Struggling Christian, Begging For Mercy. Please...please Help Me

To start, hi, I'm Jared; I'm 21. This is going to be long, but please help me, I'm desperate. If you start reading, please commit to reading the entirety. I've been a Christian my whole life. This is taking me so much courage to get this out into the open, because to every other normal person, I would be considered a freak of nature. (I seem "normal" on the outside...but my brain is a literal hurricane Katrina of pure bat-crazyness...) But I can't live alone with this anymore.

I have never been officially diagnosed, but I can tell that I have severe psychosis. On top of that, I was born gay. I had sex with a guy once, and I am completely ashamed of myself...I promised to God that I would never do it again, but that promise is just getting harder and harder to keep. I am almost sure that I will most likely break it at some point in the future. What if I mess up? I know the Bible states that if you believe in Jesus as savior, you will be saved. But it also says in another part that it's NOT by faith alone - you have to repent and stop sinning. But for me it's literally impossible. I'm addicted to porn, and I was like this ever since I was about 8. I have begged, and cried my eyes out to Jesus my whole entire life but I feel no change, I can't beat it because I am so insane in the head.

The Bible also states that the "afflicted" will be saved no matter what. Do you think I fall under that category? I'm certainly afflicted with something truly nasty and of the Devil. I want to be with God when I die more than anything in the world, and I don't want Him to cast me away from Him.

I REALLY want Him to love me with all his heart and tell me I don't have to worry anymore. That I don't have to live in fear of Hell. All I want is for Him to greet me with a hug and tell me it's over. I'm crying my eyes out as I type this...Trust me, I don't want to break my promise to God. It's the worst feeling in the world to betray God like that. It tears me APART. But the lust is just CRAZY...I have no sexual desire towards women whatsoever so I'm just boiling in lust for years upon years, unable to quench unless it's a guy.

Will Jesus save me knowing what I'm going through, knowing how much I want Him to cleanse my mind into sanity after death? I beg Jesus almost every single day. I really hope He understands and that the angels are rooting for me, please, someone help me

Also, I have experienced a few possible miracles in my life that could be God trying to maybe tell me something. Anyone who's reading, what do you think? I was once sent to the hospital fom a severe allergic reaction. It was so bad, my heart rate was at 285, and 300 is for sure death. The nurses said that I had a 1% chance to live and even told my mom that it was likely that I wouldn't pull through. You know it's bad when they come to that. I lived and they described it as the definition of a real miracle.

Not too much longer after that, I was crying into the bathroom mirror looking at myself, and I begged God to show me a sign. The NEXT night I was in my car playing my music through my phone, when it suddenly stopped working. Keep in mind that this is the only time it has ever stopped working for no reason. I unplugged, reset, etc. to no avail. So I turned on my radio instead. The first song that was on out of the millions and millions of possibilities, was called I'm God. At the end of the song, the person who states the name of the song said "...And that was I'm God." It was just so surreal...This was literally the night after I asked for a sign. You should look it up because it is really amazing. It's astoundingly beautiful and blissful. You will love it, guaranteed. It will truly touch your soul.

I also had a dream a few months ago of an old-fashioned projector showing random slides, and one popped up of Jesus on the cross and under it read "You are Saved." I immediately woke up with shock at that. I also had a dream a few months before that one where I was talking to Jesus in Heaven and it felt like real life.

I'm just so confused T_T
 
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To start, hi, I'm Jared; I'm 21. This is going to be long, but please help me, I'm desperate. If you start reading, please commit to reading the entirety. I've been a Christian my whole life. This is taking me so much courage to get this out into the open, because to every other normal person, I would be considered a freak of nature. (I seem "normal" on the outside...but my brain is a literal hurricane Katrina of pure bat-crazyness...) But I can't live alone with this anymore.

I have never been officially diagnosed, but I can tell that I have severe psychosis. On top of that, I was born gay. I had sex with a guy once, and I am completely ashamed of myself...I promised to God that I would never do it again, but that promise is just getting harder and harder to keep. I am almost sure that I will most likely break it at some point in the future. What if I mess up? I know the Bible states that if you believe in Jesus as savior, you will be saved. But it also says in another part that it's NOT by faith alone - you have to repent and stop sinning. But for me it's literally impossible. I'm addicted to porn, and I was like this ever since I was about 8. I have begged, and cried my eyes out to Jesus my whole entire life but I feel no change, I can't beat it because I am so insane in the head.

