People Related Question

T

TransformedinChrist

Does anyone else experience difficulty with people wanting too much? I find sometimes people either expect too much or cling on too hard. I like my boundaries. They are to be respected and I view them as healthy. I find at times getting too personal can be such a hazard and cause turmoil.

Because of this I have had to step away from people. I have very few friends in my circle for this reason. I like the friends I have. Once I feel people are trying to swallow my entirety of my energy, emotions and time - I distance myself.

Has anyone experienced this?


Warmly in Christ.
 
TransformedinChrist said:
Does anyone else experience difficulty with people wanting too much? I find sometimes people either expect too much or cling on too hard.
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Hello TransformedinChrist;

I'm dealing with a similar and difficult situation right now. Since I returned last November 10 from a mission trip in Romania and Ukraine, I thought I could rest and enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family end of 2022. But it's been up and down with one thing after another involving people and life situations leading up to March 2023.

After encouraging a believer to give thanks to the Lord for everything He has provided, spiritual growth, ministry, family, physical healing and needs provided, it fell short. It was not enough and after I pointed all this out I could discern a hardened wall in this believer's heart. So we went into prayer, hard prayer. I knew I could not convince or change the attitude of this believer but I have all the faith our God can break down the inner cup of this believer's heart and bring perspective and spiritual healing.

As believers, it doesn't matter who or what we do for Christ, we are in the people business, of introducing Christ to them or consistent uplifting of one another daily. We must be careful we don't take the place of God, but we can be that salt and light to one another.

As believers it doesn't mean we are going to live a perfect careful life of smooth sailing. We will encounter challenges, both spiritually and physically. Question is, how do we respond?

For me personally, my life has it's share of issues with the most undesirable people and places always crossing my path. I do get weary. (Look at Jesus' example.) Turn the tables around, I wonder how many consider me unbearable to be around? But what sustains me is knowing that no matter what, God is with all of us who believe and can fill us with a spirit of resilience, to press on through everything.

Getting back to the People Related Question, God allows us to have our boundaries and still love others while getting out of God's way, letting them go. But for many of us as Christ followers, whether we have many or few friends, God will put difficult people in our lives for His glory. I have my share of difficult people in my life right now. I cannot change them but I can be a sprinkle of salt, love them and for others plant that seed. Then get out of God's way as He waters the seeds and changes hearts.

God also tends to me. Each day I ask Him to guard my heart and tongue toward others. It's not easy but God is so much greater than difficult or easy.

We all have boundaries and God permits that. Jonah is a good example and we have all studied how God used His servant to deliver His message to a very difficult people.

God bless you, TransformedinChrist, and thank you for sharing this thread.







 
bobinfaith said:
Hello TransformedinChrist;

I'm dealing with a similar and difficult situation right now. Since I returned last November 10 from a mission trip in Romania and Ukraine, I thought I could rest and enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family end of 2022. But it's been up and down with one thing after another involving people and life situations leading up to March 2023.

After encouraging a believer to give thanks to the Lord for everything He has provided, spiritual growth, ministry, family, physical healing and needs provided, it fell short. It was not enough and after I pointed all this out I could discern a hardened wall in this believer's heart. So we went into prayer, hard prayer. I knew I could not convince or change the attitude of this believer but I have all the faith our God can break down the inner cup of this believer's heart and bring perspective and spiritual healing.

As believers, it doesn't matter who or what we do for Christ, we are in the people business, of introducing Christ to them or consistent uplifting of one another daily. We must be careful we don't take the place of God, but we can be that salt and light to one another.

As believers it doesn't mean we are going to live a perfect careful life of smooth sailing. We will encounter challenges, both spiritually and physically. Question is, how do we respond?

For me personally, my life has it's share of issues with the most undesirable people and places always crossing my path. I do get weary. (Look at Jesus' example.) Turn the tables around, I wonder how many consider me unbearable to be around? But what sustains me is knowing that no matter what, God is with all of us who believe and can fill us with a spirit of resilience, to press on through everything.

Getting back to the People Related Question, God allows us to have our boundaries and still love others while getting out of God's way, letting them go. But for many of us as Christ followers, whether we have many or few friends, God will put difficult people in our lives for His glory. I have my share of difficult people in my life right now. I cannot change them but I can be a sprinkle of salt, love them and for others plant that seed. Then get out of God's way as He waters the seeds and changes hearts.

God also tends to me. Each day I ask Him to guard my heart and tongue toward others. It's not easy but God is so much greater than difficult or easy.

We all have boundaries and God permits that. Jonah is a good example and we have all studied how God used His servant to deliver His message to a very difficult people.

God bless you, TransformedinChrist, and thank you for sharing this thread.

