Jokes About Germans

Winnetou

Inactive
Jul 7, 2012
19
3
3
65
Germany
I am, so a German I can tell this joke:

Jesus frequented a hospital. There are a Frenchman, an American, a Scotsman and a German in the hospital. "I can cure all of you if you want", said Jesus. The Frenchman: "I have severe pains in the arm". Jesus touches his arm and the arm is healthy again. The American: "My back is so painfull for me". Jesus touches his back and the American does not have any pains. The Scotsman: "I have stomach ache". Jesus touches his belly and the Scotsman is well again. Jesus then turns round to the German. The German says: Not touches me merely "! I am certified as ill for four weeks "!
 
  • Like
Reactions: chili
May 30, 2012
367
120
43
50
Missouri - USA
I am, so a German I can tell this joke:

Jesus frequented a hospital. There are a Frenchman, an American, a Scotsman and a German in the hospital. "I can cure all of you if you want", said Jesus. The Frenchman: "I have severe pains in the arm". Jesus touches his arm and the arm is healthy again. The American: "My back is so painfull for me". Jesus touches his back and the American does not have any pains. The Scotsman: "I have stomach ache". Jesus touches his belly and the Scotsman is well again. Jesus then turns round to the German. The German says: Not touches me merely "! I am certified as ill for four weeks "!
That was funny! It seems maybe laziness is not exclusive to Americans!? :D
 
Jul 22, 2010
3,147
1,274
113
74
Australia
I'm an ozzie, retired, and complain to my doctor because I can't get a certificate for time off work anymore.
 
May 30, 2012
367
120
43
50
Missouri - USA
I hope that my translation was okay. English isn't my mother tongue.

It's not so bad...I followed very well with your English, until the punch line... but I figured it out pretty quickly and nothing was lost! Perhaps another way of saying the last line would have been: Don't touch me! I've got a doctor's certificate that says I'll be sick for another 4 weeks! Funny! :)

Alas, I only have one "tongue," English. I admire the abilities of those that can speak 2 or more languages!