When you feel "left out"

shineyourlight8

Sr Encourager Mod
Staff member
Senior Moderator
"But, God," I wrote angrily in my journal. "Why does my group of 'friends' not care that I'm no longer part of that group?"
My heart hurt that I didn't matter in a group of friends I was a part of for 10 years.
I can't be mad at God, but I was mad at always being the person that people soon forget about.

"Katie," God gently reminds me. "You belonged in the group, even though they didn't realize it. The functionality of the body of Christ is not based on feelings. A piece of that group is now missing because you're no longer part of it."

"I don't get it," I responded. "How is a piece missing?"

God was silent for a second. Then he continued, "Think of hand sanitizer. You put on hand sanitizer and realize there's a paper cut there that you didn't know was there before. Your group is broken, just like your skin. But, your hand doesn't understand the sting until the hand sanitizer hits it. Your group of friends haven't felt the sting yet, just like that papercut hasn't felt the sting until hand sanitizer hits it. But, just because it doesn't sting yet, doesn't mean it's not broken. You belong."

I sigh in relief, knowing that God is going to use this to help me to feel like I belong in the church.

You belong. When you depart from a church, a group of friends, so on and so forth, a piece of the body of Christ is missing. You matter. The group is broken, because you aren't a part of it.

What helps you when you feel like you haven't felt like you've belonged?
 
What helps you when you feel like you haven't felt like you've belonged?

Hello shineyourlight8;

I find what helps is to contact one person out of the former group and meet them for coffee or lunch, (not to pry or get information about the others,) but only to reinforce the friendship between the two of you. This can instill a positive testimony as your friend rejoins the group.

I've always been a joiner of meeting new people and making friends. Applying this in the church is a bigger blessing. But the ones that moved on leaving me behind, I confess to the Lord that I still love them and choose to let them go, allowing the Lord to let me go and move on.

Solomon gave wise teaching about friends. When we pray to the Lord, there are always more friends to be made as the Lord crosses paths. Friends need the Lord.

Proverbs 17:9,
9 Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

Proverbs 18:24, 24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

God bless you, shine, and your family.




 
"But, God," I wrote angrily in my journal. "Why does my group of 'friends' not care that I'm no longer part of that group?"
My heart hurt that I didn't matter in a group of friends I was a part of for 10 years.
I can't be mad at God, but I was mad at always being the person that people soon forget about.

"Katie," God gently reminds me. "You belonged in the group, even though they didn't realize it. The functionality of the body of Christ is not based on feelings. A piece of that group is now missing because you're no longer part of it."

"I don't get it," I responded. "How is a piece missing?"

God was silent for a second. Then he continued, "Think of hand sanitizer. You put on hand sanitizer and realize there's a paper cut there that you didn't know was there before. Your group is broken, just like your skin. But, your hand doesn't understand the sting until the hand sanitizer hits it. Your group of friends haven't felt the sting yet, just like that papercut hasn't felt the sting until hand sanitizer hits it. But, just because it doesn't sting yet, doesn't mean it's not broken. You belong."

I sigh in relief, knowing that God is going to use this to help me to feel like I belong in the church.

You belong. When you depart from a church, a group of friends, so on and so forth, a piece of the body of Christ is missing. You matter. The group is broken, because you aren't a part of it.

What helps you when you feel like you haven't felt like you've belonged?
Katie, maybe you are a group "starter" and not a group "finisher". Meaning that you have the ability to start a new group which is needed. That other group may be fine for those still in it. We have all heard the phrase "when one door closes, another door opens". I have a feeling that you have a fire for something else. Be ready for God's work. Exciting times ahead! What helps me is knowing that God has something new even when it seems a dark time in life.
Lots of blessings your way
 
What helps you when you feel like you haven't felt like you've belonged?
Several times in my life, something has snapped or changed in me and I’ve discovered I am no longer the person I’ve always been and the friendship withers.

Often the friends I have at that time sense that I now just don’t fit in the same way with the group as I always have. My interests, expectations or desires have shifted.

I’ve come to value this as God’s way of telling me it’s time to leave the comfortable and take on a new challenge. Making new friends can certainly be a challenge but it can be rewarding also. There are no shortcuts, a support group must be built one person at a time, the same as a brick house is built one brick at a time.

But it needn’t be daunting, we just have to make one connection, with one person, and the foundation is laid.

Someone, somewhere out there, needs a friend, right now, this very minute, we only need to find them and be a friend to them first and they will be a friend to us in kind.