The Bible also states that the "afflicted" will be saved no matter what. Do you think I fall under that category? I'm certainly afflicted with something truly nasty and of the Devil. I want to be with God when I die more than anything in the world, and I don't want Him to cast me away from Him.

I REALLY want Him to love me with all his heart and tell me I don't have to worry anymore. That I don't have to live in fear of Hell. All I want is for Him to greet me with a hug and tell me it's over. I'm crying my eyes out as I type this...Trust me, I don't want to break my promise to God. It's the worst feeling in the world to betray God like that. It tears me APART. But the lust is just CRAZY...I have no sexual desire towards women whatsoever so I'm just boiling in lust for years upon years, unable to quench unless it's a guy.

Will Jesus save me knowing what I'm going through, knowing how much I want Him to cleanse my mind into sanity after death? I beg Jesus almost every single day. I really hope He understands and that the angels are rooting for me, please, someone help me

Also, I have experienced a few possible miracles in my life that could be God trying to maybe tell me something. Anyone who's reading, what do you think? I was once sent to the hospital fom a severe allergic reaction. It was so bad, my heart rate was at 285, and 300 is for sure death. The nurses said that I had a 1% chance to live and even told my mom that it was likely that I wouldn't pull through. You know it's bad when they come to that. I lived and they described it as the definition of a real miracle.

Not too much longer after that, I was crying into the bathroom mirror looking at myself, and I begged God to show me a sign. The NEXT night I was in my car playing my music through my phone, when it suddenly stopped working. Keep in mind that this is the only time it has ever stopped working for no reason. I unplugged, reset, etc. to no avail. So I turned on my radio instead. The first song that was on out of the millions and millions of possibilities, was called I'm God. At the end of the song, the person who states the name of the song said "...And that was I'm God." It was just so surreal...This was literally the night after I asked for a sign. You should look it up because it is really amazing. It's astoundingly beautiful and blissful. You will love it, guaranteed. It will truly touch your soul.

I also had a dream a few months ago of an old-fashioned projector showing random slides, and one popped up of Jesus on the cross and under it read "You are Saved." I immediately woke up with shock at that. I also had a dream a few months before that one where I was talking to Jesus in Heaven and it felt like real life.

I'm just so confused T_T
Hi JJOB,

I first want to know if you fully understand the gospel. When Jesus took sin upon himself, he took all sin upon himself, not just the sins someone does before they are saved. Jesus paid the penalty for all your sins (past, present, and future). Your salvation is not dependent on anything you do except believing by faith (trusting God that what he says is truth). You must believe that Jesus was sacrificed for every single sin you will commit in this life. Do you understand that your sin nature was crucified on the cross with Christ? When Christ died and was buried and then rose from the dead he raised the spiritually dead to new life in him? That all are spiritually dead because of sin within them and that "the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord?" (Romans 6:23). All unsaved are dead because they are in sin (the death being separation from life which is God), and they can only be made alive in Christ who led a sinless life. When someone believes that not only Jesus died for them, but rose from the dead for them, they become risen into a new creation in Christ being one with Jesus through faith, now having his mind, his Spirit, and being a part of his body? So first, do you understand that it is not what you do, but believing by faith that it is what God has done for you?

Everything in this life is spiritual both good and bad. Even though someone is risen in Christ spiritually, they still have a physical body and that body will either be submitted to God by faith when a person utilizes their faith to submit their whole selves to God or submitted to sin if the person lives as though they are still dead, even though they aren't.

The first thing you should do is have faith about your salvation and know that Jesus really did save you. It sounds like you have done this and then only later doubted your salvation. It sounds like God has given you assurance through dreams, but you can't normally hear him because you are listening to the other negative voices that you hear. Like Eve in the garden who listened to the serpent rather than what God told her. As a saved person you are a new creation in Christ. yet you were confessing to yourself what Satan said about you even though it was a lie. In Christ your old self is dead (meaning the confused psychotic self is dead). Any voice that says otherwise is not of God and is a lie. Don't believe or say that you are psychotic. Believe God who says, " For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 timothy 1:7). Don't believe or say that you are powerless. Believe God who says, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13). Don't believe or say that God doesn't hear you or doesn't care about you. Believe God who tells you to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). Do not believe or say that you can't handle this situation. Believe God who says, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). Don't believe or say that you can't control your mind. Believe God who tells you, "demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and... take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Believe God, Believe God, Believe God. In him you are powerful because you have his strength. Fighting your addictions on your own is why you are experiencing this problem. When you pray you must have faith that you have received already. When you pray by faith and in God's will, God manifests the solution, healing, blessing etc. in the spiritual realm and your faith brings it into the material realm. If you pray but don't believe that God will do it for you, it won't be done because it is your faith that God uses. Even Jesus when on earth went to a town and the bible tells us that, "He could do no miracle there except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6And He wondered at their unbelief" (Mark 6:5-6). It was the unbelief of the people that stopped the manifestation of God's miracles.

