I was looking through my writings trying to find one I wrote when chatting in the Lord in the bathtub. I could not find that one, but I did find this one:
THE DECISION OF WANTING
Oh how this morning I want it all
what do you want
tell me,tell me it all
I want it all to go away
the hurt the pain the sadness
the confusion, the anger
the feeling of that brick wall
I can’t stand it
I hate it, I hate it all
why must life be so hard
the challenges, the struggles
the fear
oh so many feelings
take it,take it all
for so long
I believed it was him
that was causing it all
well it could be
could be him
but did you ever think
that it was the you
the you from within?
have you really looked
I mean really searched
what is it you want
you say you want it all
how long are you going
to sit or stand around
not knowing
or maybe knowing
how to get over the wall
you can sit there and think
until you are blue in the face
the clock is ticking
taking time away from your life
I believe my dear child
you know what you want
you are a smart woman
now get off to that start
to accomplish a journey
whether it be by foot, plane or car
you must take the your life out of park
and move forward with ease
give thought to the steps
and have a plan
and please know
it will not be easy
but noone promised us life would be
you can have it
you can have it all
but remember
it is your choice
your choice alone
Isn’t it wonderful
knowing there is a way
a way to have it
have it all
and not die
from all the pain
Buffy 8/6/05
I wrote that back in 2005! Little did I know then that the way not to die from the pain was to really have the Lord in my life! It is amazing when I look back now at my old writings, the Lord was right there guiding me.
Your messages on hardship, living right. all of your messages and everyone else has really helped guide me. Thanks to all of you! We can get over the brick walls of life ... we just need him!
PS.. Buffy was my nickname...