I have found that my biggest challenge as a Christian is the invisible battle waged within my thoughts. The Bible beckons us to put on the full armor of God in order to protect ourselves from this spiritual warfare taking place within our minds. It is by far, the most difficult thing that I personally struggle with on this journey. I have collected several wonderful prayers of protection to help keep my mind safe from attack. I often have to stop and pray for God to circumcise evil thoughts and emotions from my mind, and to replace them with thoughts and feelings acceptable to the Lord. So subtle is this attack, that I am often unsure of which thoughts and feelings are being influenced by the evil one. This is not an arena where I can trust my meager human judgement to discern good from evil.
Unfortunately, we have also been raised in a society where what passes for acceptable really is not acceptable to God, but we may be unaware of this since this is all we have ever known. Our only guide is to read and know God's words and commands, and to let Him discern for us so that through prayer and attention to His voice we may know His will. For me, my means of safe-guarding my mind, is to remain constantly aware of the fact that this battleground exists within me, and to constantly pray for protection. I now understand fully why my uncle priest prays so often daily. I believe that he has four times set aside each day for deep, meditative prayer.
It has also been my observation that the closer I feel that I am coming to God, the harder the enemy attempts to unseat me. I've recently been through a terrible period of severe anxiety attacks after my mother died in my arms here in the kitchen. Most of these anxiety attacks are preceded by negative thoughts and ideas. To fight back, I've slowly learned to recognize these thoughts as they emerge, and then to pray to excise them from my mind, praying to God to put Satan behind me. There have been days where I've needed to perform this prayer dozens of times a day. It is a type of thought blocking, and as my uncle predicted, the evil one soon tired of trying and has left me alone more and more in this respect. But, I do not let down my guard. I am so grateful that God has helped me achieve some peace of mind. He also helped me to get psychological and medical help for this.
I am thankful that the Lord protects me from the evil that continues to try to disrupt my peace of mind. I know that without His assistance, I would be relegated to a life of constant mental misery. I correspond online with others who suffer similar conditions. They use the same medications and therapy that I do, but most of them are still suffering to the point where they are disabled and unable to leave their homes. I credit my ability to remain functional with the fact that God helps me. I wish I could share this with the others what I know, but they are not open or receptive to having God come into their lives, and I feel that because of this they are prisoners in their own homes and minds. All I can do is to pray for them as well as praying for myself. The battle is real and it exists within every single one of us. If I am not vigilant, the enemy immediately takes the opportunity to gain a foothold and attempts to undermine me from within. How fortunate we are to have God as our Father protect us either directly or by the tools given to us in the Word. Praise be to God!!!!
