throne of grace in boldness for what YOU need! Glory to God He's waiting for you to leave your flesh behind and allow your spirit to reign. He will reply! Praise Jesus!!! :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:
 
I've been a full blown lawyer, in the spiritual sense, a hypocrite, a sinner in rebellion, mostly blind, and very weak in the flesh. I have been a so called Christian for a long time, but as I started to examine what faith is, I find it's something I really struggle with. Nothing new, I guess for most Christians. My faith is not fluid. It isn't smooth. It's on, then off, then on, off, etc... I think it does this because my perception of reality, or my eyesight, is bad. Jesus said if your eye is good, your body is full of light. If your eye is bad, how dark is that light in your body! So, I consider myself someone who was born spiritually blind.

I can't see very well now. I'm kind of like a several of the people in the bible.... first, the dad of the boy who had seizures, and the dad said to Jesus, "I believe - help my unbelief!". Second I'm like the boy who was born blind in John 9. Third, I'm like the man who regained his sight but couldn't make out the trees, he needed extra attention from Jesus to help him see completely.

Of course I'm talking about eyes of faith. The confidence of things hoped for, the substance of things not seen. Believing that God is, and is a rewarder of those who seek him.

I wonder how common these struggles are?

Right now I'm really feeling the need to have Jesus as my friend - someone who is in complete control, but doesn't judge me, just wants to listen and help me, taking our time so I heal. Jesus says to clean the inside of the cup first, not the outside first like the Pharisees did, like I have tried to do, honestly enough. So if repentance is changing your view on who God is, and I can confess my sins to God thru Jesus, I am definitely confessing my sins. The change of heart about God is a harder thing to change. I learned to believe today that the church and its members is the hands and feet of Christ's body and that I need to interact with believers.

So that's part of what I'm doing right now. I need your feedback, your encouragement, and for you to share with me your struggles with faith also.

1. Firstly lets just be clear on ''faith''. It must never be ''does God exist''! That should be a given, like gravity.
2. Secondly a Christian is to have one more 'given' on faith and that is that Jesus is Lord 1 Cor 12:3.
3. A Christian's walk of faith is a relationship with God. Like getting to know our spouses. We grow in 'relationship faith' not 'unbelief faith'. We become more convinced everyday that God is good. That scripture is true.

So you need to determine where you are at. We all need to daily examine ourselves. Note this examining is not a case of 'do I feel God's presence or not'. It is judging ourselves. Do we approve of what Jesus taught? Are we carrying our cross? Do we choose to wake up and say we love Jesus? Are we turning the left cheek and being selfless? I am not suggesting we get the cart before the horse, but we must judge the cart to know the horse.

It really sounds like you just need 1 Pihl 2:12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

and 1 Cor 11:31 But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment.

God's anointing and presence comes when we are carrying our cross.
 
I've been a full blown lawyer, in the spiritual sense, a hypocrite, a sinner in rebellion, mostly blind, and very weak in the flesh. I have been a so called Christian for a long time, but as I started to examine what faith is, I find it's something I really struggle with. Nothing new, I guess for most Christians. My faith is not fluid. It isn't smooth. It's on, then off, then on, off, etc... I think it does this because my perception of reality, or my eyesight, is bad. Jesus said if your eye is good, your body is full of light. If your eye is bad, how dark is that light in your body! So, I consider myself someone who was born spiritually blind.

I can't see very well now. I'm kind of like a several of the people in the bible.... first, the dad of the boy who had seizures, and the dad said to Jesus, "I believe - help my unbelief!". Second I'm like the boy who was born blind in John 9. Third, I'm like the man who regained his sight but couldn't make out the trees, he needed extra attention from Jesus to help him see completely.

Of course I'm talking about eyes of faith. The confidence of things hoped for, the substance of things not seen. Believing that God is, and is a rewarder of those who seek him.

I wonder how common these struggles are?

Right now I'm really feeling the need to have Jesus as my friend - someone who is in complete control, but doesn't judge me, just wants to listen and help me, taking our time so I heal. Jesus says to clean the inside of the cup first, not the outside first like the Pharisees did, like I have tried to do, honestly enough. So if repentance is changing your view on who God is, and I can confess my sins to God thru Jesus, I am definitely confessing my sins. The change of heart about God is a harder thing to change. I learned to believe today that the church and its members is the hands and feet of Christ's body and that I need to interact with believers.

So that's part of what I'm doing right now. I need your feedback, your encouragement, and for you to share with me your struggles with faith also.

How heartfelt and honest!

I think these struggles are very common, but if I told you a secret, would you believe it?

You don't have to clean the inside of your cup! Jesus is indeed your friend, who is right there with you every single day all day, forever, and will never leave you or forsake you! That is His promise. As for cleaning you up---well, that cleansing has been done by the blood of Jesus! His precious and perfect blood has made you acceptable to God, and deemed righteous in His sight! Our job as His righteous children is to merely follow and obey His word, but that isn't too hard when our Father is so good and perfect! The changes of heart that we undergo is sometimes a little too gradual for our own personal liking, but God's agenda for each of us is to re-create us into the likeness of His Son, and that takes time---something God has a lot of. We can strive to become more like Jesus, but we do not have to strive to fit a mold that we or others have set for us. Love God and love others---that's a good start!
 
Hi Banjo71, grace and peace to you. Those sound like some good insights. It looks like you've definitely studied the Scriptures and sought God. I hope you don't mind me asking, have you been born again of the Spirit of God / seeing the fruit of the Spirit in your life? I was just curious about it or your testimony since I didn't see it mentioned in your previous posts and you mentioned "I consider myself someone who was born spiritually blind." :)
 
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