Well, it sure IS gonna be 1 BIG puzzle piece coming my wayy

Well, it sure IS gonna be 1 BIG puzzle piece coming my wayy

For the past week and a half I've been feeling, quite, not myself so much.
It's really hard to explain really. But, then again it's not so hard..2 explain;

There's a part of me missing, and I dont know what it is, cant put my finger on it, I can only feel it.

I'm not really sure where to start. I'm in my second year of college. My pastor said she's helping me with the next step with the college stuff. (she still has my college stuff from in the mail)

It's been a couple months, but she gave me God's word by saying that there's this big puzzle piece that's missing and its just gonna come right down when the time comes. And I believe it, b/c there's something missing from my life and i cant describe it. Is it more adventure?

Is it more laughter and smiling? B/c that's exactly what Im trying to figure out whats wrong with me? I mean, I feel happy like where im at right now, but my facial expression isnt showing it. and im not laughing or smiling at something unless it's really extremely funny.

My heart longs for relationships and to be cared for and wanted and needed. (I like to have privacy from my own family most of the time, but i like to vent out to other friends.) Friends in which i feel i dont really have any anymore. I do have some girl friends but none of us are close anymore, especially since we live so far apart.

I guess I'm really asking for some prayer. But I'm not sure for what exactly, i guess maybe to find myself again. whether its friends, my career choice, the battling of the devil...
My pastor's husband preached on like a ball of yarn. And we're trying to untangle this ball of yarn but we just cant seem to for the life of us. I feel I have a BIG yarn to undo, but i dont know what it is, what it's for, or why, or how, or anything.

Maybe a change in scenery? who knows??

I'm just needing some prayer for God to open up the eyes and ears of my heart to help me realize what it is I'm after in life.

I slightly feel unneeded/unwanted in church, unnoticed. Not totally, just from a different angle, its VERY hard to explain. I'm def. unnoticed with my friends at least. And what I mean by friends is we know each other but we dont hang out cuz their either too young or too old or live too far away and they have their own lives and circle of friends and dont realize wats going on with me, cuz i havent told them, and cuz we dont know each other that really well, we wouldnt understand each other either.

Pray for:
my career choice/ college.
good influence of circle of friends thats grounded in christ jesus, (that MY age!!) and ppl who we can be emotional with and hang out and all other stuff.
my family,
my work...

I mean, im at home, but i feel home-sick. why?!?!?!?!??!?!????? I wanna cry again... and it wont come out..
 
Hey cool to see you again . encouraged by reading . thanks .

i was thinking today .. that as we grow in God .. we see things that are missing in us . it was missing all along .. but God just made it more obvious by the way we just grew b/c of what he just did .

And when a new space within us is empty . the thing i have noticed is we have a choice . to fill it with something that makes sense . or ask Him to fill it with something we cannot imagine .. but in the interim .. we might feel empty there .

you also mentioned feeling unneeded or unwanted in church . . . i know how that feels . i found that feeling went away when God replaced that hole in me that i was trying to fill with people .

i think three times you mentioned different expressions of feeling lonely or out of place . this time of discomfort can also be a time of opportunity to .. hmm .. get closer to him than ever before .

when you feel those feelings . direct them to God like a big hug . because God's hugs are nice .

hope you are well . :)

-Michael
 
It seems like you have a good idea of the circumstances surrounding why you feel this way: feeling unnoticed, lack of a close group of friends. Now the question is, what do you feel these circumstances are telling you about yourself? That's where the pain is.

Don't let those circumstances effect how you define yourself. When you understand what negative things you are believing, that's where you can step back and say "Hey, wait a minute, the Lord tells me "A", so what I'm being told now "B", isn't true."

That's something I've used in my own life. Remember that you are inherently valuable, that's just who you are.
 
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