God bless you. Just remember you don't have to get yourself together first, just trust God for what he says. When saved you are already perfect in Him (in His Holy Spirit) and it is a lifelong process to put away self more and more and walk in God's Spirit fully. The key is having faith in what God has done for you and made you, not in perfecting your old self. God see's you as righteous because you are in Christ now, not because you do everything correctly.
"On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you" (John 14:20). God sees you through Jesus, that is the new creation. He is not looking at the old sin self that has been buried.
All you need is faith and commitment to that faith in what God has done for you.