THE INNER ROOM - "Learn and Grow - to Maturity". Please read the 1st Post.

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It is over- I am now the Lord's

Dear Christian Online Family,
First of all thank you all so much for your prayers and support.
I will give you the quick version.
He came over last nite, to help with things around the house, we had dinner, then sat down for coffee on the patio. I prayed and prayed, my stomach was in knots. I beat him with (verbally) with issues that I felt he still had. I asked him how much he loved Jesus.. etc.. anyway I told him that I felt God was leading me to letting him go. That I needed to give him to the Lord.. long conversation. I told him that I loved him.. he did not reply. I walked him to his car.. he said I love you, I said I love you so much.. he said I know that.. anyway. .. waking up this morning it was still unsettled. I went to a church meeting in a town 1/2 hour away.. prayed alot and thought alot.

He did not call, but I called him.. I apologized for beating him up with a 2/4 verbally.. said I was sorry for judging him.. but I was letting him go. Yes there was issues on his part, and there was issues on my part. I told him that for 2 people to be together, God had to have the muck cleaned out of their lives. I needed to be with God. I needed not to have anyone in my life right now except the Lord. I need to seek God's will for my life. I need to have the Lord continue to heal me of the past pain. I have to continue to learn about the Lord . I need to continue to learn about obedience etc..

There is the short version. I must say.. I THANK ALL OF YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, BUT SPECIAL THANKS TO BONDMAN FOR NEVER GIVING UP ON ME. FOR GIVING ME GOD'S WORD AND REMINDING ME IN HIS EVER GENTLE, SOMETIMES STRONG EMAILS (BECAUSE THE LORD SHOWED HIM WHAT TO SAY TO ME).
Bondman wrote:

But if you are to the point where you really, really want to do it - then why are you so determined TO DO IT THE HARDEST POSSIBLE WAY?

He encouraged me to write and say it is finished, it is over. I chose to call. There were good parts of this relationship and bad parts as with any.

I can tell you, yes I have bawled like a baby since hanging up, but now I do feel peace. The Lord is my comforter. He will provide for me. I just have to trust him.

Bondman, may you know the Lord has blessed you with a special gift, I don't know what the Lord has planned for you , but please know and rejoice with me and the Lord in this FINALLY happening. If we all could just save one person from a life of hurt and pain, would it not be worth it to put it all out there? I encourage each and everyone of you, to go forth and be shining light to others.

I have been stripped of many things in the last 2 months, removed from my old town, my friends, my church, my family , the man I love. However in the same time I was blessed with a new job, a beautiful home, meeting new friends.. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY.. I AM RIGHT WHERE THE LORD WANTS ME .. WITH HIM AND TRUSTING IN HIM.

LOVE
FAITHWOMAN:):)
 
Dear Christian Online Family,
First of all thank you all so much for your prayers and support.
I will give you the quick version.
He came over last nite, to help with things around the house, we had dinner, then sat down for coffee on the patio. I prayed and prayed, my stomach was in knots. I beat him with (verbally) with issues that I felt he still had. I asked him how much he loved Jesus.. etc.. anyway I told him that I felt God was leading me to letting him go. That I needed to give him to the Lord.. long conversation. I told him that I loved him.. he did not reply. I walked him to his car.. he said I love you, I said I love you so much.. he said I know that.. anyway. .. waking up this morning it was still unsettled. I went to a church meeting in a town 1/2 hour away.. prayed alot and thought alot.

He did not call, but I called him.. I apologized for beating him up with a 2/4 verbally.. said I was sorry for judging him.. but I was letting him go. Yes there was issues on his part, and there was issues on my part. I told him that for 2 people to be together, God had to have the muck cleaned out of their lives. I needed to be with God. I needed not to have anyone in my life right now except the Lord. I need to seek God's will for my life. I need to have the Lord continue to heal me of the past pain. I have to continue to learn about the Lord . I need to continue to learn about obedience etc..

There is the short version. I must say.. I THANK ALL OF YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, BUT SPECIAL THANKS TO BONDMAN FOR NEVER GIVING UP ON ME. FOR GIVING ME GOD'S WORD AND REMINDING ME IN HIS EVER GENTLE, SOMETIMES STRONG EMAILS (BECAUSE THE LORD SHOWED HIM WHAT TO SAY TO ME).
Bondman wrote:

But if you are to the point where you really, really want to do it - then why are you so determined TO DO IT THE HARDEST POSSIBLE WAY?

He encouraged me to write and say it is finished, it is over. I chose to call. There were good parts of this relationship and bad parts as with any.