Rather than try to fix all your problems, fix what you believe. Have faith, for God gave everyone the measure of faith, but you need to use it. Have faith that you are a new creation. Have faith that God will remove your sinful desires. Have faith that God will help you. Have faith that you will no longer listen to evil voices. Have faith that you have a sound mind. Have faith that God has taken all your sins on himself, and you have power over all sin since you live in Christ. Have faith that God not only hears your prayers, but answers them. Have faith that God loves you even though you sinned. Have faith that God has given you enough faith for everything you need. Have faith that you are alive in Christ and you submit your body joyfully and easily to God. Have faith that you only have Godly desires. Have faith for all that you need and then pray with that faith that God will work through his Holy Spirit to change you and enliven in you all that you are in him.

My prayers be with you.
 
Good news. He already loves you! "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8.

He wants you. "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9.

He was rescued people from similar stuff before. He has redeemed them and delivered them from sin! And He can do the same with you! "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor [f]effeminate, nor homosexuals,10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.11 Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God." 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

If you believe, you are saved. "But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart”—that is, the word of faith which we are preaching,9 [a]that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;10 for with the heart a person believes, [b]resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, [c]resulting in salvation." Romans 10:8-10.

Someone saved is born anew. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20. Their old, sin filled self is no more! A new creation, a new start, a new life! You are born again as a new being - and this time as a child of God!

And children of God, filled with the Spirit, overcome by Christ. They are set free - not by their own efforts, but by the Strength of Christ! ""I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5. "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9.

Praying...
 
Your thinking is all messed up. Pornography will do that. Scientists are saying now that it rewires your brain. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/10441027/How-porn-is-rewiring-our-brains.html) Sin is at the door ready to pounce on you. God warned Cain before he murdered his brother.

Genesis 4:6-7 (NET) Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why is your expression downcast? Is it not true that if you do what is right, you will be fine? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. It desires to dominate you, but you must subdue it.”

I wrote a whole thread on this process of overcoming: http://www.christianforumsite.com/threads/law-and-death.37321

You've built up many years of rewiring and God can and will help, but you have to stop giving into your flesh. If you are saved then you will not be at peace until you deal with the sin in your life. But remember this:

2 Timothy 1:7 (NET) For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.

The word for power is dunamis and is the root word for dynamite. It's the same word used to describe the power God gives out in miracles. It's the word virtue in this next verse:

Mark 5:30 (KJV) And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes?

I hope this helps. God will help you, but you MUST stop playing with fire and He will give you a sound mind.
 
To start, hi, I'm Jared; I'm 21. This is going to be long, but please help me, I'm desperate. If you start reading, please commit to reading the entirety. I've been a Christian my whole life. This is taking me so much courage to get this out into the open, because to every other normal person, I would be considered a freak of nature. (I seem "normal" on the outside...but my brain is a literal hurricane Katrina of pure bat-crazyness...) But I can't live alone with this anymore.

I have never been officially diagnosed, but I can tell that I have severe psychosis. On top of that, I was born gay. I had sex with a guy once, and I am completely ashamed of myself...I promised to God that I would never do it again, but that promise is just getting harder and harder to keep. I am almost sure that I will most likely break it at some point in the future. What if I mess up? I know the Bible states that if you believe in Jesus as savior, you will be saved. But it also says in another part that it's NOT by faith alone - you have to repent and stop sinning. But for me it's literally impossible. I'm addicted to porn, and I was like this ever since I was about 8. I have begged, and cried my eyes out to Jesus my whole entire life but I feel no change, I can't beat it because I am so insane in the head.

The Bible also states that the "afflicted" will be saved no matter what. Do you think I fall under that category? I'm certainly afflicted with something truly nasty and of the Devil. I want to be with God when I die more than anything in the world, and I don't want Him to cast me away from Him.

I REALLY want Him to love me with all his heart and tell me I don't have to worry anymore. That I don't have to live in fear of Hell. All I want is for Him to greet me with a hug and tell me it's over. I'm crying my eyes out as I type this...Trust me, I don't want to break my promise to God. It's the worst feeling in the world to betray God like that. It tears me APART. But the lust is just CRAZY...I have no sexual desire towards women whatsoever so I'm just boiling in lust for years upon years, unable to quench unless it's a guy.

