My dear brother......RELAX! Take a deep breath.
I had it done 25 years ago and it is a no brainer, no problem event. The local is extremely effective and Because you "feel" does not mean you will hurt. When you go to the dentist, you know he is working in your mouth but you also know that you are in no danger of pain or problems.
Buck up and think of your wife. Just do it and you will not be sorry.
Well if you are not man enough to get it done maybe this fellow can help you. Looks like he is experienced.
My advice still is to not do it at all and for each of you to accept one another as you are. But I will certainly pray for you both as maintaining a marriage is a noble and important duty.