I need prayer and Christian advice on some issues I'm dealing with concerning my husband and stepdaughter. She is 12 years old and lives out of state, and we have her for weekly visits about 4 times a year, as well as for one month in the summer. my husband and I also have a toddler boy of our own.
My dilemma is that I usually experience anxiety in the days leading up to her visit. My husband and I differ in our opinions of what should be allowed. She is 12 years old, has never stayed home alone before, and refuses to sleep with the lights off at our house. the times that my husband has insisted, she will come wake us up at 2 in the morning complaining that she can't sleep. So my husband allows her to sleep with the television on all night long, and she is allowed to stay up as late as she wants which usually ends up being about 3 a.m. she sleeps on the couch in our living room because we have recently moved and she does not have her own room. At our old house she did have her own room, but she never used it because she was afraid.
I have talked to my husband about this, but he doesn't see a problem. He feels that since it is summer time and she has no school, she can sleep in any way. I really believe it is because he doesn't know what to do either.
the other issue is her eating. She is extremely picky and will only eat pizza, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and sweets. And the chicken nuggets have to be from a fast food restaurant! in the past, my husband will stop and pick up a $5 takeout cheese pizza, which she will eat on for 2 or 3 days. I cannot believe this is what they permit her to do at home, but my husband says they do. I just can't stand this, what am I to do? Part of me says that I should let my husband handle it, but what about when my son is old enough to realize that she has rules about these things and she doesn't? plus I don't want to be the wicked stepmother, lately it seems like I'm the one ruining all of the fun.
when we were first married, my husband agreed with me and we tried to be strict about some things, but it seems however hard we try, she goes home and is allowed to revert to her old way of doing things and everything we have done feels like it comes undone. he is afraid that she will not want to keep visiting if he makes every visit a struggle.
I have prayed about this, but she is coming this weekend for another visit and I'm faced with the same old anxiety. I need some realistic solutions!
My dilemma is that I usually experience anxiety in the days leading up to her visit. My husband and I differ in our opinions of what should be allowed. She is 12 years old, has never stayed home alone before, and refuses to sleep with the lights off at our house. the times that my husband has insisted, she will come wake us up at 2 in the morning complaining that she can't sleep. So my husband allows her to sleep with the television on all night long, and she is allowed to stay up as late as she wants which usually ends up being about 3 a.m. she sleeps on the couch in our living room because we have recently moved and she does not have her own room. At our old house she did have her own room, but she never used it because she was afraid.
I have talked to my husband about this, but he doesn't see a problem. He feels that since it is summer time and she has no school, she can sleep in any way. I really believe it is because he doesn't know what to do either.
the other issue is her eating. She is extremely picky and will only eat pizza, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and sweets. And the chicken nuggets have to be from a fast food restaurant! in the past, my husband will stop and pick up a $5 takeout cheese pizza, which she will eat on for 2 or 3 days. I cannot believe this is what they permit her to do at home, but my husband says they do. I just can't stand this, what am I to do? Part of me says that I should let my husband handle it, but what about when my son is old enough to realize that she has rules about these things and she doesn't? plus I don't want to be the wicked stepmother, lately it seems like I'm the one ruining all of the fun.
when we were first married, my husband agreed with me and we tried to be strict about some things, but it seems however hard we try, she goes home and is allowed to revert to her old way of doing things and everything we have done feels like it comes undone. he is afraid that she will not want to keep visiting if he makes every visit a struggle.
I have prayed about this, but she is coming this weekend for another visit and I'm faced with the same old anxiety. I need some realistic solutions!