I can tell you, yes I have bawled like a baby since hanging up, but now I do feel peace. The Lord is my comforter. He will provide for me. I just have to trust him.

Bondman, may you know the Lord has blessed you with a special gift, I don't know what the Lord has planned for you , but please know and rejoice with me and the Lord in this FINALLY happening. If we all could just save one person from a life of hurt and pain, would it not be worth it to put it all out there? I encourage each and everyone of you, to go forth and be shining light to others.

I have been stripped of many things in the last 2 months, removed from my old town, my friends, my church, my family , the man I love. However in the same time I was blessed with a new job, a beautiful home, meeting new friends.. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY.. I AM RIGHT WHERE THE LORD WANTS ME .. WITH HIM AND TRUSTING IN HIM.

LOVE
FAITHWOMAN:):)

Thankyou for sharing all of this, sweetie. Doing something that is contrary to what our flesh desires, setting yourself to do what is right and what is the Lord's way - this is TOUGH!! But good comes from obedience. Spiritual good I mean. Obedience gives the Lord so much more of you to work with - from which you will profit in the Spiritual realm in time to come. And He always honours those who will obey Him!

My part in any of this or with any person is simply to be a conduit for God. He uses our hands, mouth, eyes, ears. He needs willing hearts who will allow Him to do this. He needs those who have learnt how to LOVE, and are prepared to be literally used by Him to reach others with HIS agape.

I wouldn't expect your days to be easy as you move forward. Losing a major relationship always means a time of grieving, something you must go through in order to be whole down the track. We are here to love and support you as you continue your walk with the Lord, even as we are doing the same in our own way.

May His inner love and peace by His Spirit be yours!

- BM
 
Well, tomorrow is 'P' day, when they bring an electric wheelchair or Power Chair for us to check, to ensure that it's right for me! Today I've been incredibly ill in body and my head, so I sure hope I'll be a bit more alive tomorrow!

I won't be throwing the crutches away. The Power Chair (we're already working out a name for it, hee!) is to relieve me of the physical stress that's become too much for my body to handle, i.e., more of my mobility round the home can be done in the chair, but I'll still use the crutches so I don't lose even more body condition. It's the normal 'use it, or lose it' scenario!

The Doc wants me to get outside in it away from these four walls I'm in every day. So as soon as we can get ramps to drive it the one step out of the front door it's sure gonna be strange 'motoring' out into the sun and down to the park close by - at the amazing speed, and this is full bore, okay, of... wait for it... 5 mph. Wow!! (The brand is Speedie. Maybe that will have to be it's name!)

I shall keep you posted about my new and excting 'adventure'!! (hmm... maybe even a pic...)

- BM
 
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PRACTICAL NEW TESTAMENT CHRISTIANITY


MESSAGE #114

YEP, SERVING THE LORD IS GOOD! – Part 2

... continued from Part 1

Another important thing to remember is that people with a strong sense of responsibility like myself can very easily get caught in a particular trap: seeing a need and feeling that they MUST help with that need. I had to learn many years ago that the need is NOT the call!! The call is when GOD TELLS you to do it. Until then, leave well alone - still remembering THAT SERVICE IS GOOD!

(One more trap is to become 'too busy'. The saying is that if you need someone to do something look for the busiest ones and ask them! The reason is obvious – they are clearly the most WILLING ones! People may ask. But make sure you listen to HIS voice before acting!!)

We must also watch for something that I saw maybe in my very first year as a Believer. It's to do with people's PERCEPTION of what is the work of God. It seems that GOD IS ALLOWED TO START A WORK, but NEVER EVER EVER is He allowed to CLOSE A WORK! And thus I began to see people doing what they considered to be a serivce of God when God actually wanted the whole thing closed! So beware CONTINUING IN A SERVICE long after GOD WANTS YOU TO. That is, we must always take CARE to be aware of His CONTINUED calling to us - including His calling to us to STOP!! (Some things do NOT have to go on forever…)

Finally, and of crucial importance, do not put your SERVICE FOR God, AHEAD OF YOUR GOD!!! This is a most TERRIBLE TRAP!! People who are serving and doing everything God has required of them can become contented, and NOT growing in their Christian and Spiritual life, not growing towards maturity! WHY? - because they are WORKING instead of RELATING!!! Your RELATIONSHIP with God COMES FIRST OF ALL!! It comes AHEAD of service. Service should always STEM OUT OF your relationship with the Living God!

You are serving in God's Kingdom upon earth. A high privilege indeed!! And no matter who you are or what your abilities, you CAN make a difference – whether that difference is small or large! Both are of EQUAL value to the Lord!

May your service for Him be sweet indeed!

