New to the group......how much help has this group been to you?

Hello all, married over thirty years to the same woman. I still need advice from time to time. How has this group been helpful to YOU? I have joined another site like this a few years back, with barely any response from its members. Very discouraging, so I left.
 
Since I joined this group I've been challenged to support my ideas and beliefs with scripture, this has helped me grow in many ways. It has changed the way I discuss with others.
I have reached out to other members with prayer requests and others have reached out to me. It is a loving community and I pray you find it to be one as well. Welcome
 
Hello all, married over thirty years to the same woman. I still need advice from time to time. How has this group been helpful to YOU? I have joined another site like this a few years back, with barely any response from its members. Very discouraging, so I left.
This forum has members with differing beliefs on many doctrines.. It is nice in many ways.. For every question, you would get response from different perspectives.. It is a great place to post questions.. And the forum is pretty active as well..
 
Hello all, married over thirty years to the same woman. I still need advice from time to time. How has this group been helpful to YOU? I have joined another site like this a few years back, with barely any response from its members. Very discouraging, so I left.
I've found encouragement, fellowship, Bible education and a better understanding of where differing views come from and how they originated. But the thing I value the most is fellowship.
Welcome! I look forward to seeing you in the forums!
 
Hello all, married over thirty years to the same woman. I still need advice from time to time. How has this group been helpful to YOU? I have joined another site like this a few years back, with barely any response from its members. Very discouraging, so I left.
Welcome :)

If you have not done so as of yet please read CFS forum rules and getting started threads here

http://www.christianforumsite.com/categories/your-welcome-pack.104/
http://www.christianforumsite.com/categories/getting-started-learn-how-to-use-your-account.101/

Again, Welcome to CFS (y)

Well I came here to have fellowship, learn, and share... it's been so great they made me a mod! :whistle:
 
Hello RadioActive,

I'm still in the stage of getting acquainted to this forum. However I would like to say that the quality of a forum is based on the quality of its members. From reading a few presentations and from hearing the tone of the comments left by forum members, I feel this is a nice forum to be a part of.

And by the way, congradulations for your 30 years of faithfulness to your initial wedding vows. There are a few of us on this forum in a similar situation. We may be thankful to God he blessed us in this way.

Welcome to the forum.
 
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Hello all, married over thirty years to the same woman. I still need advice from time to time. How has this group been helpful to YOU? I have joined another site like this a few years back, with barely any response from its members. Very discouraging, so I left.

You sure will receive responses from the members here.
A warm welcome by the way.
 
After my initial post, my wife and I started a series of arguments. They included a dialog of divorce, and quite frankly, I sought comfort elsewhere. I really thought I was going to leave her, the pressure was too great.

We are still together, but not as happy as I want to picture marriage. I really am struggling with loving her. She is NOT submissive and very strong-willed. I am staying for the sake of the children. She drove me away by constant arguing and negativity. My parents fought ALL MY time at home, and I told her that I will not experience that for the rest of my life.

I have broken off any extra relationships, confessed it before God. I am forgiven, but will not share it with her. I'm moving on, trying to repair our marriage.

This is certainly not new to the forum, and it here to listen.
 
As Christians we live for God and must '''always''' look at our lives through His eyes.

Your wife is staying with you ...YOU are Christian = she accept Jesus = always hope of peace / change / better times.

When we count too many ''I's'' and ''Me's" in our posts = pride / selfishness / trying to find our life. We need to always remember Matt 16:25.

YOU draw closer to Jesus and things get better or God removes them. We do NOT do the removing / running! We died when we converted to Christianity. Christianity = we live for God NOT ourselves.

Praying for you!
 
Hello RA

My wife and I spent a number of years in a situation that could be described along the general lines of what you are experimenting, although we both remained faithful to one another. We tried very hard to get things fixed but never seemed to suceed somehow. So after a certain time we just let go of the issues that bothered us, and both agreed to disagree, so to speak, no longer really trying to fix anything.

In 2008 I was asked by my supervisor to hire someone to replace me on my job because I wanted to take another responsibility at work. As it turned out, I trained this person and worked alongside her for six months and we stayed friends afterwards, and had her in my home a couple of times. She was a Christian from a different branch of the Church than mine.

