THE INNER ROOM - "Learn and Grow - to Maturity". Please read the 1st Post.

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Bondman,
The good news is that I did not panic when I read the news of no more new messages. I have not been here in a few days with so much going on in my own life, but very small compared to what is going on in yours. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the teaching you have done here even on days when you felt you could barely function. I cannot wait for the day that one day I will meet you in eternity.
Just relax and rest at his feet now. Enjoy the days with the Mrs. He is never done with us, he keeps shaping and molding us til the day we go to eternity.

My day at the Abbey was amazing.. I want to write about it but I have major deadlines for work and my job is on the line, so my days are spent keeping up there. There is so much of me that has changed over the past 2 years of coming to Batavia, but as I watched my testimony video last nite, I asked myself where did that one piece of me go.. the Joy piece, not that I have totally lost the joy, but I have let myself go.. ie gaining 30 pounds etc.. Alot of it had to do with my temperment as you taught me.

I bummed up the front of my car the other day, taking it in to shop today. My daughter gradauates June 10th. Please keep her in your prayers.
I love you! It has been amazing to see the transformation of me that Jesus has done through you.. gosh do you remember all teh PM's, emails etc.. wowee! Praise God, I ain't where I use to be, not quite there yet, but well on my way! Give my love and hug to the Mrs!

Love you bunches!
Robin (Faithwoman)
 
Thankyou, dear one!!

Those things you received through me were all from Him. You can and should have joy that nothing can affect. Are you doing too much? I can't keep up with you - always on the go.

Yes it's been an amazing couple of years for me, as for you. Yes I remember well all the emails. It's hard for me to believe that a little less than 2 1/2 yrs ago I wrote the 1st Inner Room Message, and have been going ever since. But it will take more than what I'm currently experiencing to knock me down.

Much love from us both!!

- BM

 
naturallinguist said:
Praying for COMPLETE healing for you, Bondman!

Dear Lord, your son needs you. You said that by your stripes we're healed. Lord, you are the God of miracles. Jesus touched the eyes of the blind and made them able to see. The shadow of peter passed over people and they were healed. We don't need to see you to know that you are the God of healing. Touch Bondman and his wife right now, in Jesus' name, and heal them from the crown of their heads to the sole of their feet. Give him strength and energy to do your work. Encourage his spirit and prepare him for the new thing you're about to do in his life. Thank you, Lord, that even across the internet you bring your people together. Thank you for holding up a standard of people who will stand for you even when others won't. Thank you for salvation and your blessings, new every morning. Lastly, thank you for hearing our prayer.

In Your Son's precious name,

Amen.
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Oh, that is so wonderful, naturallinguist!! Very special. Thankyou SO much!

I can't wait for complete healing which He's promised me, bringing us to health we've never experienced. I can't wait to be able to run and jump and do normal things that others do - and have ENERGY to do the things for the Lord that I so much want to do!!

Not that I'm unhappy with my lot, not at all. Like Paul I've learnt to be content with whatever situation I'm in (as in your sig!) If there's any upset I feel it's that now I am not ministering like I've done for a considerable number of years. There's a sort of 'empty' feeling from that. I miss being able to share and teach SO MUCH!!

But God is in charge and knows exactly what He's doing. That's what I rest in!

Grace and peace to you!

- BM
 
UPDATE and NOTICE

Below is the NOTICE (and graphic) of how - at long last! - you may now read all Inner Room messages on our website if you wish.

UPDATE

OUR DOC SURE HAS HIS HANDS FULL!!

I have to be frank with you all that I get tired of doing health updates - simply because I can't help thinking: who wants to read about OUR problems all the time? I'm sure you have enough of your own. But I know that many do pray for our total healing soon, so I spose I better get to it!

Last night Beloved went to bed but literally had not even ONE wink of sleep all night cos of all her pains. She's now back in bed and I'm HOPING she may be getting some sleep!** Her body certainly doesn't want to live a normal life. She's still mobile, but it's very poor mobility. Everything wears her out in no time flat. Besides which constant pain in various places will wear anyone out!!

In contrast to her (lack of) sleep, I've become a sleep-a-holic! I had about 14 hrs sleep, got up and had breakfast, and then went back to bed for a couple more hours, too tired to hold my head up! Crazy, crazy, crazy! Maybe I have hypersomnia (somewhat opposite to insomnia).

Doc is back most concerned about my health level once again! *sigh!* I'm his oldest and worst Chronic Fatigue Syndrome patient and he sometimes finds it quite difficult to know what to do with me! Clearly I did work too hard for too long on CFS - past when I should have - and so managed to push myself into fairly serious (physical) depression, i.e., not the psychological type like manic depression.

