Rough Days...

Why are there days I do so good with praying, and studying. Then other days I feel like I am condemned to Hell fire. I get so frustrated because this world is so upside down and so are my emotions. I lament over the tough days and don't feel worthy. I also question if I am worthy. Worthy of his Grace and Mercy. I have fallen short MANY times and I keep getting up and pushing forward. I believe with all of my heart Yeshua is who He says He is.

I thought being a believer would make life easier, but it hasn't because I have bared my cross daily and some days it is hard to get back up. For years I backslid and went back to my old ways. I guess it was because I felt shunned by the Christian world with what the Lord has showed me over the years. I thought maybe I was wrong.

So many things I have been shown are linked together in ways I had no idea until it was revealed to me. I feel the sorrows and lement over them. I see the people being decieved by the wolves. Not just 1000's of people but Billions. My soul cries out and I have no way of fixing it. It is just like the days of Noah. I see the signs. Yet I still stumble. I have never cast out demons, healed the people, helped the widows or orphans. I complain and grumble if my wife needs something done. It is hard work being righteous when we are molded to the lies and ways of life that are no righteous.

Years ago I wondered why we didn't celebrate the feast and festivals, and it wasn't until recently that I have been celebrating the Shabbat on Friday through Saturday. I don't know enough about the ways of the Hebrews and I feel I need to know this to understand the deeper meanings behind the Lord our G_d. I need prayers for strength, courage and understanding.

If anyone else has had this same issue post yours. It could help me understand. Thank you for reading this post.
Brother you are not alone in what you are feeling. Lot, who lived in Sodom was distressed by what he saw and heard. It tormented his righteous soul. Not only did it grieve Lot, but also God himself, which caused him to destroy this city.

2Pe 2:5 if he did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a herald of righteousness, with seven others, when he brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly;
2Pe 2:6 if by turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah to ashes he condemned them to extinction, making them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly;
2Pe 2:7 and if he rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked
2Pe 2:8 (for as that righteous man lived among them day after day, he was tormenting his righteous soul over their lawless deeds that he saw and heard);
2Pe 2:9 then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment,

God gets so upset with what he sees, he has to turn from it, and not look at what is happening. In fact when he see evil he wipes his memory of those who are doing it.

Psa 34:16 The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
Psa 34:17 When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.
Psa 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

The only way to keep from getting upset is you have to learn to not look at the things seen, but only at the things not seen by faith, for they are eternal. It is only the good man out of the good deposit of his heart brings forth good things to pass. We are that good man, and that Kingdom of God that is inside us must come out of us to this earth. This only will happen if we keep our eyes on His Kingdom, that God's eternal power will work for us.