She was one of the means God used in my life to think through what the basis of my faith had been, and eventually, to identify an area of my life I had let myself slip into. The Spirit of God made it clear to me that He wanted me to repent from it now. The impression left on me by this realization was so clear. I became convinced I needed to make a choice right there and then. So I did, immediately.

What followed was a series of circumstances I cannot explain really well, where I went from the position of one who feels a victim of circumstances as if they were a prison of a spiritual nature, to one who knew he was God's Son, Christ's co-heir, a prince under the authority of Christ. It became clear to me that I could call upon my Father and receive answers to my petition in resisting whatever temptation were before me. I am not saying here that I became sinless. What I am saying is that I became a warrier against the forces of darkness. I remembered who I was in Christ, and I began to be much more efficient in turning immediately to my source of strenght for fighting sin.

What I just said became the basis for a new outlook in my relationship to my wife. My wife saw me changing too. Our adult children who were no longer living at home at the time and both had carreers of their own began to tease my wife and I. They said things like, «Mom, dad is dragging you, and you don't even see it». As far as I was concerned I began to pray to God for my wife everytime she did or said something that I did not like. I began bathing her in prayer, and what she eventually told me is that she felt loved and accepted.

Eventually – within the same year of 2008 – our children began to tease us in the following terms : «You are really strange. It seems as if you both believe the other one has no faults at all. You are like youg lovers who just met. You are suffering from blink love». As I write this in 2014 my wife and have enjoy a very good relationship, which was not always the case through the years. So when I say to anyone I feel the joy of Christ and His peace within me now, these two event related just above are always in the background.

And people in our Church who have known us for many a years have said that the changes they saw in us as couple has encouraged them greatly in not loosing hope that God can work in their lives too in ways that they had began to despair would be possible. I have been reading through and stuydying the epistles of Peter these past few months. And this week as I was paying closer attention to First Peter chapter 5 verses 6 to 11, it struck me that the prowling evil-one had tried to destroy me, yet had failed. I am thankful to my Father.

As I conclude this post, I am raising my heart in prayer on your behalf, RA, as well as on the behalf of all who struggle along the lines described in your post number 13 of the present thread, and who happen to read the present post.

I am praying that God will use the present post for providing some measure of hope. I am praying that the Holy Spirit will perhaps lead you to the right people, or that He will bring home to you some passages of Scripture in such a way that it will help you understand your own situation in a better light. I am praying that He will enable you to trust Him for the enablement required to set things right in your own heart, so that you will know how and want to restore whatever needs to be, both in relationship to your wife and to your God.
 
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As Christians we live for God and must '''always''' look at our lives through His eyes.

Your wife is staying with you ...YOU are Christian = she accept Jesus = always hope of peace / change / better times.

When we count too many ''I's'' and ''Me's" in our posts = pride / selfishness / trying to find our life. We need to always remember Matt 16:25.

YOU draw closer to Jesus and things get better or God removes them. We do NOT do the removing / running! We died when we converted to Christianity. Christianity = we live for God NOT ourselves.

Praying for you!
Thanks KJ. I really didn't take time to count the "I's" in the post.
 
After my initial post, my wife and I started a series of arguments. They included a dialog of divorce, and quite frankly, I sought comfort elsewhere. I really thought I was going to leave her, the pressure was too great.

We are still together, but not as happy as I want to picture marriage. I really am struggling with loving her. She is NOT submissive and very strong-willed. I am staying for the sake of the children. She drove me away by constant arguing and negativity. My parents fought ALL MY time at home, and I told her that I will not experience that for the rest of my life.

I have broken off any extra relationships, confessed it before God. I am forgiven, but will not share it with her. I'm moving on, trying to repair our marriage.

This is certainly not new to the forum, and it here to listen.
Hang on brother! We will pray for you.. The unanimous voice of the brothers here is going to be - Do not leave!! Because that would be never God's will.. Never..

I have been married only for <5 years. So I am not going to try and advice you. Probably you have seen way more than me! But one thing I can firmly say is, divorce is not God's will in your case.
 
T
Hello RA

My wife and I spent a number of years in a situation that could be described along the general lines of what you are experimenting, although we both remained faithful to one another. We tried very hard to get things fixed but never seemed to suceed somehow. So after a certain time we just let go of the issues that bothered us, and both agreed to disagree, so to speak, no longer really trying to fix anything.

In 2008 I was asked by my supervisor to hire someone to replace me on my job because I wanted to take another responsibility at work. As it turned out, I trained this person and worked alongside her for six months and we stayed friends afterwards, and had her in my home a couple of times. She was a Christian from a different branch of the Church than mine.

She was one of the means God used in my life to think through what the basis of my faith had been, and eventually, to identify an area of my life I had let myself slip into. The Spirit of God made it clear to me that He wanted me to repent from it now. The impression left on me by this realization was so clear. I became convinced I needed to make a choice right there and then. So I did, immediately.

What followed was a series of circumstances I cannot explain really well, where I went from the position of one who feels a victim of circumstances as if they were a prison of a spiritual nature, to one who knew he was God's Son, Christ's co-heir, a prince under the authority of Christ. It became clear to me that I could call upon my Father and receive answers to my petition in resisting whatever temptation were before me. I am not saying here that I became sinless. What I am saying is that I became a warrier against the forces of darkness. I remembered who I was in Christ, and I began to be much more efficient in turning immediately to my source of strenght for fighting sin.

What I just said became the basis for a new outlook in my relationship to my wife. My wife saw me changing too. Our adult children who were no longer living at home at the time and both had carreers of their own began to tease my wife and I. They said things like, «Mom, dad is dragging you, and you don't even see it». As far as I was concerned I began to pray to God for my wife everytime she did or said something that I did not like. I began bathing her in prayer, and what she eventually told me is that she felt loved and accepted.

Eventually – within the same year of 2008 – our children began to tease us in the following terms : «You are really strange. It seems as if you both believe the other one has no faults at all. You are like youg lovers who just met. You are suffering from blink love». As I write this in 2014 my wife and have enjoy a very good relationship, which was not always the case through the years. So when I say to anyone I feel the joy of Christ and His peace within me now, these two event related just above are always in the background.

And people in our Church who have known us for many a years have said that the changes they saw in us as couple has encouraged them greatly in not loosing hope that God can work in their lives too in ways that they had began to despair would be possible. I have been reading through and stuydying the epistles of Peter these past few months. And this week as I was paying closer attention to First Peter chapter 5 verses 6 to 11, it struck me that the prowling evil-one had tried to destroy me, yet had failed. I am thankful to my Father.

As I conclude this post, I am raising my heart in prayer on your behalf, RA, as well as on the behalf of all who struggle along the lines described in your post number 13 of the present thread, and who happen to read the present post.

I am praying that God will use the present post for providing some measure of hope. I am praying that the Holy Spirit will perhaps lead you to the right people, or that He will bring home to you some passages of Scripture in such a way that it will help you understand your own situation in a better light. I am praying that He will enable you to trust Him for the enablement required to set things right in your own heart, so that you will know how and want to restore whatever needs to be, both in relationship to your wife and to your God.
Thanks DG, this was very helpful. I've put the past where it belongs, hopefully not to return. Still, there are feelings of marrying the wrong person. Now I realize what "Irreconcilable differences" mean.

I can say more, but not sure what this forum can handle.

Thanks again.

I'm now self conscious on how many "I's" I'm using in my posts.
 
T

Thanks DG, this was very helpful. I've put the past where it belongs, hopefully not to return. Still, there are feelings of marrying the wrong person. Now I realize what "Irreconcilable differences" mean.

I can say more, but not sure what this forum can handle.

Thanks again.

I'm now self conscious on how many "I's" I'm using in my posts.

"marrying the wrong person" it will be a long comment..... next time : )

but on "irreconcilable differences"....

that will include a blood brother…or a biological parent…

We cannot choose our brother, we cannot choose our parent: we WORK it out, regardless of differences…

and I think, in human relationship: Wife is in higher hierarchy than a brother, than a parent?

thus, I think, she (the wife) deserves to have the relationship WORK it out those differences more than a brother, or a parent....
 
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