Will Jesus save me knowing what I'm going through, knowing how much I want Him to cleanse my mind into sanity after death? I beg Jesus almost every single day. I really hope He understands and that the angels are rooting for me, please, someone help me

Also, I have experienced a few possible miracles in my life that could be God trying to maybe tell me something. Anyone who's reading, what do you think? I was once sent to the hospital fom a severe allergic reaction. It was so bad, my heart rate was at 285, and 300 is for sure death. The nurses said that I had a 1% chance to live and even told my mom that it was likely that I wouldn't pull through. You know it's bad when they come to that. I lived and they described it as the definition of a real miracle.

Not too much longer after that, I was crying into the bathroom mirror looking at myself, and I begged God to show me a sign. The NEXT night I was in my car playing my music through my phone, when it suddenly stopped working. Keep in mind that this is the only time it has ever stopped working for no reason. I unplugged, reset, etc. to no avail. So I turned on my radio instead. The first song that was on out of the millions and millions of possibilities, was called I'm God. At the end of the song, the person who states the name of the song said "...And that was I'm God." It was just so surreal...This was literally the night after I asked for a sign. You should look it up because it is really amazing. It's astoundingly beautiful and blissful. You will love it, guaranteed. It will truly touch your soul.

I also had a dream a few months ago of an old-fashioned projector showing random slides, and one popped up of Jesus on the cross and under it read "You are Saved." I immediately woke up with shock at that. I also had a dream a few months before that one where I was talking to Jesus in Heaven and it felt like real life.

I'm just so confused T_T
Thank you for pouring out your heart, dear one. You are saved and you will be with Jesus FOREVER one day, with a glorified body with NO SIN PRAISE GOD.

I love you brother.

I'm sorry I don't have advice... Just know you are loved and it's obvious you have the Holy Spirit living inside you.
 
To start, hi, I'm Jared; I'm 21. This is going to be long, but please help me, I'm desperate. If you start reading, please commit to reading the entirety. I've been a Christian my whole life. This is taking me so much courage to get this out into the open, because to every other normal person, I would be considered a freak of nature. (I seem "normal" on the outside...but my brain is a literal hurricane Katrina of pure bat-crazyness...) But I can't live alone with this anymore.

I have never been officially diagnosed, but I can tell that I have severe psychosis. On top of that, I was born gay. I had sex with a guy once, and I am completely ashamed of myself...I promised to God that I would never do it again, but that promise is just getting harder and harder to keep. I am almost sure that I will most likely break it at some point in the future. What if I mess up? I know the Bible states that if you believe in Jesus as savior, you will be saved. But it also says in another part that it's NOT by faith alone - you have to repent and stop sinning. But for me it's literally impossible. I'm addicted to porn, and I was like this ever since I was about 8. I have begged, and cried my eyes out to Jesus my whole entire life but I feel no change, I can't beat it because I am so insane in the head.

The Bible also states that the "afflicted" will be saved no matter what. Do you think I fall under that category? I'm certainly afflicted with something truly nasty and of the Devil. I want to be with God when I die more than anything in the world, and I don't want Him to cast me away from Him.

I REALLY want Him to love me with all his heart and tell me I don't have to worry anymore. That I don't have to live in fear of Hell. All I want is for Him to greet me with a hug and tell me it's over. I'm crying my eyes out as I type this...Trust me, I don't want to break my promise to God. It's the worst feeling in the world to betray God like that. It tears me APART. But the lust is just CRAZY...I have no sexual desire towards women whatsoever so I'm just boiling in lust for years upon years, unable to quench unless it's a guy.

Will Jesus save me knowing what I'm going through, knowing how much I want Him to cleanse my mind into sanity after death? I beg Jesus almost every single day. I really hope He understands and that the angels are rooting for me, please, someone help me

Also, I have experienced a few possible miracles in my life that could be God trying to maybe tell me something. Anyone who's reading, what do you think? I was once sent to the hospital fom a severe allergic reaction. It was so bad, my heart rate was at 285, and 300 is for sure death. The nurses said that I had a 1% chance to live and even told my mom that it was likely that I wouldn't pull through. You know it's bad when they come to that. I lived and they described it as the definition of a real miracle.

