How will you know if one is being judgmental if they quote the word of God? No one is perfect, save Jesus alone. It is through Him that we are seen as He is seen. The word of God is our owner's manual so to speak. It is God's way of showing you the right way to go in all situations. But you have to want to believe that, otherwise you'll continue just as you have been. We're hear to help, but with 41,000 Christian denominations, you'll have to expect 41,000 opinions. I'll give you the scriptures and my thoughts and it's up to you to accept them or not. I want you to succeed, Jesus came and died for you, why would He not also want you to succeed. The truth hurts; so does surgery to fix a problem. Are you prepared?