I have learned alot over the years. Yes God allows situations for us to know, grow and go in spiritual gifts and discipleship. However we cannot be "god" to anyone - we have to be wise not to encourage codependency and nuture an appetite for constant enabling behaviors which are self seeking. Having been educated, certified in trauma courses as well as being a past survivor I believe that we can move past the "victim mentality." It is when people aren't ready or willing to. I would like to link this Q&A by Pastor Brandon - he is excellent with explaining just what the impact of sin. As I stated early there are consequences for behaviors that result in harmful actions to oneself and another. Q&A Wednesday Pastor Brandon I used to believe it was Christ-like to contiune the constant cycle of spiritual vomit that I endured by people like this until I realized that I needed to get out of the way and allow God to contiune to work in their lives. We can forgive the person, don't condone the sin. The sin always has to be address and dealt with. Warmly
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I have learned alot over the years. Yes God allows situations for us to know, grow and go in spiritual gifts and discipleship. However we cannot be "god" to anyone - we have to be wise not to encourage codependency and nuture an appetite for constant enabling behaviors which are self seeking. Having been educated, certified in trauma courses as well as being a past survivor I believe that we can move past the "victim mentality." It is when people aren't ready or willing to. I would like to link this Q&A by Pastor Brandon - he is excellent with explaining just what the impact of sin. As I stated early there are consequences for behaviors that result in harmful actions to oneself and another. Q&A Wednesday Pastor Brandon I used to believe it was Christ-like to contiune the constant cycle of spiritual vomit that I endured by people like this until I realized that I needed to get out of the way and allow God to contiune to work in their lives. We can forgive the person, don't condone the sin. The sin always has to be address and dealt with. Warmly in Christ.
 
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TransformedinChrist said:
I have learned alot over the years. Yes God allows situations for us to know, grow and go in spiritual gifts and discipleship. However we cannot be "god" to anyone - we have to be wise not to encourage codependency and nuture an appetite for constant enabling behaviors which are self seeking. Having been educated, certified in trauma courses as well as being a past survivor I believe that we can move past the "victim mentality." It is when people aren't ready or willing to. I would like to link this Q&A by Pastor Brandon - he is excellent with explaining just what the impact of sin. As I stated early there are consequences for behaviors that result in harmful actions to oneself and another. Q&A Wednesday Pastor Brandon I used to believe it was Christ-like to contiune the constant cycle of spiritual vomit that I endured by people like this until I realized that I needed to get out of the way and allow God to contiune to work in their lives. We can forgive the person, don't condone the sin. The sin always has to be address and dealt with. Warmly in Christ.
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Hello, TransformedinChrist;

I feel we both posted the same thing and are in accord. We cannot be god, take the place of God or get in God's way when it comes to people and our witness.

God bless you, sister.
 
So drawing back with what I posted yesterday. I had a friend whom we were very close. Things started to get odd and weird. Because of past things I have learned, I take people at face value for the time being but when repetitive cycles start to happen ie: ignoring messages, not addressing issues or concerns, seemingly being insensitive, oversharing, so forth, secretly hiding things - all signs I need to withdrawal.

One of the biggest hardest battles I face is seeing it but not truly accepting what's really happening. Making excuses, putting the fault on me, analyzing if I am seeing it for what it is, am I discerning appropriately the situation and what are the fruits of the Spirit?

It is truly amazing when there are destructive behaviors and people truly believe that they can contiune to practice or further contiune it [all the while pretending it's not really happening and you aren't really seeing it]. Further still when they lay the grieve down so thick that you no longer can converse with them due to the constant cycles of repetitive behavior [I do not keep people of that nature in my life - trying to figure them out, watching, reading between the lines, walking on egg shells and difficult to gage the entire situation that has no security or consistency].

Character is incredibly important with integrity. Although it wasn't all bad. As time went on there was alot of violation of trust and collateral damage being done. Last thing we want is to hurt each other. I have release this situation to God fully. I don't understand why or how it changed but it did. I getting the response I did - too familiar with the past cycles I have experienced and lived in as a child and onward as a young adult.

Warmly in Christ.
 
TransformedinChrist said:
Does anyone else experience difficulty with people wanting too much? I find sometimes people either expect too much or cling on too hard. I like my boundaries. They are to be respected and I view them as healthy. I find at times getting too personal can be such a hazard and cause turmoil.

Because of this I have had to step away from people. I have very few friends in my circle for this reason. I like the friends I have. Once I feel people are trying to swallow my entirety of my energy, emotions and time - I distance myself.

Has anyone experienced this?


Warmly in Christ.
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Yes, and for me, i'ts about not wanting to engage in someone else's drama or anyone getting involved in mine. We all want to help others and receive help if we can, but like bobinfaith says we can't become their saviours or ask any one else to be ours.. I know there is a definition of some people called highly sensitive people and I can identify with this label, may be prone to this. It may have been instilled in my upbringing as "women must always be 'ON" and help every time. NO!!!! that is a lie!!! because we then can encourage people to rely on us and become helpless and it becomes an unhealthy dynamic. If there is no separation between my stuff and your stuff and you sort yours and I sort mine then all hell breaks loose ive been there

❤️ blessings and good thread thanks❤️
 
Via dolarossa said:
Yes, and for me, i'ts about not wanting to engage in someone else's drama or anyone getting involved in mine. We all want to help others and receive help if we can, but like bobinfaith says we can't become their saviours or ask any one else to be ours.. I know there is a definition of some people called highly sensitive people and I can identify with this label, may be prone to this. It may have been instilled in my upbringing as "women must always be 'ON" and help every time. NO!!!! that is a lie!!! because we then can encourage people to rely on us and become helpless and it becomes an unhealthy dynamic. If there is no separation between my stuff and your stuff and you sort yours and I sort mine then all hell breaks loose ive been there

❤️ blessings and good thread thanks❤️
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I really liked your post. Ty.
 
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