A lot of science really helps me see God. Like how someone, sorry forgot who, mentioned, 'just look at your thumb'. Well, you would have to be using your eye to do so. Just look at your eye, I know, how do you look at your eye? Sorry again, I have a little unusual sense of humor. But the human eye is an amazing thing. Also, when I see trees, plants, animals, humans, etc., i.e. creation, I see God all through it. And when I think about the sexes and how there is male and female for most animals and people. I sometimes chat with atheist, and if the topic goes towards evolution, sometimes I tell them they might be thinking with a monkey brain. I know, it might not be the most Christian thing to tell them, but I think it makes them re-think their position.
I know how one can be eager for answers, myself included. But I've found that life is a test, and God is letting this era run it's course. This world we live in has satan sitting on the thrown now, that's why a great many ugly things happen. This life is really short too, compared to eternal life, and those that get taken early, in some regards can be a blessing. Most of us will have another chance, provided we pass the test, judgment day, and choose Gods way. Trying to force faith almost seems to work negatively IMO. If I were you, I would continue to earnestly pray, and wait for Gods perfect timing, He will absolutely amaze you when He answers your prayers, if you don't already know this.
Yes, this nation is going down the toilet, for lake of better words. I don't expect things will be getting much better either. It makes me think of what I tell a person if I see them carrying a bible, 'That's a really good book, but the ending gets a little scary'. Yes, I'm still trying to work on my mouth and a little thing we call sarcasm.
So many religions- satan knows his time is short and he is busy going back and forth stirring up, yes, you guessed it, deceit. *grin*
Reading suggestions- Ecclesiastes, and an author named Max Lucado
When we die- it is my belief that God takes our spirit and stores it. Our spirit remembers everything about us, so when Jesus comes back, we can be resurrected just as we are/were, except satan will be bound and no longer a hindrance.