- BM, with his Lady
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TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY
FOR EVER AND EVER! AMEN!

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*sneaks in*

*waves*

:D

Can't stay long I've got to clean my apartment the in laws will be here next week and the hubby not to long after :D but I wanted to say HELLO! :fish:

*sneaks back out*
 
sCo_huhsign.gif
Who was that strange person *sneaking* in here?
Could it have been? No, it couldnt be! Or could it?
HisDreamer! Hello!
 
Talk about breezing in and breezing out again! Sorry, sneaking in and out! hahah!!

So wonderful to hear that hubby is making a visit. Wow, that sure will be an EXCITING time!!

Blessings to you both!

- BM
 
I would like to request that everyone pray for my dad. He is 85, and for the past two & half years, he has been lying in a nursing home, unable to do anything for himself (due to severe stroke). Yesterday afternoon about 4:00, I received a call from my brother, informing me that daddy appears to have pneumonia. He has spiked a fever, his 02 level had dropped to 70, BP of 90/40.

The only thing that has kept him alive is a feeding tube which he never wanted, but we were forced to allow, or be brought up on murder chargers by his physician at the time.

All we are allowing to be done is what ever it takes to keep him comfortable. I know this sounds harsh, but I pray that God will call him home. I try to tell myself that I am ok with him going home and I know without a doubt that he will be joining my mother when the time comes, but still I am afraid that I may not handle it well at all.

Please remember us in your prayers.
 
i hope he goes peacefully.my grandad was similar ,heart attack,revived ,same again,same again.you wouldn,t let a vet do these things to your dog,but hospitals are a law to themselves,my father saw the cruelty and made me promise to take him home to die with grace.and i hope i will be far away from the mungrel butchers at home.:eek:
 
lol :p not a visit =) the hubby is coming home to stay =)
the ball has started rolling for getting out of the army and stuff.

Sorry hon! I must have missed a couple of months out of my life! *grin* I don't believe I'd picked up that he was returning for good!! WOW, that is marvellous news! *feeling very happy for you!!*
 
I would like to request that everyone pray for my dad. He is 85, and for the past two & half years, he has been lying in a nursing home, unable to do anything for himself (due to severe stroke). Yesterday afternoon about 4:00, I received a call from my brother, informing me that daddy appears to have pneumonia. He has spiked a fever, his 02 level had dropped to 70, BP of 90/40.

The only thing that has kept him alive is a feeding tube which he never wanted, but we were forced to allow, or be brought up on murder chargers by his physician at the time.

All we are allowing to be done is what ever it takes to keep him comfortable. I know this sounds harsh, but I pray that God will call him home. I try to tell myself that I am ok with him going home and I know without a doubt that he will be joining my mother when the time comes, but still I am afraid that I may not handle it well at all.

Please remember us in your prayers.

Like SmellyCat commented, why we have to artificially keep people alive when absolutely all hope is gone, does not compute with me at all. Others may disagree, and that's fine. But I personally feel you are on the right track, Wayne, and don't feel that what you said is harsh at all! PRAYING!! (for you and the whole situation).

- BM
 
Praying for you as well Wayne.
I have worked in healthcare ( on the financial side..not clinical) for 23 years. I have seen alot and just don't understand some of it.

keeping you and your family in prayers.

Faithwoman
 
Hey Wayne, I went thru something similar with my grandmother. I watched her die of ovarian cancer. Its tough, but you want them to be at peace and pain free again, even if it means being in heaven and away from you.

Father, we lift up our brother, Wayne, to You today. And ask that You give him peace and strength to get thru this. The loss of a father is a hard thing, but we that are in Christ dont mourn as those who dont. Because we know that he is going to a better place, which is with You. Please give Wayne the words that are needed to comfort the rest of the family. Words of wisdom and assurance. Be in that room with Wayne's Dad, Lord, and use his final moments to touch someone else's life for You.
Amen.
 
Strolling In Sin

I just had to share this with all the messages I have learned on sin.

As I was on my way to church tonite and sitting at the red light, there was a young gal maybe 16 17 years old pushing a baby carriage. Now I understand, she may have been the babysitter, but for this message sake, let us say she was the mother of that small child.

The message that the Lord put in my head was that of "Strolling in Sin". For so long, I had been strolling in sin of my own. I am thankful that the Lord led me to sexual purity. Yes it took 46 years of my life to get to that point with that sin. But it also made me reflect what other sin am I strolling in? You see I have learned there may be just things we think of as "small" sins.. sin is sin.. period.

God has forgiven all of us for our sins, but it is imperative we repent and not keep "strolling".