Not too much longer after that, I was crying into the bathroom mirror looking at myself, and I begged God to show me a sign. The NEXT night I was in my car playing my music through my phone, when it suddenly stopped working. Keep in mind that this is the only time it has ever stopped working for no reason. I unplugged, reset, etc. to no avail. So I turned on my radio instead. The first song that was on out of the millions and millions of possibilities, was called I'm God. At the end of the song, the person who states the name of the song said "...And that was I'm God." It was just so surreal...This was literally the night after I asked for a sign. You should look it up because it is really amazing. It's astoundingly beautiful and blissful. You will love it, guaranteed. It will truly touch your soul.

I also had a dream a few months ago of an old-fashioned projector showing random slides, and one popped up of Jesus on the cross and under it read "You are Saved." I immediately woke up with shock at that. I also had a dream a few months before that one where I was talking to Jesus in Heaven and it felt like real life.

I'm just so confused T_T

Hi bud. Always nice to read an honest / from the heart post. Thanks!

The best route to clear confusion is to look at the facts:

1. You are still alive so there is still hope for you.

2. God loves you now and forevermore. God even loves the devil in all his sin. God hates nobody!

3. The devil is not with God.... because the devil does not love God. Likewise when we continue in mortal sin, do we really love God? It is like a cheating spouse saying they still love their spouse. Now God is not dumb. He searches the depths of our heart and mind Jer 17:10.

4. Once off mortal sin is not the same as continuous mortal sin. I cannot stress that enough. We can forgive our spouse for once off unfaithfulness as it is possibly a moment of weakness / blindness / not true hearts intent. But to continue in it shows a change of heart.

5. Nobody is born gay. That is like saying being born with aggressive genes makes you a bully. You can have aggressive dna, but your will decides how you apply that. You make the choice to commit a gay act! If God thought you would be happier with a guy / had plans for you to be with a guy....He would would have made you a woman.

Before I was saved I use to commit a lot of sexual sin. The nuns at my Catholic school use to say I was going to hell. I use to say to them..'' If I am going to hell for what I like doing, then God created me for hell and I never had hope in the first place. I welcome hell over a twisted and sadistic God''. I just couldn't stop sinning. In my mind I wasn't hurting anyone. It seemed like life was so boring and pointless. The only thing that made it interesting was the sin. I craved it all the time.

Then...I started thinking about Jesus. The words the nuns used played on my mind daily. I use to ask myself 'what is the big deal about Jesus? He was a good guy who claimed to be God and got crucified for it''. I started thinking about Him more and more. Constantly saying to myself ''I am not a bad guy God. I want to do what is right but I can't stop doing what I crave''. A vision of Jesus would constantly appear in my mind. This was hard to ignore when I sinned. I started reading the bible to learn more about Jesus. I read how He put His life on the line to save the adulterer. How He came into down on a donkey. How He taught to turn the left cheek. He showed so much love and humility. Defied all human logic of eye for an eye. Being touched by this caused me to immediately abstain from the sin.

I got on my knees one night and asked Him into my life. The leap of 'faith' was trusting that He would give me the strength needed to live a life that pleases Him. To this day I have not returned to that sin. He has kept me in His fold and draws me closer to Him everyday with His love and goodness.

The choice is not heaven or hell. It is life with or without Jesus. James 4:8 leads to 2 Cor 5:17 and 1 Cor 12:3 = us having strength to deal with Rom 8:13.

I truly feel for you! Praying for you!
 
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I like Girls JJOB. I am a boob man myself. However..................... My eyes stay focused in front. That don't mean I don't like boobs, I just don't grab them when i see em.

I was born to like girls, and it almost don't seem fair.

You may think your gay, but you can do what I do. Stay focused on being the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Meditate on it!!!!

That is your issue, you entertain thoughts. You were told to cast down those thoughts. Just like I have to when they pop up. I know better than to lay in bed counting naked girls jumping over a fence to go to sleep. I use sheep instead, unless it starts to make me hungry then I picture Okra. That is some nasty fuzzy stuff.


scripture says be transformed by the renewing of your mind. More scripture, less begging. Begging will get nothing, you need to take action in what the Word says. Take actions and start mediating on being an new Creature (A new type of being) in Christ Jesus.

Go around saying that. I am in Christ, I have the mind of Christ, I am more than a conquer. what God don't like, I don't like.

James tells us our tongue is like the rudder of a great ship. It steers the course of our life. Get the word in your heart, the tongue speaks that abundance of your heart and it will turn the ship around. Your flesh will do what it's told and be transformed by the Word which will save your soul.

Soon those gay boys you see when you close your eyes at night with their little ballerina rainbow costumes will start to turn into sheep. Until you get hungry of course. Then think Okra.

