I’ve been having difficulty with telling people that I don’t like conversations that drag for too long or are very unnecessary. This is typically what goes on between me and my relatives. I have depression and I get easily exhausted and irritable fairly quickly. I cannot stand conversations that ask me the same old questions over and over again and expect me to give them an answer, every. single. time. It gets on my nerves that they should know already what I’m doing and yet act like they’re too oblivious of their surroundings just to irritate me. Strangers, I can easily forgive, but relatives, who act like they know me more than I know myself, that is a different story.
I can’t count the never ending road of times I had to tell them I don’t want to have a conversation when I’m not in the mood. And I hear the same old excuse over and over and over again: “he/she/they just don’t know any better”. They constantly irritate me nonstop to the point where I end up losing my **** and tell them to mind their own business. Then they get angry with me and tell me I have no right to “smart-mouth” my family. Funny though how they get angry when I call them out on their amnesia-playing card, yet when I ask them something important only once, they tell me rudely to screw off. They will whine over minor things, but yet when I get upset over something that’s reasonable, I get told to shut my mouth and suck it up. This use the following to their advantage, to drag everything down with unnecessary topics while I’m in a bad mood to make me blow up, and when they succeed, they will blame everything on me. They know I’m easily tired and irritable, they just don’t care, and they will use it to make me even more miserable, and to make ME the problem.
I am an adult and I live in really crappy (seriously) roads in the deep end of the woods in the countryside. I’ve moved out almost two years ago, and they (especially my parents) still keep doing this to me. They act like I’m so unpredictable and difficult, when all they are doing is acting naïve to their child’s personal problems. I tried discussing my experiences of depression to my parents, but they kept dismissing as either I’m just faking it or I’m just making excuses to get away with my “unruly” behavior. Even if I’ve moved out, I’m still far away from the nearest town, which takes at least half an hour to get there by vehicle. Growing up, I got involved in fights my parents caused, I got so angry that I told them that I would move out and call the police on them. They attempted to keep me in line by claiming the police would only take ME away and that I would have nowhere to live but the insane asylum.
They accuse me of caring about no one else but myself, when clearly they didn’t give a **** over what they did to make me angry in the first place. They would constantly ground me for the fights and things THEY caused. They would apologize later on, but soon after they would go right back to the same behavior. But that was on a rare occasion. Usually they expect me to apologize for things I didn’t start, and it didn’t matter if they forgave me or not, they will lecture me on how much of a horrible daughter they’ve raised and tell me whenever I have my stuff back, I “turn into a viper”. They think having a fortunate and privileged child is spoiling them and is the spawn of Satan. They would sometimes call me the devil whenever they succeed in abusing me. I was “spoiled” growing up so it was no wonder they constantly labeled me as a drama queen and an ungrateful brat. They would also use corporal punishment when I “acted out”.
I’m literally crying over all this, because it deeply traumatized me growing up and it still does. I had so much fear discussing this here and I feel I’m going to get reprimanded for what I’ve described. But I have no choice. Any support will help. Thank you.
I can’t count the never ending road of times I had to tell them I don’t want to have a conversation when I’m not in the mood. And I hear the same old excuse over and over and over again: “he/she/they just don’t know any better”. They constantly irritate me nonstop to the point where I end up losing my **** and tell them to mind their own business. Then they get angry with me and tell me I have no right to “smart-mouth” my family. Funny though how they get angry when I call them out on their amnesia-playing card, yet when I ask them something important only once, they tell me rudely to screw off. They will whine over minor things, but yet when I get upset over something that’s reasonable, I get told to shut my mouth and suck it up. This use the following to their advantage, to drag everything down with unnecessary topics while I’m in a bad mood to make me blow up, and when they succeed, they will blame everything on me. They know I’m easily tired and irritable, they just don’t care, and they will use it to make me even more miserable, and to make ME the problem.
I am an adult and I live in really crappy (seriously) roads in the deep end of the woods in the countryside. I’ve moved out almost two years ago, and they (especially my parents) still keep doing this to me. They act like I’m so unpredictable and difficult, when all they are doing is acting naïve to their child’s personal problems. I tried discussing my experiences of depression to my parents, but they kept dismissing as either I’m just faking it or I’m just making excuses to get away with my “unruly” behavior. Even if I’ve moved out, I’m still far away from the nearest town, which takes at least half an hour to get there by vehicle. Growing up, I got involved in fights my parents caused, I got so angry that I told them that I would move out and call the police on them. They attempted to keep me in line by claiming the police would only take ME away and that I would have nowhere to live but the insane asylum.
They accuse me of caring about no one else but myself, when clearly they didn’t give a **** over what they did to make me angry in the first place. They would constantly ground me for the fights and things THEY caused. They would apologize later on, but soon after they would go right back to the same behavior. But that was on a rare occasion. Usually they expect me to apologize for things I didn’t start, and it didn’t matter if they forgave me or not, they will lecture me on how much of a horrible daughter they’ve raised and tell me whenever I have my stuff back, I “turn into a viper”. They think having a fortunate and privileged child is spoiling them and is the spawn of Satan. They would sometimes call me the devil whenever they succeed in abusing me. I was “spoiled” growing up so it was no wonder they constantly labeled me as a drama queen and an ungrateful brat. They would also use corporal punishment when I “acted out”.
I’m literally crying over all this, because it deeply traumatized me growing up and it still does. I had so much fear discussing this here and I feel I’m going to get reprimanded for what I’ve described. But I have no choice. Any support will help. Thank you.