I may have gone to the next stage which is Clinical Depression - hoping NOT, as this takes years to get over!! Beloved had this in the 90's from doing too much looking after me and I'm not sure she's ever really got over it.
___________

** She DID!! Best for ages she says! Which is really FABBO, but also crazy! Why?? *Certainly not knocking it!!*


NOTICE

AT LONG LAST IT'S DONE!! I have to honour Nick who's done a most magnificent job while his lady has been very ill, of setting up ALL of the Inner Room Messages for easiest possible reading and viewing, including our special search engine to enable you to find any words and phrases in all 326 messages!!

Here's a considerably reduced example of a Gems page (now don't tell me you can't read it! *hehe!!*):

ir-gems-example.png

So you now have a choice! By all means continue to read them here if that's the most convenient for you, or read them all together in one place on our website including having the search facility.

I've always believed that choices are very important in life, and this decision is entirely up to you! Simply go to this page We Welcome You to "The Inner Room" and put it in Favourites (I even put up a relaxing Aussie scene at the top to set the right mood *smile!*).

ENJOY!!

Oh, nothing will change HERE!! I am NOT leaving CFS, okay!!!

Much love and many many blessings till next time!!! Praying for you as you read Messages!!

- BM
 
That's so cool Bondman .

Enjoy your rest you've earned it . "creating" is hard work .

And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. (Gen 2:3)
 
Bondman
I cannot imagine having to go through all you and the Mrs are going through. Makes me think Robin what are you complaining of.. it is a crazy week-end here and just trying to get these work projects done this week-end.. it seems so over looming to me.

Michael
Thanks for the links for the songs.. I needed them this morning.
I will be praying Bondman as please pray for me the next 2 days for wisdom to get this work done the way the Lord would do.All Glory and honor to him this morning.
Love ya!
Faithwoman
 
Faithwoman: Those who He loves He chastens, and those who accept chastening get a pile or righteousness from it. One thing Bondman loves is more righteousness!!

Thanks, hon. Will pray for your projects.

Michael: Thankyou for your comments. I try to rest seldom - but sometimes I just have to!

Blessings to you!

- BM
 
Bondman,

I find the more i rest .. the more i get done . it's really quite hilarious . i don't know how that works .

maybe i pray in my sleep and God does it?

WHO KNEW? :eek:
 
TRUE CONFESSION and Update

Let me get to the confession first up. I don't have to, but feel that I should. I'm the man who's stated here that I aim to always obey the Lord in everything I know about. I may have even said it more strongly than that. And it was the truth. But I really bombed out a while ago. I was still writing Reaching Higher and Nick and I had started on our exciting new Project that we were going to invite you all to.

Then the Lord told me to stop writing messages. No big deal. He's taken me from one thing to another before with no warning whatsoever. I set out to stop, then thought... and that was the start of the trouble... I thought, "But I'll lose track of people here because we're quite a ways off completing the Project." And that's exactly what we do. We see a reason not to obey. It's a "BUT," thing - a 'but thing' that's NOT to be done to the Lord!

I did! I sort of excused myself somehow by starting A New Way - less work than other threads.Maybe I even convinced myself this wasn't really continuing to write messages. Of course it was!! I'd been given a direct command from my Master and I thought up reasons why doing what He said would not help ministry. And so while the problem was REAL, I was saying to Him, "Lord, I don't really TRUST You to look after this problem that I can see!!" I was even saying that I was frightened of what the consequences may be.

The result was... that instead of just working on the Project with Nick, I kept doing a FULL-TIME job of writing messages as well, meaning I was doing MORE than I could handle. The result of that in turn was that my body said, "Okay, well if you're going to be stupid, then I have to stop you." And it has. I'd pushed myself into possibly serious depression that I'm still in.

And the result of THAT is that I'm unable to do ANY ministry at all - after successfully managing to minister full-time from January 2008 to Many 2010 virtually every day of that time - despite my serious ill-health!! So GOD IS ABLE as we all know. But this was dependent on me being obedient - doing what I was told immediately, WITHOUT QUESTION, instead of foolishly rationalising about it.

I've repented of it all of course. But I really blew it, and so damage is done - all of it by me alone! My hope now? That someone here may learn from my bad mistake. For the true Believer OBEDIENCE is the route to heaven, and it pays not to deviate once you're on that road. I just foolishly did and am paying the consequences.

Praying for you as you read the messages here!! (Thank God that I CAN still pray!)

