Why is brutal honesty so highly encouraged when it just hurts others?

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Siloam said:
"humanity's intention of misery upon others"

Who are you referring to by humanity's intention? If you are referring to our Lord's intentions, I would point out that Christ was both fully human AND fully God. The Godhood of Christ is not an incidental thing. But by your post, you are explicitly not talking about God.

Regardless, it is precisely the involvement of the Pharisees and Sadducees in opposition to Jesus and Jesus's ministry among common man of Israel that prompted the Rebuke.
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Smh I am referring to man‘s intentions (the people that were created on the seventh day) and the incidence of corruption for self-righteous purposes. I am talking about how the human mind is corrupt and uses brutal honesty as a manner to make others look bad. This is what I’m referring to in regards to self-righteousness.

And as for the last paragraph, when I say that the involvement of the Pharisees and Sadducees is out of the question, I’m basically saying my original post had much less to do with what the stories of the Bible tell, and more to do with real life circumstances and relationships.
 
Ephesians 4:
29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.
32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.


This is good advice for everyone, though, not everyone is Christian nor even wants to try to be. Ephesians, and all of Paul's letters, were to Christians. To your point of brutal truth or honesty, verses 31 and 32 can both refer to honest conversation, except for the slander. Quite often honesty is really just someone's opinion, what they believe to be true. I can say someone is ugly, but that is just my opinion. So would be calling someone lazy, overweight, loud, mean, the list goes on. Take that into account when they give you their brutal honesty.

Now make sure that you take this scripture to heart in your own demeanor. We should always point a scripture at ourselves first to take stock of our own frailties before we encourage other people with them, taking care to not throw them at them.
 
When someone speaks harshly to you, then you need to evaluate what they have said, if it is true and you agree that it is a negative thing then change yourself or whatever it was. If it is not true then leave it in the past where it belongs. I would like for someone to please give an example of brutal honesty
because to me honesty = truth. Everyone has an opinion but that does not mean it is truth or honesty. What I have read here sounds more like oppression
which has nothing to do with honesty.
 
Dave F. said:
When someone speaks harshly to you, then you need to evaluate what they have said, if it is true and you agree that it is a negative thing then change yourself or whatever it was. If it is not true then leave it in the past where it belongs. I would like for someone to please give an example of brutal honesty
because to me honesty = truth. Everyone has an opinion but that does not mean it is truth or honesty. What I have read here sounds more like oppression
which has nothing to do with honesty.
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Why would anyone give an example of brutal honesty that matches your definition of honesty when it has literally no link with it in general other than them both having the word honesty? In other words, the entire meaning of the word brutal honesty in general is entirely different from what you perceive to be the truth. Also known as people make a huge mistake by mistaking harsh unnecessary opinionated feedback as the truth.

By what you have detailed, your description is completely contrasting your ideals. Think about it. You have stated that if someone says something very harsh about another person, the latter has to evaluate it as if the person who said it’s biased opinion were to be treated as a fact. Then you stated that you wanted a REAL example of brutal honesty because you believed it matches THE (aka your) definition of honesty. And THEN, you started complaining that all the examples of brutal honesty is just oppression. I want to fact-check all of it by saying, brutal honesty does not exist. It is just harsh opinionated negativity destined to hurt others to please the self-hating ego disguised to what people believe to be brutal honesty. This argument is done.
 
PTSDintheAsylum said:
I want to fact-check all of it by saying, brutal honesty does not exist. It is just harsh opinionated negativity destined to hurt others to please the self-hating ego disguised to what people believe to be brutal honesty. This argument is done.
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Now you are understanding what I was getting at. I agree 100% Brutal honesty does not exist.
 
PTSDintheAsylum said:
So honesty is NOT brutal if it is intended to make the recipient miserable or cause a catastrophe?
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PTSDintheAsylum said:
Actually, I’m talking about not the use of God’s but of humanity’s intention of misery upon others. The involvement regarding the Pharisees and Sadducees is particularly out of the question.
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“If it is intended” and “humanity’s intention of misery upon other”…both involve knowing the motives of another.
This is something beyond our pay grade as human beings but was well in the scope of Jesus’ ability…

Matthew 9:4 And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts?

John 2:24 But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men,
John 2:25 And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.
 
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PTSDintheAsylum said:
Why would anyone give an example of brutal honesty that matches your definition of honesty when it has literally no link with it in general other than them both having the word honesty? In other words, the entire meaning of the word brutal honesty in general is entirely different from what you perceive to be the truth. Also known as people make a huge mistake by mistaking harsh unnecessary opinionated feedback as the truth.

