55Dodge-
Yes, I grew up as a kid pretty thru tough circumstances. But, God taught me this- I never had to worry about pleasing other people or seeking thier attention. They did not save me from eternal death, God the Father did. So, I was to seek to please God first, then He would take care of my needs.
God taught me to only be concerned with seeking His approval of me, no others. People can have an effect on my life right now, but God has control over my future life of eternal existance. So, who should I seek more and pay more attention to?
Like me, many have saught to be accepted by others in past years. But, I haven't needed that for years now. I've learned, it does not matter if people accept me or not. Its if God does. Besides, I don't want my witness to be for others to accept me, but accept the God who healed me. The God who gave me an eternal peaceful loving future existance to look forward to. Why?
Because God "Loved" me enough to allow His only begotten Son to be sacrificed for me. And Jesus was sacrificed for you too.
As a Minister, during younger years, God has Blessed me many times to be involved with other's family Members who were saved and reborn, and lived horrible physical lives of pain and suffering. As some wre dieing, they were still joyful, yet crying, saying they prayed they had been the witness God had wanted them to be thru all that. That God was seen thru them instead of any edifying of thier own.
This changed my life in itself. I now was only concerned with being the best witness I could be for God, and what others said or thought of me, mean't nothing. But only that they might say they saw God thru me is all.
I would rather be meek and weak, that God could show thru me more, than be strong and bold, for people to think better of me. Thats why, very little if anything anyone could say to me, would ever negatively effect me.
I'm the creation, God is the creator. So, what am I compared to Him? Thats why its better others see Him rather than me, that God can be Glorified and I not noticed.
I've learned, I don't need nor want to be edified, but only God to be Glorified. It is my wish, that if anyone remembers me at all, its only because it was God noticed as my life, provider, protector and Leader, as my creator and Lord and Savior.
Thus, what others think or believe of me makes no difference. God has healed the hurt and rejection I felt so long ago, and replaced it with His Love for me to stand on over and above all things. Knowing now, it has been Satan, not people trying to destroy me all along.
The people I held things against in the past, I found I didn't have to forgive, because the hurt, anger and hate were gone. My saved and reborn Nephew and his wife have told me many times, thier folks and other relatives, could not understand the change in me how I related to them after a certain point.
I loved and cared for them out of the blue instead of hating them as before. I understood it wasn't those people who intentionally tried to hurt me, but were influenced by Satan to think and operate as they had. From there on, I battled Satan directly instead of trying to deal with people.
I pray this helps.
God Bless!!