I want to reveal something about myself that I think is appropriate. My testimony began nearly 4 decades ago because I was raised around Christian influence and church from before I could crawl. I have crib memories of meetings of the future church organization before they moved to a building from a finished basement. If tenure was rank in Heaven I would be doing pretty good. The only problem is I was being raised a Pharisee and judge of sinners. I wasn't aware of it at the time and until recently didn't even know it existed in me.
Now, judging the sin of a believer is one thing and the Bible tells us to warn the believer if they are wandering off the path but I judged everyone. In the church I thought I had to be the at the top and seen or God must want me somewhere else. I was one arrogant somebody. I critiqued every sermon, every teacher, every greeting, every song, every prayer by the standard that I established. God surely was impressed with me, right?
I attended various churches and regardless of how they taught or what they accomplished is was never enough for me. and I always found a way to blame it on them. I have done some spiritual maturing since then but I am new to not being a Pharisee. The only thing I wish had been different is that someone in one of those churches had called me out on it and gave me a piece of their mind. I might still have left that church but I did anyway but not one person warned me that I was a Pharisee and that my behavior was destructive to the church.
I squandered opportunities to witness to people, stand in coveted roles of the church, establish life-long relationships, build up the body of believers, etc. All because I was more focused on my standard rather than God's standard. Now, when I see that behavior in other people I don't just stand by and write it off as 'one day they will learn' - I confront it. It may make them mad and they may depart fellowship but it would be better to lose one than to allow them to destroy God's work in whatever capacity that may exist. Meek is not weak and I encourage you if you spot a Pharisee in your fellowship call them out on it.