@Cosmicwaffle
Cryptography was created because messages would be intercepted by the enemy and changed. In fact in the ancient times, they'd write a message on the bald head of someone, then let it grow, go to the outpost and they'd shave their head and read the message, then kill him. Hence the adage "Don't kill the messenger". This is what the enemy does. He intercepts messages from the Lord from His word through men's vanity, traditions, and egos.
I grew up Catholic. My dad got saved watching Billy Graham and the nearest church was Methodist. Dad wanting to check out others, Pentecostal, Southern Baptists, Holiness, and finally settled on Independent Baptists. I really didn't care, I just enjoyed church since I was a kid. After leaving the house and on my own, I found it wonderfully liberating to go where ever the Holy Spirit led. So I don't have a canned religion, I just go to the Source. I love mysteries. God has been and forever will be the most mysterious, yet to learn some nugget He hid in His word about Him is just overwhelmingly joyful. But to encounter Him personally makes the joy of the nugget pale in comparison.
Do as Pastor Gary says and start over with only one thing in mind: find God. Not just in His word, that's the start, but find Him in your heart. Be determined to find Him. "Seek and ye shall find". God goes silent when we are too busy to listen. Then we realize some morning "Hey! Where's God?" Then the devil pops up on cue and says "He's left you! He doesn't love you any more!" IMMEDIATELY we must act on 2 Cor 10:5-6. I know I've been there. As you start over, you will have doubts, frustrations, more doubts, but believe God's word, at least one verse:
"I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
Heb 13:5 and Jos 1:5
Praise God on your journey!