Seems Five Years Later and I Still Have an Issue With Going To Church!

naomanos

naomanos

My divorce went through in June of 2016 and my ex-wife obtained the final say on where our children attend church. The only church that she will let me go to with them is an independent Baptist church where she attends every now and then.

I myself prefer liturgical churches. I was a cradle Catholic that has left the church and will not go back. I have bounced around in other liturgical churches, but since have found a home in the Episcopal church, partly because that is what my girlfriend is and partly because it really does feel like home to me. My ex-wife will not allow me to attend an Episcopal church with my kids as she only likes the church that she goes to. With me getting the kids every weekend, that leaves out attending church for me.

It has been this way since about 2017. I still read my Bible at home, so there's that, but church attendance is null.

I realize that this is a way overdue update as the last time I posted was 2016, but I had forgotten all about this forum and just this morning came across it.
 
Nice to see you here. I'm fairly new to the site, but it is always nice to get to know others and their experience in this walk of faith.

I'll keep your situation in my prayers.

I had to look up what it means to be a liturgical church and found this:
www.crosswalk.com

What is a Liturgical Church?

If you're wondering what exactly is meant by the term "liturgical church," here's your answer.
www.crosswalk.com www.crosswalk.com
 
CPerkins said:
Nice to see you here. I'm fairly new to the site, but it is always nice to get to know others and their experience in this walk of faith.

I'll keep your situation in my prayers.

I had to look up what it means to be a liturgical church and found this:
www.crosswalk.com

What is a Liturgical Church?

If you're wondering what exactly is meant by the term "liturgical church," here's your answer.
www.crosswalk.com www.crosswalk.com
Click to expand...

That is a good representation of a liturgical church for sure.
 
naomanos said:
That is a good representation of a liturgical church for sure.
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Great to know. I've been to some liturgical churches, but never been a part of one.

Religion can be a source of division in a nation, society and even families as the past shows us clearly. Striving to follow God, learning to love and act in faith, I believe are what is important.
 
naomanos said:
My divorce went through in June of 2016 and my ex-wife obtained the final say on where our children attend church. The only church that she will let me go to with them is an independent Baptist church where she attends every now and then.

I myself prefer liturgical churches. I was a cradle Catholic that has left the church and will not go back. I have bounced around in other liturgical churches, but since have found a home in the Episcopal church, partly because that is what my girlfriend is and partly because it really does feel like home to me. My ex-wife will not allow me to attend an Episcopal church with my kids as she only likes the church that she goes to. With me getting the kids every weekend, that leaves out attending church for me.

It has been this way since about 2017. I still read my Bible at home, so there's that, but church attendance is null.

I realize that this is a way overdue update as the last time I posted was 2016, but I had forgotten all about this forum and just this morning came across it.
Click to expand...

The reason why your x does not want your children to go to church with you may be because you go to an Episcopalian church. She is Protestant and the Episcopal church is "real" close to the Catholic theology.

"Close" meaning that most Episcopalian churches also use rosaries, crosses, statues, and other symbols of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and the veneration of variouse saints.

Both also believe in the importance of child baptism, stating that it is the first step of salvation.

They also share certain sacraments such as the Eucharist. I have no idea, but that may be a starting point.

Why don't you try to attend a Protestant's church for a change of pace?????
 
Major said:
The reason why your x does not want your children to go to church with you may be because you go to an Episcopalian church. She is Protestant and the Episcopal church is "real" close to the Catholic theology.

"Close" meaning that most Episcopalian churches also use rosaries, crosses, statues, and other symbols of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and the veneration of variouse saints.

Both also believe in the importance of child baptism, stating that it is the first step of salvation.

They also share certain sacraments such as the Eucharist. I have no idea, but that may be a starting point.

Why don't you try to attend a Protestant's church for a change of pace?????
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I have been to them as well. They are great for people that like that sort of service, but I do not. For several years while we were married I looked for a church home, tried non-denominational churches, Baptist churches, Pentecostal churches. Didn't like any of them.

