Dear brother, I too suffer from great depression, I despise the world and everything in it, my life as a child was literally hell! If i did not have my younger brother i am sure i would be dead now, but when i look at the world through the eyes of the LORD, look at all he has created and all that he has made, look at anything the detail is precise and amazing, i cannot create a mere cell or atom, where the LORD has created all things and can do ANYTHING! just thinking about it is amazing. I am still at school and everyday i wake up atleast an hour before i have to leave, and lie there thinking, why why why im i going to school, i cannot stand it, school gives me great sadness, i would do anything just not school, im not a smart boy im a muscle man and i have missed out on atleast a year of school so it is so hard to do my work. One day while lying in bed i suddenly had an urge to read and the first thing i saw was the bible.
I began to read aout jesus and i read nearly the entire book of matthew, afterwards i felt so good i actually wanted to go to school, just reading of the many things jesus did made me appreciate life and school in particular so much more. After this I began to read the bible every morning especially when i was feeling down, i read anything in there mostly the psalms, but when i read the bible i pray and i feel so much better and slowly i do not read the bible as much in the mornings mostly at night. I do not know whether this will help you, but it does me and i hope so for you aswell. I believe we just need that little reminder to help us do what needs to be done. Do you go to a youth group brother? if not i reccomend you go to one, everytime i leave them i feel like i can do anything and am filled with intoxicating joy.
To sum this up if you do not wish to read all of this, just find something to remind you of the LORD that you can do every morning or when you need it to help you through the day. If you do not know the LORD very well then i employ you to come to know him better all it takes is putting in 5 minutes everyday ( so little) and gradually you will see him and praise him more.
If you have not read the book of Job in the bible i reccomend you do.
I hope this has helped you atleast a tiny bit. My heart goes out to you brother, May the light of the LORD shine on your life, always.
arrivederci elmino! :laughingsmiley: