When we are used to doing things our way or by our "rules" it's hard to accept grace...and know how to rely on God to help you.
I remember a time when God was trying to help me change all my "rules." I felt so scared, because it felt as if i had no floor to stand on. So it took quite a long time, and someone walking by my side to support me, but I finally was able to grasp God's ways of doing things. And now i have a foundation in God that He helped me to build.....and it's fully peaceful and a lot easier....until i try to get my flesh to do something it does not want to do...yikes talk about falling and tripping and such...like learning to walk all over again
Keep your chin up! And have patience with yourself and God.