By what you have detailed, your description is completely contrasting your ideals. Think about it. You have stated that if someone says something very harsh about another person, the latter has to evaluate it as if the person who said it’s biased opinion were to be treated as a fact. Then you stated that you wanted a REAL example of brutal honesty because you believed it matches THE (aka your) definition of honesty. And THEN, you started complaining that all the examples of brutal honesty is just oppression. I want to fact-check all of it by saying, brutal honesty does not exist. It is just harsh opinionated negativity destined to hurt others to please the self-hating ego disguised to what people believe to be brutal honesty. This argument is done.
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growing up did your parents use brutal honesty? you do that again and... we did do it again we soon found out the and. which was not pleasant..

telling someone the truth dont have to be derogatory. But some times it needs to be said and no it probably doesn't sit very well .

my 2 cents when i see parents tell a child 5 times you better not and ignore them. the parents are guilty.


in Bible Christians are watchman if we see danger we must speak up. otherwise if we say nothing your blood is upon our hands. if something happens
 
forgiven61 said:
growing up did your parents use brutal honesty? you do that again and... we did do it again we soon found out the and. which was not pleasant..

telling someone the truth dont have to be derogatory. But some times it needs to be said and no it probably doesn't sit very well .

my 2 cents when i see parents tell a child 5 times you better not and ignore them. the parents are guilty.


in Bible Christians are watchman if we see danger we must speak up. otherwise if we say nothing your blood is upon our hands. if something happens
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My parents used it a lot on me when I was growing up, and even more so to this day. They, mostly my mother, would get angry at me for not doing the simplest of things because she assumes I am just lazy. I have struggled with depression for years and I have a lack of motivation of doing anything anymore. She uses her clean freak logic to guilt me and make me look stupid by exaggerating the condition of my house looking like a rotten pig’s pen, when in reality it’s only just a little clutter on the countertops and that’s it. I’m aware of placing hard objects in a manner where no one would step on or sit on for that manner.

It didn’t matter if I told her that I don’t have all the time in the world to do everything, she replies that I’m just using my mental illness as an excuse to justify my “laziness” and abuse “poor old mommy” and make her do all the work. I’ve moved it a couple of years ago and yet she does it all over again when she comes over. I couldn’t stand to hear her whining to me over the “huge” mess I made and how much she hates it. I was so tired of all the times I had to put up with her yelling at me over one little thing that’s out of place and one little spot that isn’t cleaned, I ended up losing my sanity and hoarding my new house at one moment. I was all hysterical and self-destructive and non-hoarders would think I’m out of my mind, but my experiences are fully justified.

Even worse, I lacked so much on motivation that I would go for days without bathing. I was aware I smelled awful but I was way too exhausted to do anything about it, and it would take me days for me to gain enough energy to have a sense of hygiene. But what does mom think? She just complains as usual that I’m way too unhygienic and filthy and boys don’t like a dirty vagina. She then complains over how slouchy and unfolded my clothes are. Again, cannot get her to understand my conditions because she’ll only see me as making excuses to treating her like crap.

It gets annoying for me since I’ve had all of this ingrained in my skull and yet still get constantly bashed on treating me like I have a pea for a brain. Right, I’ve said enough.
 
PTSDintheAsylum said:
I have struggled with depression for years and I have a lack of motivation of doing anything anymore.
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dont know anything about depression. i get bummed out but not to a serious point .. i dont know your case or life. it all depends on the way its being said . i am a minister and preach Sundays.. i tyr to chose my words wisely see i dont want to sound like a radical but i also dont want to fail to speak the truth in LOVE .


Even worse, I lacked so much on motivation that I would go for days without bathing. I was aware I smelled awful but I was way too exhausted to do anything about it, and it would take me days for me to gain enough energy to have a sense of hygiene. But what does mom think? She just complains as usual that I’m way too unhygienic and filthy and boys don’t like a dirty vagina. She then complains over how slouchy and unfolded my clothes are. Again, cannot get her to understand my conditions because she’ll only see me as making excuses to treating her like crap.
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i dont think anyone in a forum can help you. i suggest Christian counselor. if i may ask have you been born again/saved . a new creation in Christ.

from reading your post i would say you been wanting to unload with a vent .i cant offer you any help only a prayer you do need help to sort through all this . that is not putting you down
 
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