I believe with you. Just do what your told to do. It will be OK.
 
I see Jared has not continued on this thread, in his desperate cry for help? If you read this Jared, and your desire for help is sincere? Then there is help, and if you are "born-again" and have the Spirit of God dwelling in you? Then you have the power to overcome the lust and desires that are bringing you into bandage. Faith is needed, you are able to believe that you are what God says you are, and not what your lust says you are, then you can be delivered from this lie " that you where born gay" That you must yield to these wicked things. Its all a lie and it has power over you because you "believe" a lie.
 
I see Jared has not continued on this thread, in his desperate cry for help? If you read this Jared, and your desire for help is sincere? Then there is help, and if you are "born-again" and have the Spirit of God dwelling in you? Then you have the power to overcome the lust and desires that are bringing you into bandage. Faith is needed, you are able to believe that you are what God says you are, and not what your lust says you are, then you can be delivered from this lie " that you where born gay" That you must yield to these wicked things. Its all a lie and it has power over you because you "believe" a lie.
Sorry, I've had to work a lot the past couple days, but I'm pretty sure I was though. I even have a memory as a 3-4 year old child desiring a man that was in front of me. It sounds crazy but I'm serious. Just like you're straight, it's just like saying try not to be straight and force yourself to like your same sex. It's literally that hard for me. My desire for men is just as strong as someone who is hetero if not stronger. Unless I wasn't born gay per se, but the Devil has worked in me since an extremely young age. I just don't know what to do
 
Sorry, I've had to work a lot the past couple days, but I'm pretty sure I was though. I even have a memory as a 3-4 year old child desiring a man that was in front of me. It sounds crazy but I'm serious. Just like you're straight, it's just like saying try not to be straight and force yourself to like your same sex. It's literally that hard for me. My desire for men is just as strong as someone who is hetero if not stronger. Unless I wasn't born gay per se, but the Devil has worked in me since an extremely young age. I just don't know what to do
Well are you willing to accept the advice of the Christians on this forum? Are you born-again? Do you have the Spirit of God? Or do you not know?
 
Hi JJOB,

I first want to know if you fully understand the gospel. When Jesus took sin upon himself, he took all sin upon himself, not just the sins someone does before they are saved. Jesus paid the penalty for all your sins (past, present, and future). Your salvation is not dependent on anything you do except believing by faith (trusting God that what he says is truth). You must believe that Jesus was sacrificed for every single sin you will commit in this life. Do you understand that your sin nature was crucified on the cross with Christ? When Christ died and was buried and then rose from the dead he raised the spiritually dead to new life in him? That all are spiritually dead because of sin within them and that "the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord?" (). All unsaved are dead because they are in sin (the death being separation from life which is God), and they can only be made alive in Christ who led a sinless life. When someone believes that not only Jesus died for them, but rose from the dead for them, they become risen into a new creation in Christ being one with Jesus through faith, now having his mind, his Spirit, and being a part of his body? So first, do you understand that it is not what you do, but believing by faith that it is what God has done for you?

Everything in this life is spiritual both good and bad. Even though someone is risen in Christ spiritually, they still have a physical body and that body will either be submitted to God by faith when a person utilizes their faith to submit their whole selves to God or submitted to sin if the person lives as though they are still dead, even though they aren't.

The first thing you should do is have faith about your salvation and know that Jesus really did save you. It sounds like you have done this and then only later doubted your salvation. It sounds like God has given you assurance through dreams, but you can't normally hear him because you are listening to the other negative voices that you hear. Like Eve in the garden who listened to the serpent rather than what God told her. As a saved person you are a new creation in Christ. yet you were confessing to yourself what Satan said about you even though it was a lie. In Christ your old self is dead (meaning the confused psychotic self is dead). Any voice that says otherwise is not of God and is a lie. Don't believe or say that you are psychotic. Believe God who says, " For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 timothy 1:7). Don't believe or say that you are powerless. Believe God who says, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (). Don't believe or say that God doesn't hear you or doesn't care about you. Believe God who tells you to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (). Do not believe or say that you can't handle this situation. Believe God who says, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (). Don't believe or say that you can't control your mind. Believe God who tells you, "demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and... take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" ().

Believe God, Believe God, Believe God. In him you are powerful because you have his strength. Fighting your addictions on your own is why you are experiencing this problem. When you pray you must have faith that you have received already. When you pray by faith and in God's will, God manifests the solution, healing, blessing etc. in the spiritual realm and your faith brings it into the material realm. If you pray but don't believe that God will do it for you, it won't be done because it is your faith that God uses. Even Jesus when on earth went to a town and the bible tells us that, "He could do no miracle there except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6And He wondered at their unbelief" (). It was the unbelief of the people that stopped the manifestation of God's miracles.

