Ok so basically I have a lot of hate and fear in my heart... I don't want to go into specifics but yeah... Trust me I don't want to be this way but I can't help it. This world is too crazy and I know I need to change myself or else I'm just a hypocrite but idk how to get rid of this hate and fear. I want to be like Jesus to the point that even if I were on the cross I wouldn't be wanting to kill the people who put me there. Instead atm I just feel uncontrolled wrath. I also don't want to have this fear in my heart and be worried about persecution. I know it will happen b/c Jesus and his apostles are proof of that. Sure, idk if I will ever have to go through that level of persecution and I hope I never have to, but who says it won't happen someday? How can I not be fearful of that level of pain and suffering and how can I not hate the people who commit these acts? These 2 things have been major problems of mine for a while and I just want to get rid of these negative feelings. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.
dear GiL (God is Love),
in reading your post,
i am reminded of the terrible struggles
i've experienced over the decades
in being a Christian:
pride, lust, anger, fear/anxiety, bitterness, etc.....
so, you 'need to change yourself',
ain't gonna happen friend.
you can't change yourself
anymore than you can create
an oak tree out of an acorn.
submit your mess,
you laughingly call your Christian life to Jesus.
He's the Savior.....(as in, you're not....lol)
God sees the desire of your heart
and that desire is to honor Him.
be patient, my friend.
God is more than able
to do that huge 'cleanup' job
that's got to happen in you.
He loves you desperately
and wants you to shine for His Son.
been there, still doing that.....carla