What If Your First Time Around Was Based On Feelings?

The first time around here means the first full attempt at seeking God. What if I sought God and confessed Jesus as Savior out of feelings? Should I have been confessing out of experience, maturity and from my spirit rather than doing it emotionally?

I have not loved Jesus more and hated sin at the same time. I've been licentious with a few sins. I feel like I've been, unknowingly, and without trying, a liar and a hypocrite during my first time around.

What's happening here? I want to repent and start all over. I need God's love to penetrate so I can believe it for me. I need God!
 
Most who are first saved, are pretty literally saved. In a more figurative sense, they are drowning in an ocean of sin, and are pulled out of the water without having any real or genuine way to understand the full ramification of what has happened. From that point, more is expected from you, but I think that if the Holy Spirit would fully convict a person of every wrong they ever committed, it might tear them apart. The Holy Spirit convicts us to brings us closer to God by making us aware of sin in our lives that keep us separated from God. That conviction makes us sick of the sin, it exposes it to the darkness. Guilt however is counterproductive, and usually comes from the World. It makes us feel unworthy of God's grace and can cause Christians to give up. Repentance doesn't mean starting over, it means picking a new path. Repentance happens when you truly make God the most important thing in your world, even more important than sin. It is giving up that part of yourself that desires things contrary to God's will. For me, I had to really hit rock bottom to understand that. Others have been blessed enough to find repentance without the failure.
 
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