Rather than try to fix all your problems, fix what you believe. Have faith, for God gave everyone the measure of faith, but you need to use it. Have faith that you are a new creation. Have faith that God will remove your sinful desires. Have faith that God will help you. Have faith that you will no longer listen to evil voices. Have faith that you have a sound mind. Have faith that God has taken all your sins on himself, and you have power over all sin since you live in Christ. Have faith that God not only hears your prayers, but answers them. Have faith that God loves you even though you sinned. Have faith that God has given you enough faith for everything you need. Have faith that you are alive in Christ and you submit your body joyfully and easily to God. Have faith that you only have Godly desires. Have faith for all that you need and then pray with that faith that God will work through his Holy Spirit to change you and enliven in you all that you are in him.

My prayers be with you.
To start, thank you all who are helping me. I truly appreciate your time and hope I can meet you in Heaven one day, looking back at this moment and rejoice in the presence of our Lord.

And to Olivia, I have doubted my Salvation a lot, not because I doubt what Jesus did for us on the cross at all, and of course I believe everything God says, but because the Bible says "even the demons believe, yet tremble." And other lines that say sinning will lead to Hell. I'm afraid that I may give in to temptation one day and break my promise which would lead me into a situation that can't be forgiven. Would God still forgive me if I break my promise? The guilt is...well there are no words for how it feels

It's like a tug of war. I desire God and not to sin but the desire of sin still lingers incredibly
Well are you willing to accept the advice of the Christians on this forum? Are you born-again? Do you have the Spirit of God? Or do you not know?
I really don't know how to be born-again, as even with praying to Jesus for help I still have this nasty desire that I can't get out of my mind. Does having this desire mean I'm not saved?
 
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You need to read what I wrote in comment #4. It's the only way you'll be free. And yes, the Scriptures say the sins of the father can be passed down to even the 3rd and 4th generation. While people are saying they are "born" homosexual, it's not what God intended. Just a generation ago homosexuality was such an evil in society, people would be killed when discovered. Those hidden sins were passed down. But that's no excuse either because Jesus said we are made FREE from these things through the death on the cross. We died with Christ and the war within is because of undealt sin. You must repent (μετανοέω Metanoeo Greek for change your mind) about how you think. All sin is addicting and you must learn to surrender to God and captivate every thought. It's a hard task. If you do not do that, you will be tempted and you will fall. You cannot be tempted by that which you don't want. When you understand how vial homosexuality is in God's eyes (calling it an abomination) then you'll begin to hate it too. YOU are the only one that can do this through Christ, trusting in Him, to help you. You must force your thinking to change. When you look at anyone, if your eyes go for the crotch or butt, you'll allowing lust in. What purpose does it serve to look there except to begin the process of firing up the imagination. Once that begins emotions and chemical reactions begin in the mind and we want to act on those imaginations. You MUST MUST MUST halt the process otherwise you'll forever live in condemnation and you'll never be free of this. That's the facts. You must obey. Read Romans 7. This war you're going through is in everyone's mind. We ALL go through this war of the flesh. This is why God says to meditate on His word DAY and NIGHT and sing in your heart songs, and to pray without ceasing - all these things occupy the mind and keeps it from wandering around. Daydreaming only invites the devil in and weakens the mind's ability to be pro-active.
 
Will Jesus save me knowing that I'm trying my best?

Your best isn't good enough. Salvation is not earned! It's a gift! It's FREE. The war you have is because though you may accept this gift, you're not allowing it to rule in your life, which still means you're not accepting His free gift of salvation! Repent, accept His gift of salvation and be FREE! Understand you cannot be free of sin until you accept this Gift and when you accept this gift it will change your life making you FREE!
 
To start, thank you all who are helping me. I truly appreciate your time and hope I can meet you in Heaven one day, looking back at this moment and rejoice in the presence of our Lord.

