dear forgiven wretch; these are too true!!! it would be helpful and healthy for marriages to learn from the wisdom (yes wisdom!) of some of these quotes...I have been married for about 9 1/2 years and happily married for about 4 but expect the remainder to just keep getting better!!! I enjoyed singlehood and appreciate marriage more because of it but I appreciated singlehood having been married before...so I appreciate both but enjoy marriage more.1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
that is fair...we just don't see it as being a natural thing to have the seat up.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
Emotions from women are seen as manipulative because they have more control of the tear-producing glands.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
So true, so true, so true.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Another wise thing to think about.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
This is only fair; women should only fight or discuss THEN, not hold it to another day if possible...it is only fair, men do not usually have the same memory capacity as women as it is.
1. If you think you're fat, or something makes your butt look too big, you're probably right! Don't ask us
1. If something we said can be interpreted two waysand one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
There is more wisdom in this than most people could begin to know.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.
Again, fairness is a great motivator for communication...
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, Golf or Nascar.
1. You have enough clothes.
Oh, you might not have heard that when women say that they have nothing to wear they mean they have nothing that FITS, when a man says it, he means he has nothing that is CLEAN.
1. You have too many shoes.
Mine would agree with that and he would be correct also...he says, I only have two feet what do I need more than one pair of shoes for???
1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -to give them a bigger laugh. maybe a little eye-opening too.