Were there times in your life that you were told to speak English?

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PTSDintheAsylum

Note: off-topic post

A lot of times I struggle with getting my point across without people judging me for having crappy English. People tell me that I’m talking nonsense and that I “need to speak English”. To me that sounds horribly offensive because I’ve struggled my whole life with talking properly and my learning problems are a hinderance to something that is assumed to be simple. They say they’re aware it’s rude but they excuse it with they’re trying to help me get through to life. I’m expected to dumb myself down to talk to people who assume I’m of a higher section of the privilege ladder, when I’m really not. They yell at me that I’m talking complete nonsense and say “you know everyone’s going to judge you for the way you speak”. Excuse me? Who are THEY to tell me how I should function and appeal to their ways, when all they’re doing is just being rude and disrespectful. I’m not going to pretend I’m stupid to appeal to their likes, if they don’t like how I say things, that’s on them.
 
Dear PTSTintheAsylum;

People who tell you that you're talking nonsense and that you need to speak English is an awful thing to say. I have been in surroundings where I couldn't speak another language with the people I was with. But many times one person out of the group could speak a little English to me, very broken English, and they apologized to me. I responded, no worries, please don't apologize. I was grateful because even a tiny bit of English enabled me to communicate wholesome words that would love and uplift others.

People who criticize your language, in this case English, is a cousin to prejudice. That is their disadvantage.

I love people.

"I don't care who you are, I love the human race" - Quote Grand Funk Railroad from the song, Hooked On Love 1970

Ephesians 4:29, 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. - ESV

God bless you, sister.

Other's thoughts?
 
When I was growing up, many people would ask me if I spoke English or treated me as stupid because I look Chinese. They didn't think I could speak it, and when I did they were either surprised or said I spoke English very well! (which was kind of a backhanded compliment, because I grew up immersed in it, I didn't really have to LEARN it).

I ended up majoring in English literature and even got an TESOL certificate to teach English to speakers of other languages.

However I never judge people for speaking with an accent or saying things badly or using slang. I flatted with a deaf child and am friends with deaf/hearing impaired people. But I think if speaking is hard, writing can be a way to communicate.

BTW my Chinese is terrible. I don't know that many words so am not fluent. I can pronounce it ok though. I have a New Zealand accent, so who knows, maybe the Australians think our English is worse than theirs. I am not from England. People are fussy about the way you speak it over there.
 
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Lanolin said:
When I was growing up, many people would ask me if I spoke English or treated me as stupid because I look Chinese. They didn't think I could speak it, and when I did they were either surprised or said I spoke English very well! (which was kind of a backhanded compliment, because I grew up immersed in it, I didn't really have to LEARN it). I ended up majoring in English literature and even got an TESOL certificate to teach English to speakers of other languages. However I never judge people for speaking with an accent or saying things badly or using slang. I flatted with a deaf child and am friends with deaf/hearing impaired people. But I think if speaking is hard, writing can be a way to communicate. BTW my Chinese is terrible. I don't know that many words so am not fluent. I can pronounce it ok though. I have a New Zealand accent, so who knows, maybe the Australians think our English is worse than theirs. I am not from England. People are fussy about the way you speak it over there.
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Hello Lanolin;

This is a wonderful post and thank you for sharing. I studied accounting in college but one of my prerequisites was Business English. It was a good study and I excelled. All the glory to God.

By the way, I remember hearing you host and speak on your garden radio broadcast and I enjoyed the show! 📻 😎 👍

God bless you, sister.
 
LearningToLetGo said:
You're obviously intelligent and probably 2-3 steps ahead of most people you interact with. They don't understand you because they either can't or won't. Unfortunately this is something you'll need to learn to live with. Think Paige from Young Sheldon.
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I don’t watch Young Sheldon, and I have little to no interest of The Big Bang Theory, so I have no clue who Paige is. I personally link someone who thinks they know everything and accuses an actual intelligent person with Eric Cartman’s relationship with Kyle Broflovski from South Park.
 