Love you all!!

- BM
 
Sometimes transition can be traumatic . especially the resting kind . i recall a passage that says God will put a spirit of deep sleep on some people and it disables their gifts . that was OT though . this may be the part where he makes us lie down .

trusting God, is the only way to please Him, and grace, is the only way to Him, and resting .. is at the end of succession of a creative work .. it is the hardest thing to just "be" when the tendency is to define ourselves by what we "do"

but we are human beings . and God did make rest for us .. and to workaholics the world round . the withdrawal pains when we are forced to rest are just killer .

hang in there bondman . God's got it all covered .

Agape .
 
Thankyou, Michael. I am hanging in there, and God indeed is in charge.

I've noticed you speak quite a bit about rest, and as we don't live in a restful society at all, that's quite valid. It's all go, go, go and no time for God.

However, my confession had nothing to do with rest, and I'm certainly not defined by what I do. I've long since learnt how to rest in the Lord even while working! Else how would an older, quite ill person be able to work 7-day weeks non-stop. HE constantly supplied the energy I needed in order to minister for Him. A miracle-working God!!!

I needed to stop writing messages purely cos I was TOLD to, end of story. Had nothing to do with needing rest. Had I obeyed there would have been NO problems.

Finally, I normally do take time out every day even while working a 60-70 hr week. Time out mostly spent with my Beloved. Which all worked fine till I disobeyed (and still would be if I hadn't)... *foolishness!*

Blessings, man!

- BM
 
A WIDOW MURDERED

Dhanya is now with the Lord. In many parts of India widows are held in low repute and live out their lives in terrible conditions. In Dhanya's village widows are suspected as engaging in witchcraft. When a young boy died she was blamed for this.

She and one of her sons were collecting leaves to sell when set upon. The son is in serious condition in hospital after being beaten and left for dead. Dhanya was beheaded and her body left where she fell.

Martyrs for Jesus like her are not uncommon in South Asia. We don't know the numbers in the Chinese Underground church and cannot tangibly help them. But reading of those who pay the ultimate sacrifice for their Lord makes me stop and think and consider my own situation, my prayer life, and my support for these who live in such dire circumstances. GFA Home - Gospel for Asia.

- BM
 
I've repented of it all of course. But I really blew it, and so damage is done - all of it by me alone! My hope now? That someone here may learn from my bad mistake. For the true Believer OBEDIENCE is the route to heaven, and it pays not to deviate once you're on that road. I just foolishly did and am paying the consequences.
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Rest assured that I can TOTALLY relate. I am too going through some consequences of my own. and the mountains look huge!
Got my second written warning at work with my job, the next thing to come would be termination.. so....... all is very overwhelming, in constant prayer over all of it.. and the obedience is huge people. there is consequences to pay.
Today is Paul and Bridget's daughters wedding.. why in the world am I so worked about about what I am going to wear.. PLAIN FOOLISHNESS! .. my beauty comes from my inner self is what the Lord has taught me.. the world tells me otherwise.
It is one day at a time here in NY.. one day , one moment getting right with the Lord.

My daughter graduates this week. Praise the Lord.. she was in a car wreck this week, another woman TBoned the side of her car.. she is ok.. cars can be replaced but peoples lives cannot.

I love you Bondman! Hugs to you! Our Lord is a mighty Lord. all glory to him
Hugs
Faithwoman!
 
Bondman said:
A WIDOW MURDERED

Dhanya is now with the Lord. In many parts of India widows are held in low repute and live out their lives in terrible conditions. In Dhanya's village windows are suspected as engaging in witchcraft. When a young boy died and she was blamed for this.

She and one of her sons were collecting leaves to sell when set upon. The son is in serious condition in hospital after being beaten and left for dead. Dhanya was beheaded and her body left where she fell.

Martyrs for Jesus like her are not uncommon in South Asia. We don't know the numbers in the Chinese Underground church and cannot tangibly help them. But reading of those who pay the ultimate sacrifice for their Lord makes me stop and think and consider my own situation, my prayer life, and my support for these who live in such dire circumstances. GFA Home - Gospel for Asia.

- BM
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Unbelievable! and we have what problems.. really makes one think what they are truly willing to sacrifice to share of the gospel and are we truly willing to surrender it all to him.
May the Lord take care of her son.. may she enjoy her time in eternity with the Lord!
God bless
Faithwoman
 
Yes indeed!! I pray for her son too. There's another son and they are both now without mother or father. But the GFA Pastor and church will support them. That Pastors and church members are regularly bashed, vilified, and some martyred is the clear price of commitment to the Lord Jesus in India. So unlike here, there are few indeed who are NOT fully committed!!

