My ex hired my daughter to work in one of the stores he oversees - even tho it is against company policy, he did manage to get it okay'd.
Then he started her working in the store a mile from his apartment. So she was getting more hours and she began spending more time at his house to save on miliage.
Needless to say she has spent more time there then at home this summer. I have gotten the impression from others that they think she lives there, so I asked my daughter if that is what she would like. She said diffinitely, "no", but this has gone on all summer and three times people have made comments and three times I have asked and three times she has said she does not want to live with her dad.
In addition, her father takes her on fun trips and it seems to be one big party for her when she is not working.
I have been concerned because he is not a responsible parent and when he has trouble he calls me and expects me to fix everything (and be the disciplinary)
Anyway, she will be 17 in a couple months and I don't feel there would be much point in arguiing if she wants to live there. But yesterday I felt very stressed out over it because altho it is fun for her with no respponsibility other than getting to work on time, I really don't think it is the best situation for her.
So, I thought, why am I stressing and I prayed to God. I told Him how I felt and turned the situation over to Him.
This morning I got another call about the problems he is having and I was compassionate and understanding but told him I can't parent from a distance. I told him she doesn't listen to or respect him (which he already admitted) because he doesn't follow thru. In her mind it is a case of dad said, but it's just empty threats.
I told him he needs to deal with the situation and I will not take responsibility for what happens in a situation I have no control over. I told him I can't tell her anything because if she lives there and he doesn't follow thru then she will also lose respect for me and think she doesn't have to listen to me. I told him what I would do, which usually goes in one ear and out the other, and to my surprise, he talked to her and she said she was coming home.
I'm happy that she is home, but now I need to decide how this new issue will be dealt with.
He is trying to get me to do what he is afraid to do. To be fair, he is stuck in a bad spot because he is both father and boss.
But i am not going to parent his style.
Then he started her working in the store a mile from his apartment. So she was getting more hours and she began spending more time at his house to save on miliage.
Needless to say she has spent more time there then at home this summer. I have gotten the impression from others that they think she lives there, so I asked my daughter if that is what she would like. She said diffinitely, "no", but this has gone on all summer and three times people have made comments and three times I have asked and three times she has said she does not want to live with her dad.
In addition, her father takes her on fun trips and it seems to be one big party for her when she is not working.
I have been concerned because he is not a responsible parent and when he has trouble he calls me and expects me to fix everything (and be the disciplinary)
Anyway, she will be 17 in a couple months and I don't feel there would be much point in arguiing if she wants to live there. But yesterday I felt very stressed out over it because altho it is fun for her with no respponsibility other than getting to work on time, I really don't think it is the best situation for her.
So, I thought, why am I stressing and I prayed to God. I told Him how I felt and turned the situation over to Him.
This morning I got another call about the problems he is having and I was compassionate and understanding but told him I can't parent from a distance. I told him she doesn't listen to or respect him (which he already admitted) because he doesn't follow thru. In her mind it is a case of dad said, but it's just empty threats.
I told him he needs to deal with the situation and I will not take responsibility for what happens in a situation I have no control over. I told him I can't tell her anything because if she lives there and he doesn't follow thru then she will also lose respect for me and think she doesn't have to listen to me. I told him what I would do, which usually goes in one ear and out the other, and to my surprise, he talked to her and she said she was coming home.
I'm happy that she is home, but now I need to decide how this new issue will be dealt with.
He is trying to get me to do what he is afraid to do. To be fair, he is stuck in a bad spot because he is both father and boss.
But i am not going to parent his style.