Liz,
I am new to the forum too and I still have to introduce but your post title gripped my heart I had to come read first. What a blessing to see the reponse of folks here. I see many care very much with a genuine love. And I am so thankful for the freedom here that you can share who you really are.
There are so many Bible verses and lessons that want to pour out of me at the moment but I will simply encourage you with the following, which is a wonderful promise of God:
"For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." Matthew 7:8
I want to encourage you to seek God for who He is, Liz, not who you think he might be. Just like how we desire to be known for who we are. God is a real person and desires that you know Him for who He is. You said it honestly, you really don't know and that is the best place to be.
It is better to admit that you don't know rather than having preconceived ideas of who you think God is. As you get to know Him in His word, my dear friend, you in for an incredible discovery. So keep knocking, keep seeking He will open your understanding to behold great and mighty things,
"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not."Jeremiah 33:3
What a promise, Liz, to behold God, who you knew not. I am excited for you. You have a promise by which you can know this great God who is so majestic, yet so humble for it is He that is seeking you (see Luke 15:3-32)
Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words! They mean the world to me! I hope to keep in touch