I have chosen the Episcopal church to belong to. That is where I want to be. It is what feels like home.
 
I have been told that God understands and I am not sinning in any way since it is pretty much out of my control. That the court made my ex-wife the decision-maker for their religious upbringing and not me.

If the shoe were on the other foot, I would not restrict her in any way on where she brought the kids to church.
 
Also, I just found out that she's getting re-married on Thursday via a Facebook post. I strangely do not know how to feel about her getting re-married.
 
Just an idea, but when we read Matthew 18:20 we see a possibility for y'all.

"20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

Since y'all have the youngin's each weekend, set aside one hour each Sunday morning and have a Bible reading session - kinda like Sunday School.

God bless ya and the kids.
 
PaducahLuke said:
Just an idea, but when we read Matthew 18:20 we see a possibility for y'all.

"20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

Since y'all have the youngin's each weekend, set aside one hour each Sunday morning and have a Bible reading session - kinda like Sunday School.

God bless ya and the kids.
Click to expand...

You mean me and the kids?
 
PaducahLuke said:
Just an idea, but when we read Matthew 18:20 we see a possibility for y'all.

"20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

Since y'all have the youngin's each weekend, set aside one hour each Sunday morning and have a Bible reading session - kinda like Sunday School.

God bless ya and the kids.
Click to expand...

That sounds like a great solution.
 
I have asked that of her before and she said no to that as well. I'm not their pastor from their church and I may teach them something that goes against what their church teaches.
 
Major said:
Then it seems to me that you have the answer.
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I do? If you're saying that I do the Bible reading with them when she has already said no, that goes against the court order saying she has the final say on religious upbringing.

I'm not sure what answer that I have.
 
naomanos said:
The only church that she will let me go to with them is an independent Baptist church where she attends every now and then.
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Was this the Court’s decision or a mutual agreement between the two of you?
If the Court, I guess you don’t live in the United States, otherwise the State shouldn’t have that jurisdiction.
If it was mutual, As the man, head of household, you should have the last say so.
 
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naomanos said:
It was in the divorce decree and because she is the custodial parent (she has them more time than me) by law it automatically goes to her for final decision. It's the same for their education.
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I’m not familiar with divorce decrees. Was that ordered by the Court? (I revised my post above before reading yours)
 
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crossnote said:
I’m not familiar with divorce decrees. Was that ordered by the Court? (I revised my post before reading yours)
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I am in the States, yes as I live in Florida. The divorce decree, I guess you can call it a court order essentially, lays out what is to happen in the divorce between the two parties. Who gets what, what responsibilities are doled out, etc.

Just because I am a man, it doesn't mean I get final say for my kids in the court of law. I know that sounds counter intuitive, but the person who gets them most of the time is the one that gets to make that decision. It never goes to the person who gets them the least amount of time. I understand why they do that. Why should the parent who gets them the least amount of time arbitrate what happens in the home of the one who has them the most?

I hope that makes more sense.
 
naomanos said:
I am in the States, yes as I live in Florida. The divorce decree, I guess you can call it a court order essentially, lays out what is to happen in the divorce between the two parties. Who gets what, what responsibilities are doled out, etc.

Just because I am a man, it doesn't mean I get final say for my kids in the court of law. I know that sounds counter intuitive, but the person who gets them most of the time is the one that gets to make that decision. It never goes to the person who gets them the least amount of time. I understand why they do that. Why should the parent who gets them the least amount of time arbitrate what happens in the home of the one who has them the most?

I hope that makes more sense.
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Yes that makes sense now. I was confused originally over this statement in the OP..."The only church that she will let me go to with them is an independent Baptist church where she attends every now and then."

Personally, I have been in both High Churches (liturgical) and Low Churches (Baptist-like), but if I had to choose, between the two, I'd go with low church, because the emphasis is on God's Word and it's teaching.

John 8:31-32 (NASB) So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."
 
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