As I am learning, as the muck is cleaned out of my life, that life with Jesus is so much more awesome than the strolling I had been doing.

Hugs to all
Faithwoman:)
 
M

Mark_18

Guest
Great thoughts Faithwoman.

We often look for the sins we're strolling in, but don't see them. SO - Look out for things that you know aren't right, (The boyfriend that abuses you, the friends you know you shouldn't be with, the little bit of drinking you do on the weekends, the posters of beautiful women you have that you say aren't pornography so are okay...etc...) and deny yourself the right to come up with excuses to leave those things as they are. By praying about these things, you'll likely see the sin within them. Pray, wait on, and pursue the courage, wisdom, and strength to now give these things up and deal with them once and for all. Then, once you drop these things because the Lord tells you to, you'll probably find yourself being freed from bondages you didn't even know were within, and attached to these things you held onto. You may find prayers you prayed long ago - and you wondered why they went 'unheard' - being answered, by the graceful cleaning the Holy Spirit has been given room to do. The connections/ relationships between our sins and our needs/wants, and how the former might be in the way of the latter, is not for us to worry about. God has His ways. Sin is sin. Nothing will be for nothing.
 
M

Mark_18

Guest
I would like to request that everyone pray for my dad. He is 85, and for the past two & half years, he has been lying in a nursing home, unable to do anything for himself (due to severe stroke). Yesterday afternoon about 4:00, I received a call from my brother, informing me that daddy appears to have pneumonia. He has spiked a fever, his 02 level had dropped to 70, BP of 90/40.

The only thing that has kept him alive is a feeding tube which he never wanted, but we were forced to allow, or be brought up on murder chargers by his physician at the time.

All we are allowing to be done is what ever it takes to keep him comfortable. I know this sounds harsh, but I pray that God will call him home. I try to tell myself that I am ok with him going home and I know without a doubt that he will be joining my mother when the time comes, but still I am afraid that I may not handle it well at all.

Please remember us in your prayers.

My dad's not saved, but I don't think he's that close to the end either. I can't imagine, brother, praying for you. Hallelujah, You recognize that loss is incredible gain here! Let's pray for the Lord to bury that truth and all the benefits of knowing it, deep into you and bring you great joy and strength all your days, until you finally get out of here already. :) No I'm not forcing you out, but I know you wanna go home even more than I do.
 
We often look for the sins we're strolling in, but don't see them. SO - Look out for things that you know aren't right, (The boyfriend that abuses you, the friends you know you shouldn't be with, the little bit of drinking you do on the weekends, the posters of beautiful women you have that you say aren't pornography so are okay...etc...) and deny yourself the right to come up with excuses to leave those things as they are. By praying about these things, you'll likely see the sin within them. Pray, wait on, and pursue the courage, wisdom, and strength to now give these things up and deal with them once and for all. Then, once you drop these things because the Lord tells you to, you'll probably find yourself being freed from bondages you didn't even know were within, and attached to these things you held onto. You may find prayers you prayed long ago - and you wondered why they went 'unheard' - being answered, by the graceful cleaning the Holy Spirit has been given room to do. The connections/ relationships between our sins and our needs/wants, and how the former might be in the way of the latter, is not for us to worry about. God has His ways. Sin is sin. Nothing will be for nothing.

Great response Mark! I just love how the Lord will place a thought in my life, I then share and other folks respond and I continue to learn! You know there is that saying that sometimes the best prayers are the ones that are unanswered.. God knows what is best for us.. he will guide us, he will lead us.. but we got to get rid of our excuses for not wanting to listen and follow!

Hugs
Faithwoman:)
 
the gem

Mark,
Another thought came to my mind over my coffee, we are a gem to the Lord.. I think about that , he created this beautiful sparking gem with many sides.. think of a perfect cut gem..ie a diamond. There are many sides to a gem.. a perfect gem sparkles no matter which way you turn it in the light.

Through the Lord's love, grace, mercy and forgiveness, is how he polishes that gem he created.. you, me, all others. He polishes each and every side of us.. he of course created us sparkling, beautiful and unique.. we through our sins and choices allowed one cut maybe many more to not shine any more in the light.

It is his shining light that he wants us sparkle in. We were designed, fabricated in the likeness of his son. He of course when creating us gave us a side of the gem that is called free will. The biggest responsibility of free will is whether or not to follow him. Through following him we find our true self.. that perfect gem he created.

So Lord heavenly father, we praise you this morning, we give you thanks, may we all be the true gems that you created and designed. May we take our free will and chose to follow you and reap the rewards you have for us, may we not take that free will and make the wrong choices that bring the suffering of consequences.

Amen
Faithwoman:)
 
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