Please help me with my friend!!! :(

Please help me with my friend!!! :(

sorry for the inconvenience, this post has been deleted.


This does sound very distressing. It is always a point of sorrow when someone makes poor choices. Our sins always affect more than just us. (See two posts of mine: It Will Be Worth It All and Of Lice And Sin.

I always advise young people not to get involved in cross gender counsel. Boys should not counsel girls and vice versa. My advice to you is to pray for and seek a responsible adult (youth leaders are good) of the same gender, who can talk to your friend. You may want to meet with this person first and allow them to read your letter to give them a good idea of what is going on.

Typically, when a girl gets involved with a boy in this manner, there are many problems, not just a relational problem with the boy. So the answer is not to have her quit this one relationship. The other, deeper problems will continue to grow like a weed, popping up in other relationship difficulties.

Lord, help CD to find a responsible adult to confide in and and who will confront this friend. Amen!

Thank you Mark for answering my thread. I was contemplating on even giving her that letter. apparently alot of people have talked to her and nothing has happened. she doesn't go to my church, so i rarely even see her. i don't know anyone who i can talk to who will be able to see her, unless i give them her address and get them to talk to her, but then she'll be talkin to a complete stranger and may become angered by the fact that i spoke to someone else about it.

I just started to read a book called "I kissed Dating Goodbye" from Joshua Harrison about both your relationship with God and with other people. I have read another book called "Every Young Man's Battle" from Steve Arterburn and Fred Stoeker about your relationship with God and how to fight against sexual temptation. after i finish "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" i will try to begin reading "Boy Meets Girl" from Josh Harrison. I don't yet know the full indepth idea of what it's about, but it was referred to me by my youth pastor.

I really wish she could read these books, i truly do. i don't have the money to pay $15 a book and just give it to her and hope that she reads it. i wish i did though, because i'm almost sure it would greatly help her.

Again, thanks for your response, i got a similar one from a psychologist friend of mine who simply told me to just be her friend. that's difficult to do because i hardly EVER see her. i maybe see her once or twice a month, if that.

I don't think i was only shocked by this, i guess i kind of felt 'betrayed' inside. I don't know why i would be feeling betrayed, but i do. I don't look for girls to just go out with, i look for someone to marry, and she was one of them. i looked up to her, and others, and then i find this out, and it saddens me to tears to think that she fell into this. i want to help her so bad, but there's practically nothing i can do, just pray.


Some people like to "rescue" others. It is a wonderful gift - one that will push you to do something when others give up. Unfortunately, this gift (as with all gifts) comes with a down side. Some times you can't rescue the other person - but you desperately want to. This places you in a difficult, even depressed place. But, you can pray!

Does this girl attend church somewhere? If yes, is there a youth pastor at that church?

Also, the books you mentioned are great books! I have 4 children and all have committed to not date through high school. My son who just graduated from college says HS dating is only preparation for divorce and that girls are not meant to be tried on like shoes. Funny how my wife and I put an idea in their heads and now my children are more conservative on this idea that I am!
That's funny, i as at a Disciple Now meeting and our college guy said teh same thing (which is when i decided i would stop) his name was Mike (lol, like you care :p).

Um, all i know is that Melanie has been talked to by family members, even her pastor, and yelled at everyone of them. she won't listen. i am praying, along with others, and i just pray that God will help her. i don't know, i've never felt this way about anyone, but when found out she was going through that, it just hit me in the face several times like a sack of bricks layered with a silver caseing...hard.

I'm going to rewrite the letter and add my name in it, incase she does want to talk afterwards. if my friendship with her is broken because of this, i'll do everything i can to mend it, but, as i am not the one who will have broken it, i just pray that some day she'd come back and we can be friends again. thanks for your help, you have no idea how much it's helped me.

oh, those aren't the only books i'm reading, here's a list:

'Every Young Man's Battle' (read it already but gonna read it again)
'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' (read some of it, really good)
'The DaVinci Code: A Quest For Answers by Josh McDowel (haven't read that one yet)
'The Last Christian Generation' (Havn't started that one either)

I'll be getting two more books soon, one about the Ten Commandments in the court house adn another called "Boy Meets Girl". I also have a book i'm reading (not christian) called "The Holographic Universe".

These books are great and i hope that through them i can definetely show my faith in God but understand him in a whole new way.