PTSDintheAsylum said:
I have little to no interest of The Big Bang Theory, so I have no clue who Paige is.
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In a nutshell, Paige is a brilliant young woman who is an order of magnitude smarter than Sheldon and does not suffer from any inability to be around other people. However, she does suffer from crushingly severe emotional abuse and is lashing out in all manner of unhealthy ways.

I am not implying that you have suffered emotional abuse nor am I implying you are lashing out. I am merely pointing out that your worldview -- and your intelligence combined with autism is a large part of that -- gives you a different perspective than most people. You see things they do not, and vice versa. As such "most" people might find it difficult to understand you and will say or do things that seem rude to you. Since you can't change other people and might not be able to change yourself, you'll need to understand this dynamic and accept it.

It sucks, but that's how it is.
 
Being naturally soft-spoken can also be hard when people literally cannot hear you because you don't speak loud enough.
The other thing is, I might have selective hearing, like it's a thing where I don't hear what someone may have said over again that they know they have said but I might have known they have said it, but I chose not to listen lol.

I tend to ignore a lot of negativity as 'noise' to me it's blah blah blah. This is tough on bosses especially who think THEY may have given me clear instructions but they were so longwinded or negative that I just forgot them or didn't listen. Or, whats happened is someone else has told me something different or the complete opposite and I listened to them first, so to listen to someone else I have to override what I first heard!

Children are the same. You tell them many times and they don't hear, or they did hear but they forget five minutes later. I am not that great with classes where some children may be very bright and pick up straightway while another is slow and doesn't get it until the 100th time. Speaking louder may not always work!

Jesus said those who have ears, let them hear. Maybe some people just have no ears. He also said MY sheep hear my voice, to another they won't listen. So how many competing voices are you listening to?

With autism, I have learned those who suffer from it have sensory processing issues. So they are either supersensitive picking up everything or they shut down because its too overwhelming to pick out anything.
 
crossnote said:
I stutter pretty badly, ...try getting your point across with that impediment. ..l'll leave the rest to your imagination.
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Throughout middle school, high school and college I stuttered pretty badly, often being forced to accept what someone thought I was trying to say.

I still stuttered when I went into the service, but my duty for the first two years was 11pm - 8am, and running computers did not require me to talk much.

Later, I was moved to day, but still my duties did not require a lot of talking.

Once I was a civilian again, I was increasingly requested to talk intelligently and communicate to my team and superiors.

I was also asked to teach informal classes on various aspects of my job. -- Very stressful.

I found that if I knew my subject (and knew that I knew it) I could speak fairly well, but the minute I cross into speculative reasoning or come up against a combative listener I still lose track of my points and start stuttering again.

It happens much less often when 'speaking' online, but I still tend to stutter in my head when I am developing a post. I now often write my post in a word processor and paste it into my posts online.
 
crossnote said:
I stutter pretty badly, ...try getting your point across with that impediment. ..l'll leave the rest to your imagination.
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Siloam said:
Throughout middle school, high school and college I stuttered pretty badly, often being forced to accept what someone thought I was trying to say. I still stuttered when I went into the service, but my duty for the first two years was 11pm - 8am, and running computers did not require me to talk much. Later, I was moved to day, but still my duties did not require a lot of talking. Once I was a civilian again, I was increasingly requested to talk intelligently and communicate to my team and superiors. I was also asked to teach informal classes on various aspects of my job. -- Very stressful. I found that if I knew my subject (and knew that I knew it) I could speak fairly well, but the minute I cross into speculative reasoning or come up against a combative listener I still lose track of my points and start stuttering again. It happens much less often when 'speaking' online, but I still tend to stutter in my head when I am developing a post. I now often write my post in a word processor and paste it into my posts online.
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Hello crossnote and Siloam;

My late Grandfather stuttered and his son (my uncle) stutter. I was wondering, is there a therapy for minimizing stuttering, or, by speaking reasonably slower and not getting ahead of what you're going to say, would that help?

God bless you, brothers.
 
I can remember a choir member at my first church after I received Christ.
He could barely put two words together when he was speaking.
But when he sings, HE SINGS! He was often the given the most difficult (at least from my estimation) soloist parts.

Never dismiss someone who is having difficulty communicating. Be patient and attentive and supportive.
 
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