Is It Sinful to Dislike Someone?

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bobinfaith

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Hello brothers and sisters;

As Christian men and women we've all experience someone that we "don't like," whether in the past or current.

We've all been there.

We are also taught the fundamental teaching in Matthew 22:37-39, 37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ - NKJV

But that alone is a challenging discipline in itself.

Christians struggle with distinguishing between loving your neighbor and disliking your neighbor and this puts a strain with understanding both.

What are your thoughts and Scripture used to understand what Jesus teaches about loving and liking or disliking.

More to come...

Bob
 
2 Timothy 3:1-5 tells us to avoid certain people...

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2) People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3) without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4) treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5) having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

Romans 12:18 18) If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

God knows that not everyone is peaceful, we are to try to be at peace with everyone. There are some, who will not like you no matter how nice you are. I met a guy once that didn't like another co-worker because he was always nice to everyone. I think when we look at 2 Timothy 3 we see a pretty accurate description of people today. It is ok to not like some people, but we are still called to love them as Jesus loves us.
 
I think sometimes it is a bit difficult to discern the difference between a person and deeds. Deeds do define a person but they are only actions generated by a spirit. The soul and spirit are two separate entities. I don't believe a Christian would enjoy (bringing them satisfaction) seeing any soul in torment.
Even Jesus drove out the money changers, standing against the behavior and yet dieing for the sinner.
 
LearningToLetGo said:
Loving does not mean like. To love is to maintain another's best interest at all times, to support and build up. It has nothing to do with personal feelings.
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Dave F. said:
2 Timothy 3:1-5 tells us to avoid certain people... But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2) People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3) without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4) treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5) having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. Romans 12:18 18) If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. God knows that not everyone is peaceful, we are to try to be at peace with everyone. There are some, who will not like you no matter how nice you are. I met a guy once that didn't like another co-worker because he was always nice to everyone. I think when we look at 2 Timothy 3 we see a pretty accurate description of people today. It is ok to not like some people, but we are still called to love them as Jesus loves us.
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When we like or dislike someone is a feeling. Loving another is unconditional in a relationship.

I'm not referring to avoiding certain people who may live a lifestyle that takes away God's glory. Stay with me on this.

I was to taught to love my brother and sister but it's ok not to like someone. I stood by this teaching from the Bible for years. It was easy to align Scripture according to liking and disliking.

Christians can struggle with how to go about applying the application of love for one another and dislike for others. We always start with loving everyone as Christ commanded us. Along the way we learn about people's personalities, their habits and behavior that we cannot control. It can change our view of them and result in disliking them.

I can still love them but for others I don't have to like them or hang out with them. In the Biblical context they are labeled my enemy. Then I came remember this passage in Luke;

In Luke 6:32-36, 32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the selfish. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. - RSV

I came across a guy and we had a bitter exchange. We apologized and shook hands grudgingly and for the next two years we co-existed in peace but it really wasn't peaceful. Of course, the love of Christ was in me toward him but I didn't like him nor wanted anything to do with him.

So I prayed for him, even though I didn't want to and when we crossed paths there was still a wall. Then one day, out of nowhere we had a friendly encounter, (I don't remember the situation) but it brought us to a point of reconciliation. Was this God led? I have to believe.

We got past it and today are having friendly conversations about sports, health, our faith, etc...There isn't a drop of dislike toward this man.

God's unconditional love toward each of us is powerful and can supersede the unlike that we may have toward another.

The part about hanging out, or going out for coffee or lunch may not be right away but it's a lot closer than the position of unliking another.

Your thoughts?

More to come...
 
Dislike can take many forms. I am sure that I am not universally liked, and there are a few people I can remember that really got my emotions going.

Having feelings of like and dislike is very human.

My wife & I are dealing with on of life's personal and family tragedies. And tempers and emotions are running high. Lots of hurt feelings and demands. We know that not everyone will be pleased.

The things to consider include
> How do I respond? -- How should I respond?
> Is there something in me (that does or should shame me) that the other person brings from within in me?
> How do I show Christs love in this case?
> How important is it really to have my view prevail?
 
It is a great life matter discussion topic. I personally want to agree that we can dislike someone as a human. Why? You might have come across in life that you don’t like her/him. This doesn’t mean that you want this person to completely perish? NO! We are born-again believers, devoted to the Lord, but we live in a world full of sins, and your natural sin still exists and that is fighting to overcome you every day.

I will tell you from my experience. There was a girl who is my close relative and she is problematic to everyone. She has problems everywhere she lives or stays with people. We have to be very careful when talking or doing some work with her. She will not respect whether a person is elder, pastor, or any kind of person.

She is a telltale person and has a habit of criticizing people harshly. You don’t have anything to do, but the problem comes to you itself. Suppose she creates some problem for you with someone, and that person misunderstands you. She scolded me on the phone 4-5 times, even came to my home, shouted at me, and created some problems, that is frequently.

One example; On my marriage programme, my wife and I agreed to select 4 ushers; 2 boys and 2 girls. Then, we selected her to be an usher. My wife’s family side didn’t know anything about her. During the service hour, she asked them to shift the seating, acted weirdly, and it was frequent. So they later got angry, and the wedding program was almost destroyed. My wife and I were in tears. My parents and all my siblings were in tears. They slapped my brother. I was not very happy, but I forgave her for everything. Then, the next year, she created another big problem that I don’t know.

I personally dislike her, but that doesn’t mean I want her life to be perished. One day, I heard that she was very thin and suffered from TB (Tuberculosis) and other diseases. I felt pity for her and prayed for her frequently. Because I love her, but I dislike her. I’m scared of talking with her, knowing that she might create some problem again.

