In love with the unknown

[SilverStars]

In love with the unknown

Well, maybe I should start out with the story here.

I met someone on a forum through a debate topic, and our conversations left the forum and we started talking A LOT on MSN messenger. I mean everyday hour long conversations. I have never met him outside the internet, or talked with him through the phone or anything like that. A friendship online doesn't seem too harmless right? Weeeeeeell, we've been friends for almost two years now, and it has become obvious that I have started to fall for him.
I really liked this new feeling but I'm afraid of it because I do not know who this person really is. He had given me a phone # and my dad is looking into it(due to the fact that he has a friend who can do that stuff ) and we can learn if this boy, well, really is only two years old than myself and not some person trying to mess with me.
I don't know what to do. I was told that giving my heart to him is a dangerous thing because I don't know him! After talking with my parents about it I know, and they know, that I am indeed falling in love. It's been weeks(alomost a month) since I gave my dad the # and I have heard no information what so ever. I don't know what to do.
I want to call him and figure all of this out because my feelings are ready to burst and I need to know the truth. I've been praying everynight but maybe I'm not praying for the right things.
I thought falling in love for this first time was going to be great but honestly I'm just scared, confused, angered, but so happy at the same time. I mean I hate these feelings but I don't want them to go away either. Is there any advice you all can give me?
(sorry if this was too long but there is a lot in this mind XD)

 

[Padelford]

I wouldn't get into a real big relationship with him. I know alot of people who have a Girlfriend/ Boyfriend at school and on the internet. I think that having a relationship online would be pretty weird since you don't know each other but I realise that any girl I spent alot of time with and talk to alot I develope feeling for. This leads me to belive that, quoting myself on a myspace blog, "Love= Caring about someone more than you care about most other poeple" so I guess it would be okay. I bet the older members will give you a good answer though that might actually have quotes from the bible.

 

[Struick]

I wouldn't get into a real big relationship with him. I know alot of people who have a Girlfriend/ Boyfriend at school and on the internet. I think that having a relationship online would be pretty weird since you don't know each other but I realise that any girl I spent alot of time with and talk to alot I develope feeling for. This leads me to belive that, quoting myself on a myspace blog, "Love= Caring about someone more than you care about most other poeple" but I don't know. I bet the older members will give you a good answer though.

Well, Padedelford, you summed it up pretty good.
I got noting to add to it.

 

[Pastor Gary]

As most everyone here knows, I was in Law Enforcement for 21 years before becoming a Minister. Speaking as a former Deputy Sheriff Sergeant and Tactical Team Training officer, I can only say that IF you wish to continue this internet romance in real life, that the first several meetings in person be chaperoned by parents from both families. There are preditors on the internet that pretend to be something that they are not, JUST to gain access to personal data and to take 'liberties' with those that they contact. They will role-play in order to get 'friendly' and then they will use their convincing words to exploit and to harm. Use extreme caution because internet preditors are very good at what they do and MANY deaths each year are attributed to them after internet liaisons become real life confrontations.

Since you have mentioned this to your parents, have them do a background check on the person just to make certain that this is legitimate. And, again, have an adult from your family with you during any initial personal contacts. This is for YOUR personal protection and safety.

 

[Boanerges(Inactive)]

I agree with all the above statements- use extreme caution SilverStars- as a dad it makes me ill to realize how many evil people are trying to gain access to your children for the wrong reasons - this may not be your case BUT USE ADULT SUPERVISION until you know what is what!

 

[Struick]

The question remains:

How can someone fall in love without meeting the other party in person.

Beats me.
Maybe I'm old fashioned.

 

[Boanerges(Inactive)]

Have you ever seen a picture of this person? If he sends you a picture of Brad Pitt or someone else that looks just like a movie star it may not really be him - just kidding

 

[Struick]

I have heard about these internet love affairs before......some married people got their marriage messed up because of it. It seems to be a common thing these days. Maybe those relationships were of track to begin with, but it all sounds weird to me.

 

[Bassmasa]

SilverStars,

Just be careful. I think if you told the person that your parents will be involved in the initial discussions or meetings, that would be very telling. If "he" objects, you can be certain his intentions are not pure. If he's OK with it, then proceed with EXTREME caution if you're parents are on board. Like Pastor Gary says, there are tons of creeps out there posing; there have been many arrests in my community recently.

And, Struick:

The question remains:

How can someone fall in love without meeting the other party in person.

Beats me.
Maybe I'm old fashioned.

I have three close friends that have all met their spouses online and are now happily married. Two of the couples are Christians, the other is not, but for some people, the lack of pressure during the initial part of relationships is wonderful. The two Christian guys were so incredibly shy around women and the internet was great for their personalities. In fact, there's another couple at our church that I've been friends with for months before finding out they originally met online.

I think it's like money--it can be used for good or evil, just depends on the user.

 

[Boanerges(Inactive)]

"Just be careful. I think if you told the person that your parents will be involved in the initial discussions or meetings, that would be very telling. If "he" objects, you can be certain his intentions are not pure"
This is wise counsel Bassmasa!

 

[SilverStars]

Meeting him is sort of hard since he lives pretty far away from where I do, but do you think if I tell him how my parents feel about the situation it will help any?

 

[mustardseed]

I think you should tell your parents. Being in love with a person you've never met before is neither unreal or unnatural but you just have to be careful. Also, it is also hard to discern whether you really like this person, because some people seem to be nicer online. I mean, they only show one side of themselves. Not that they do it on purpose, but sometimes, people are so stressed in their daily lives that they seek escapism online, and they'll tend to change their image a bit to live a life they can't in reality. I myself feel that it's easier to be nicer to everyone online.

The important thing is, you'll have to meet up with him frequently (preferably with your parents as it's safer) to really get to know this person up close.

 

[Boanerges(Inactive)]

It is most unfortunate that many people don't show who they are to hide evil intentions-use wisdoma and caution until you really know who you are dealing with .