Soul Searching

I never knew how dark and lonely life could seem. To be isolated in a state with no family or friends. My first child on the way which, I'm very excited about my baby boy. To have believed that when I met my now husband it was God's way of restoring everything I had lost in my 25 years of life. Only to discover everything that glitters isn't gold. I packed up my entire life and moved to where my husband is stationed. We got married and I conceived my baby boy. Seems like the proper steps in life to take. Except I have NEVER in my life been through so much pain and turmoil. He's like a bad spirit that has sucked the life out of me. The lies, deception, manipulation, infidelity, isolation, and pain I've endured only God can fix. I'm alive right now because I have a reason to live for my unborn child. After only 8 months of marriage and 3 months away from my child being born I've gathered the strength to say I love myself more than to allow anyone to treat me like this. Everyday it's a battleground in my mind wondering how will I make it!
 
I never knew how dark and lonely life could seem. To be isolated in a state with no family or friends. My first child on the way which, I'm very excited about my baby boy. To have believed that when I met my now husband it was God's way of restoring everything I had lost in my 25 years of life. Only to discover everything that glitters isn't gold. I packed up my entire life and moved to where my husband is stationed. We got married and I conceived my baby boy. Seems like the proper steps in life to take. Except I have NEVER in my life been through so much pain and turmoil. He's like a bad spirit that has sucked the life out of me. The lies, deception, manipulation, infidelity, isolation, and pain I've endured only God can fix. I'm alive right now because I have a reason to live for my unborn child. After only 8 months of marriage and 3 months away from my child being born I've gathered the strength to say I love myself more than to allow anyone to treat me like this. Everyday it's a battleground in my mind wondering how will I make it!
Welcome sweetkiwi to cfs! So good to have you here! Will be praying for you and your marriage and asking God to help you fight the good fight of faith, and defeat the devil who is trying to destroy you and your marriage. Plus praying for your strength.

Blessings of grace and peace be yours in abundance
 
CTurtle: Thank you! It means a lot that you took the time to read and respond. I'm glad you offered your prayers that's the best thing I need at this time. Prayers and support! I realized I needed to reach out for support online because support is needed when you are going through a storm. I've been so isolated and kept everything in for so long it feels great to release! Being in a military town with no friends or family isn't easy. He has all his military friends and I have nobody.
 
CTurtle: Thank you! It means a lot that you took the time to read and respond. I'm glad you offered your prayers that's the best thing I need at this time. Prayers and support! I realized I needed to reach out for support online because support is needed when you are going through a storm. I've been so isolated and kept everything in for so long it feels great to release! Being in a military town with no friends or family isn't easy. He has all his military friends and I have nobody.

I can fully understand. And if you need anything I'm just a pm away :)
 
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