When we see the life of Jesus on earth, He disliked people who always saw bad things in Him, who were not followers of Him, and those who wanted to destroy His plan. He said, “Woe to you!”

That doesn’t mean that Jesus didn’t love them, but He disliked their attitude toward Him.
 
Siloam said:
Dislike can take many forms. I am sure that I am not universally liked, and there are a few people I can remember that really got my emotions going. Having feelings of like and dislike is very human. My wife & I are dealing with on of life's personal and family tragedies. And tempers and emotions are running high. Lots of hurt feelings and demands. We know that not everyone will be pleased.The things to consider include
> How do I respond? -- How should I respond?
> Is there something in me (that does or should shame me) that the other person brings from within in me?
> How do I show Christs love in this case?
> How important is it really to have my view prevail?
Click to expand...
Mei Kor said:
It is a great life matter discussion topic. I personally want to agree that we can dislike someone as a human. Why? You might have come across in life that you don’t like her/him. This doesn’t mean that you want this person to completely perish? NO! We are born-again believers, devoted to the Lord, but we live in a world full of sins, and your natural sin still exists and that is fighting to overcome you every day. I will tell you from my experience. There was a girl who is my close relative and she is problematic to everyone. She has problems everywhere she lives or stays with people. We have to be very careful when talking or doing some work with her. She will not respect whether a person is elder, pastor, or any kind of person. She is a telltale person and has a habit of criticizing people harshly. You don’t have anything to do, but the problem comes to you itself. Suppose she creates some problem for you with someone, and that person misunderstands you. She scolded me on the phone 4-5 times, even came to my home, shouted at me, and created some problems, that is frequently. One example; On my marriage programme, my wife and I agreed to select 4 ushers; 2 boys and 2 girls. Then, we selected her to be an usher. My wife’s family side didn’t know anything about her. During the service hour, she asked them to shift the seating, acted weirdly, and it was frequent. So they later got angry, and the wedding program was almost destroyed. My wife and I were in tears. My parents and all my siblings were in tears. They slapped my brother. I was not very happy, but I forgave her for everything. Then, the next year, she created another big problem that I don’t know. I personally dislike her, but that doesn’t mean I want her life to be perished. One day, I heard that she was very thin and suffered from TB (Tuberculosis) and other diseases. I felt pity for her and prayed for her frequently. Because I love her, but I dislike her. I’m scared of talking with her, knowing that she might create some problem again. When we see the life of Jesus on earth, He disliked people who always saw bad things in Him, who were not followers of Him, and those who wanted to destroy His plan. He said, “Woe to you!” That doesn’t mean that Jesus didn’t love them, but He disliked their attitude toward Him.
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Good morning, Siloam and Mei;

Likes and dislikes take on many forms and instances in each of our lives. I have my share and ask all of us; Do we remain with an indefinite dislike for others, or is it in fact their behavior or sin that God does not condone? Being rude and throwing darts and arrows at us is not condoned by God. So is it the behavior or sin or the person in general that we dislike?

God bless you all.

Bob



 
I note that Paul acknowleged that He encountered problems with some others. Take a look at 2nd Timothy Chapter 4.

As Paul requests a visit from Timothy, he descies his standing alone:

2 Timothy 4:10-16
10 ..Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica; Crescens has gone to  Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia.
11  Only Luke is with me. Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service.
12 But Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus.
13 When you come bring the cloak which I left at Troas with Carpus, and the books, especially the parchments.
14  Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds.
15 Be on guard against him yourself, for he vigorously opposed our teaching.
16 At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them.

Note that although Paul has reason to complain, he prays that their actions not be held against them.

Taking Paul's reaction as example, we can see that a clear eyed assessment does not mean pretending that everything is fine when it is not, but Paul's probable distaste of those that were not there when he needed support was not taken as a personal affront. But will let the Lord decide just response, as in the case of Alexander the copersmith (V14).
 
Too many times the old man inside us struggles to keep old grievances.

I just got back from the funeral of one of my wife's brothers. He faced a lot of trials in his life (losing Kidney, etc), coming to a tragic end (injured leg -> "wet" gangrene -> hospital amputation -> did not recover from operation.

A failed marriage years ago led to estranged sons. the son that stayed with the father did not get along with the son that stayed with the mother.

The brothers had little to say to each other as we laid their father to rest, which was its own tragedy.

BUT...

I did notice that their little girls struck up a conversation and I heard them talk about visiting and going swiming together and the fathers seemed to encourage that. So the family has a chance to turn thins around, at least in that respect).
 
bobinfaith said:
Christians struggle with distinguishing between loving your neighbor and disliking your neighbor and this puts a strain with understanding both.
Click to expand...
there is always a battle of the flesh ..there are people i simply do not care to be around.. honestly they get on that last nerve i have left.. i do no not wish the ill will or anything bad for them. some just simply leave a bad taste/ iode effect. one thing we can not do is halte our neighbor to the point of unforgiveness .
that causes a root of bitterness to spring up a tool of satan.

a scripture came to my mind last night .

Ephesians 4:32
​

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,( the reason why ) even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you..

i would like to come back to this alter on.. other wise it will become a rabbitat chase in the morning message ( everyone of us deals with this very thing ) if you say you dont the altar is open....amen
 
To dislike someone is human; we cannot possibly like everyone in our range of acquaintance. That's impossible. However, a line is crossed when dislike turns into despise. Despising a person is the first step to hating which is the step leading to murder. Disliking is not sin, but despising is.
 
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