Add to that that every church convert is completely discipled (cf. here!!) before GFA will even count them in the number of church members, and we have saints of the Lord who are saints in truth and in deed! Praise be to His glorious Name!!

They need just two things of us as part of our DUTY to Jesus to evangelise the world, our gifts (because Pastors and church members are all so unbelievably poor), and our prayer support. All the rest THEY will do - in His strength - towards growing His kingdom there.

OUR name can be added to that growth!! - and the cost to us is SO unbelievably small! GFA Home - Gospel for Asia
- BM

 
Faithwoman said:
Rest assured that I can TOTALLY relate. I am too going through some consequences of my own. and the mountains look huge!
Got my second written warning at work with my job, the next thing to come would be termination.. so....... all is very overwhelming, in constant prayer over all of it.. and the obedience is huge people. there is consequences to pay.
Today is Paul and Bridget's daughters wedding.. why in the world am I so worked about about what I am going to wear.. PLAIN FOOLISHNESS! .. my beauty comes from my inner self is what the Lord has taught me.. the world tells me otherwise.
It is one day at a time here in NY.. one day , one moment getting right with the Lord.

My daughter graduates this week. Praise the Lord.. she was in a car wreck this week, another woman TBoned the side of her car.. she is ok.. cars can be replaced but peoples lives cannot.

I love you Bondman! Hugs to you! Our Lord is a mighty Lord. all glory to him
Hugs
Faithwoman!
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I love you too, hon! Always have!!

When we look at Him I believe that mountains become smaller. They don't go away, but just get more into perspective. We have a BIG and MIGHTY God!! Nothing is too great for Him. Nothing is beyond His ability. Nothing is even unknown by Him - he knows and understands all. And He is YOUR God!!!

Those who He loves He chastens, Hebrews 12:6 - so He must love you a great deal, sweetie!

Thanks for sharing - helps a lot when in prayer for you!

Love and hugs!!

- BM

EDIT! The world's standards and ways are just plain stupid! HIS beauty is within you - and that is fully sufficient!!
 
UPDATE for prayer

I don't want to write this, but am making myself do it - that's what this depression thing is doing to me all the time. *not impressed!*

Doc will visit us again Wed. Do I let him treat the depression? I've already been on 2 anti-depressants for ages to try and spark my body to keep going! He would increase the strongest one, but I'm not sure I want this...

But I do HATE that I am constantly unmotivated, something I've not experienced in my whole life I don't think. Despite illnesses, I am the ultimate 'do-er', loving work, wanting and loving to serve the Lord and others. "Lord, having forgiven me, would you heal the constant tiredness and lack of motivation? I am quite accepting of a 'No', however, for I know that I did this thing to myself (read HERE), and you mostly don't take away consequences of our sin and foolishness. Your forgiveness IS enough!!"

The cataract is my left eye is growing at a phenomenal rate! It puts a haze over everything I look at. Soon I'll have no effective sight there. The cataract in the right eye is a lot better that tnis and not perceptibly growing, but I'm having increasing trouble seeing the letters on the computer screen, threatening my ability to write here.

We've looked at every possible way to have this medically attended to and with Chronic Fatigue so bad in me can see absolutely NO WAY to do it!!! I've had to completely stop the short distances I still drove our wonderful old car because of this. (Being able to get out in the car was our last freedom we had.)

Beloved's cortisone injections into her shoulders are apparently not working. If she dares to do anything with her arms, she gets dreadful pain in her upper arm(s) that will last for many, many hours or longer. No matter what she does or how she does it, whether arms or wherever, she WILL cop pain. All of it is 'no-win.' The sole plus is that I am here, in the Lord, to help her stay sane, and not to quit...

She's identified that she briefly stumbles over words, especially when talking fast, which is her normal way of speech. Doc says this changes the T.S.I. she had to a full mini-stroke, now with the statistical danger of a 30% chance of a stroke in the next 5 years. This is v. serious, and he and she are doing all things possible to avoid this (not easy because of HER Chronic Fatigue and all the problems it brings).

So we both seem to be very busy with Doc, and it highlights to me that our complete miracle healing has to be getting closer and closer. Where we would end up without this doesn't bear thinking of...

Well, now that I've managed to depress all of you as well, I'll hereby cease and desist!! Thankyou for caring and for loving us. Don't know WHAT we'd do without that!!

Love and blessings to each one of you!

- BM

 
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