God bless you
 
What helps you when you feel like you haven't felt like you've belonged?
Yes I agree with the others. We grow apart if we don’t have anything in common anymore.
I think it’s good to make friends on the basis of what we are seeking from friendships.
When I was growing up I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted and ended up just drifting around. My current hobbies and interests dictate where I choose to make friends now. Although it’s not static. Church friends are necessary too as we move through our journey and seek God in everything.

When I look back on severed friendships it’s been a good thing as they wasn’t amounting to anything. I grieved what’s familiar, because i didnt have any idea of the future of where I was heading.

But now I’m Making room for new friends based on where I am currently heading in my hobbies., I pray it will open up deeper and more satisfying relationships.

Praying your your next circle of friends will be more satisfying, rich and rewarding experiences Katie🙏🙏🙏❤️
 
Hi shineyourlight8
The journey of life has .any twists and turns. Perhaps God has something better in store for you.
Maybe you can serve Him better with new friends. I think you will find it easy to make friends that you fit in with.

You probably feel lonely just now but once you meet new people that will pass. It can be exciting - a new beginnng.

Praying you find friendships.
God Bless
 
God has never spoken to me about hand sanitizer or paper cuts before?! Maybe you are part of the 'skin'?? I don't know what part of the body I am. Maybe the fingernail? I'm always being cut.

He does say this though --in 1 Corinthians 12

14For the body does not consist of one part, but of many. 15If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?

18But in fact, God has arranged the members of the body, every one of them, according to His design. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

21The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you.” Nor can the head say to the feet, “I do not need you.” 22On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts we consider less honorable, we treat with greater honor. And our unpresentable parts are treated with special modesty, 24whereas our presentable parts have no such need.

But God has composed the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its members should have mutual concern for one another. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
 
If you are the 'skin' your are very important covering for the body. Also if God is telling you you are part of the skin of the hand well that is one of the most important parts of the body!

Without you, the body of Christ has to wear rubber gloves.
 
"But, God," I wrote angrily in my journal. "Why does my group of 'friends' not care that I'm no longer part of that group?"
My heart hurt that I didn't matter in a group of friends I was a part of for 10 years.
I can't be mad at God, but I was mad at always being the person that people soon forget about.

"Katie," God gently reminds me. "You belonged in the group, even though they didn't realize it. The functionality of the body of Christ is not based on feelings. A piece of that group is now missing because you're no longer part of it."

"I don't get it," I responded. "How is a piece missing?"

God was silent for a second. Then he continued, "Think of hand sanitizer. You put on hand sanitizer and realize there's a paper cut there that you didn't know was there before. Your group is broken, just like your skin. But, your hand doesn't understand the sting until the hand sanitizer hits it. Your group of friends haven't felt the sting yet, just like that papercut hasn't felt the sting until hand sanitizer hits it. But, just because it doesn't sting yet, doesn't mean it's not broken. You belong."

I sigh in relief, knowing that God is going to use this to help me to feel like I belong in the church.

You belong. When you depart from a church, a group of friends, so on and so forth, a piece of the body of Christ is missing. You matter. The group is broken, because you aren't a part of it.

What helps you when you feel like you haven't felt like you've belonged?

This brought to my mind the fact that many people call others their "friends," people who would never lay down their lives for those who erroneously called them "friends."

I've raised my boys up with the understanding that they will have few, if any, TRUE friends, for there are few out there in the world who would lay down their life for another. Most are selfish and inconsiderate of others.

The ONLY way we can control our environment is in who WE choose to be individually. Others may not lay down their lives for me, but I would for them:

John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

See that? It's not about receiving that love, but rather a willingness to GIVE it, letting it radiate outward to others. Therein is the only way one may ever find himself on the receiving end of that same love that truly classifies as "friendship."

MM
 
I think Jesus related to his disciples individually and personally rather than as a group of all the same people.

The problem of group identity can be nobody sees your unique individual contribution or role. They only really see the bigger parts or the more obvious aspects, plus in some groups you are like a cog in a wheel. But that one cog may be extremely important. If you want to see it as machinery.

I think the body analogy appeals to those who see things holistically (as God does, he wants a Holy people, which is why he send the Holy Spirit) . Medical science tends to break things down into parts and be reductive. These days, you can have liver and kidney and heart transplants. You can have fake breasts. You can cut things out of your body and still function, amputate a leg, and have a bionic replacement.

Instead of being organic and looking after your body and have it grow and heal, people are inclined to cut and butcher their bodies. I think it is sad, as the body of Christ is being flogged and crucfied all over again, left bleeding instead of being protected, wrapped and healed.
 
Back
Top