I've Got retirement all figured out..... LOL
Subject: I've got retirement all figured out!
> No nursing home for us We are checking into the Holiday Inn!
> With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per
>day, there is a better way when we get old & feeble. We have already
>checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay
>discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a
>day for: breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room
>service. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a
>swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have
>free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
>
> $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to
>help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
> There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The
>handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
>
> To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
>
> For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at
>one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly
>somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
>
> It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will
>take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever,
>you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see
>Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
> TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
>problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
>
> The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The
>maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or
>an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip,
>and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
>
> And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad
>to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
>
> The grand kids can use the pool.
> What more can you ask for?
>
> So, when we reach that golden age,
> we'll face it with a grin.
> Just forward all our email to:
>
>
Subject: I've got retirement all figured out!
> No nursing home for us We are checking into the Holiday Inn!
> With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per
>day, there is a better way when we get old & feeble. We have already
>checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay
>discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a
>day for: breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room
>service. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a
>swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have
>free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
>
> $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to
>help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
> There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The
>handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
>
> To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
>
> For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at
>one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly
>somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
>
> It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will
>take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever,
>you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see
>Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
> TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
>problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
>
> The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The
>maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or
>an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip,
>and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
>
> And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad
>to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
>
> The grand kids can use the pool.
> What more can you ask for?
>
> So, when we reach that golden age,
> we'll face it with a grin.
> Just forward all our email to:
>
>