Learning to Trust Him

After all these years, and with the background I tote about, you'd think I'd have mastered "trusting Him." I'm not always that good at it. I've had a lot on my plate (especially these past 10 years as a caregiver for a disabled wife) to challenge me, and it's not as easy as it looks (to "trust").
In my "quiet time" this morning, I was reminded yet again about "trust" when I re-read thru that portion of Scripture where Jesus confronts the Apostles with the question, "will you also go?" To which (as I'm sure you recall) at least one if not all said, "Lord, to whom would we go?!"
My wife gets ready to fly to Florida on Sunday, to visit with her 9o year old father. She is struggling deeply with the thought of his soon passing. He hasn't been in the best of health in the last year or two. This will be her third time down there this year. I drove her down (we drive down once a year, typically; me doing all the driving) twice already this year; once in January and once in March, sacrificing four weeks of Vacation (willingly, I might add), leaving me with three days for hunting this fall if I go at all.
As I sit here this morning, ready to go grocery shopping when she tells me "it's time," I am reminded that I am so often a "Peter" in my reaction to life. I'm the one that would jump up and grab the sword and start swinging. At least that's the way I USED to be, most often. But the Lord's been doing a work in me in the last ten years, since the onset of my wife's "M.S." Little by little, bit by bit, I'm learning patience, hope, how to encourage from the right reference points, ...........I'm learning many lessons. Among which is "trust."
Last evening we went to one of our grandsons PeeWee Baseball games. He's only six. In the outfield, where he is often sequestered (lol) the little fella gets bored (they all do). His arms come out of his sleeves; he sits and picks clovers..............if the ball fell at his feet, well, I have confidence that he would react, but............
After the game, when the wife and I got home, it was one of those perfect summer evenings. Not too hot, nor cold; no humidity. We sat and talked and shared. Then she looked at me directly in the eyes and said, "no matter what; will you trust Him?" There's that word again. "Trust." It seems to come up a LOT lately. It's as if God is trying to prepare me for whatever is coming.
I hesitated for only a couple of seconds. I have learned to NOT be a "Peter" and knew that I should take a moment and do an honest assessment of my soul. They say that every time I get on my motorcycle, I should take a second to settle myself before I twist that throttle, and they are right. "Yes, I will trust Him no matter what," I said. I was thinking of the response the Apostles gave to Jesus. To whom WOULD I go, otherwise?! Who else has my eternal soul under their care? Who else can give me hope for eternity?! No one.
For the next two weeks, I'll be "batching" it. Cooking for myself (my wife is a supreme cook, and I am only a meat-n-potatoes guy), taking care of the house and animals myself. I've been in this situation before, but I don't like it. After 38 years of marriage, I'm used to having her along; used to being a duo. Sure, I can go into the woods alone for the "hunt," but not for long. Missing my right arm, always brings me home earlier than I was required to. Devoted? yes! Absolutely! Lonely without her? You bet!!
Welcome! I found great encouragement in your introduction. It reminds me of the past few years. And specifically when God asked me if i trusted Him to take care of me. It truly is a process of learning and the end result is to have peace in the midst of whatever storm is passing our way.
I will be praying for you and your wife. Grace and peace be yours in abundance!
Hi Steve, Welcome to CFS! Thank you for sharing your story. I have been learning about trust lately myself, so I can definitely relate. I have learned a lot about increasing my faith in my short time here at CFS, and Fish Catcher Jim has been a big part of that. I am certain that your time spent here will be a blessing, as it is for me. I look forward to getting to know you!
@Steve Campbell
Greetings and Welcome to this awesome and loving family here at CFS. I pray that your time here will be as close to BLESSED AS MINE HAS BEEN AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE.

I know it gets hard dealing with MS but I urge you to stay close to our Lord God and Build your Faith Strong and un-movable and be the shining light and love that your wife has always seen in you and depends on. One of my most dearest and loving friends has battled Lupus/Ms and more and I know how it gets.

With all that said kick off your shoes and make your self at home here and pick up some good ol fellowship with brothers and sisters who love God whole heartedly. Oh and if you have any issues or problems, remember the staff here for they are thee most wonderful brothers and sisters around and will do what ever it takes to make things right for you.

Again Soupy, Welcome and thank you for joining our family here at CFS
God Bless You