Love that is able to withstand every pressure is out of your reach, as long as you're only looking within yourself to find it. You need someone who can give you that kind of love. "Love is from God" (1 John 4:7). And only those who have allowed Him into their heart through faith in His Son, Jesus - only those who have received the Spirit of Christ through belief in His death and resurrection - are able to tap into love's real power. "Apart from me," Jesus said, "you can do nothing" (John 15:5).
God was willing to love you even though you didn't deserve it, even when you didn't love back. This means you now share this same love with your spouse. You can love even when you're not loved in return. You can see all their flaws and imperfections and still choose to love. And though you can't meet their needs the way God can, you can become His instrument to meet the needs of your spouse. As a result, he or she can walk in the fullness and blessing of your love. Now and till death.
Those who approach God in utter dependence each day for the real needs in their life are the ones who find out just how dependable He is. Can your spouse give you an inner peace? No. But God can. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).
Our love for each other is supposed to be how people distinquish us as Christ's disciples (John 13:35). It is the root and ground of our existence (Ephesians 3:17), meant to be expressed with passion and fervency (1 Peter 4:8). It is a quality that we are to "abound" in more and more (1 Thessalonians 3:12), always getting better at it, becoming increasingly defined by it.
Marriage is made up of many things, including joys, sorrows, successes, and failures. But when you think about what you want marriage to be like, the furthest thing from your mind is a battelground. However, there are some battles you should be more than willing to fight. These are battles that pertain to protecting your spouse.
Lust is in opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden. And for a believer it's the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others. That's because every object of your lust - whether it's a young coworker or a film actress, or coveting after a half-million dollar house or a sports car - represents the beginnings of a lie. This person or thing that seems to promise sheer satisfaction is more like a bottomless pit of unmet longings.
If there is to be any hope for your marriage, forgiveness is a challenge that must absolutely be taken seriously. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage won't.
Love doesn't pass the blame easily or justify selfish motives. Love is not nearly as concerned with its own performance as with others' needs. When love takes responsibility for its actions, it's not to prove how noble you've been but rather to admit how much further you have to go.
You must realize that marriage is a relationship to be enjoyed and savored along the way. It's a unique friendship designed by God Himself where two people live together in flawed imperfection but deal with it by encouraging each other, not discouraging them. The Bible says, "Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble" (Isaiah 35:3). "Encourage one another and build up one another....Encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone" (1 Thessalonians 5:11-14).
Even when your mate's stress comes out in words of personal accusation, love shows compassion rather than becoming defensive. Love inspires you to say "no" to what you want, in order to say "yes" to what your spouse needs.
Being able to wake up knowing that God is your source and supply - not just of your own needs but also those of your spouse - changes your whole reason for interacting with your mate.
Father, Son, and Spirit are in pristine unity. They serve each Other, love each Other, and honor each Other. Though equal, they rejoice when the Other is praised. Though distinct, they are One, indivisible. And because this relationship is so special - so representative of the vastness and grandeur of God - He has chosen to let us experience an aspect of it.
Unity is a marriage quality to be guarded at great cost. The purpose of "leaving," of course, is not to abandon all contact with the past but rather to preserve the unique oneness that marriage is designed to capture. Only in oneness can you become all that God means for you to be.
Oneness is a hallmark of every marriage. In the act of romance, we join our hearts to each other in an expression of love that no other form of communication can match. That's why "the marriage bed is to be undefiled" (Hebrews 13:4). We are not to share this same experience with anyone else.
Our bodies are made for each other. Our natures and temperaments provide balance, enabling us to more effectively complete the tasks at hand. Our oneness can produce children, and our teamwork can best raise them to health and maturity. Where one is weak, the other is strong. When one needs building up, the other is equipped to enhance and encourage. We multiply one another's joy and divide one another's sorrows.
What more could we want for our wife or husband than for them to experience God's best in life? Be happy for any success your spouse enjoys. But save your heartiest congratulations for those times when they are honoring God with their worship and obedience.
Read a portion of the Bible every day. Ideally, read it together as husband and wife in the morning, perhaps, or before bed. Be like the writer of Psalm 119, who could say, "With all my heart I have sought You...Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You" (Psalm 119:10-11).
If someone told you that by changing one thing about your marriage, you could guarantee with near 100 percent assurance that your life together would significantly improve, you would at least want to know what it was. And for many godly couples, that "one thing" is the daily practice of praying together.