And to Olivia, I have doubted my Salvation a lot, not because I doubt what Jesus did for us on the cross at all, and of course I believe everything God says, but because the Bible says "even the demons believe, yet tremble." And other lines that say sinning will lead to Hell. I'm afraid that I may give in to temptation one day and break my promise which would lead me into a situation that can't be forgiven. Would God still forgive me if I break my promise? The guilt is...well there are no words for how it feels

It's like a tug of war. I desire God and not to sin but the desire of sin still lingers incredibly

I really don't know how to be born-again, as even with praying to Jesus for help I still have this nasty desire that I can't get out of my mind. Does having this desire mean I'm not saved?
Well, if you do not know that you are saved, you need that witness within you. I would be glad to speak to you in private, pray with you if you like and maybe find some believers in your area that could minister to you in a way that is not really possible on a forum.
 
Well are you willing to accept the advice of the Christians on this forum? Are you born-again? Do you have the Spirit of God? Or do you not know?
It's clear from his post he is. He obviously loves God. Just my opinion. :)
 
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Pray and ask Jesus Christ to enter your heart. Confess your sins, ask forgiveness and follow Jesus. Begin reading the Holy Bible and fellowship with other Christians. It sounds like the Holy Spirit has been working on you. Read Revelation 3:20 :)
 
It's clear from his post he is. He obviously loves God. Just my opinion. :)
It does sound that way and he very much needs to have the witness of the Holy Spirit and that will be his strength in the great battle he is facing. "know ye not that Holy Spirit dwells within you" is the core of our ability to overcome the lust of our flesh. That we have something greater than our sin, is the key to overcome that which keeps us bound.
 
To start, thank you all who are helping me. I truly appreciate your time and hope I can meet you in Heaven one day, looking back at this moment and rejoice in the presence of our Lord.

And to Olivia, I have doubted my Salvation a lot, not because I doubt what Jesus did for us on the cross at all, and of course I believe everything God says, but because the Bible says "even the demons believe, yet tremble." And other lines that say sinning will lead to Hell. I'm afraid that I may give in to temptation one day and break my promise which would lead me into a situation that can't be forgiven. Would God still forgive me if I break my promise? The guilt is...well there are no words for how it feels

It's like a tug of war. I desire God and not to sin but the desire of sin still lingers incredibly

I really don't know how to be born-again, as even with praying to Jesus for help I still have this nasty desire that I can't get out of my mind. Does having this desire mean I'm not saved?
Hi Jared,

First, do you recognize that every saved person has needed salvation because of their sin? In fact, every person is born with with a sin nature?

"Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me" (Psalm 51:5).

"As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one (Romans 3:10). Not even one person was righteous and without sin, only God who took on the form of a man to be perfection for us.

"Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned—...Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who is a pattern of the one to come" (Romans 5:12; Romans 5:14). This says that even if someone never broke any command they still are a sinner because Adams transgression caused spiritual death and separation from God that was passed down to all generations through him.

So even if you had never done any sexual sin you would be a sinner separated from God from birth because of what Adam did.

God hates all sin. Again, God hates all sin. All sin is separation from God.

Ephesians 2:1-10 says, "As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesha and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."


But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:4-9).

This shows that it is because of God's love that he died for you.

Jesus said, ""If anyone hears My sayings and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world. 48"He who rejects Me and does not receive My sayings, has one who judges him; the word I spoke is what will judge him at the last day.… (John 12:47). The judgment is not now, but the last day. And who will be judged according to their sins.

The unsaved, not the saved. Again, it is the unsaved who are judged. How do we know this?

The bible says, "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.… (Romans 8:1-2).

So who are in Christ Jesus? The saved are in Christ Jesus. The saved will not be condemned because it is Jesus who is covering their sins with his righteous blood. The saved are seen as being in righteous Jesus, not as standing in their own selves.

"On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you" (John 14:20).

"In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness" (Hebrews 9:22). Jesus fulfilled the whole law for us, so we are not bound by the law anymore.

"Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill. 18"For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished" (Matthew 5:17-18).

"So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. 5For when we were in the realm of the flesh,a the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us, so that we bore fruit for death. 6But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code" (Romans 7:4-6).

When someone gets saved they die to the law because they are crucified to the cross in Christ, being made dead and then they are raised spiritually as a new creation in Christ.

What that means is that even though you have a body of flesh still, when you by faith believe and ask Jesus to be the payment for your sins, you become a new spiritual creation in Christ. This new creation through Christ, through the Holy Spirit he gives you at salvation is more powerful than your earthly flesh, because it has God's power living inside. A saved person has the ability to live in God's Spirit where their new created self is, or to live by their own human power, which is too weak to be sinless.

So first, you need to by faith ask Jesus to be your payment for your sins and you need to trust that he died for you because he loves you, not because of anything you have done.

Do not waver in your faith. Jesus paid for people's sins because he loved people.

"For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. 8But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.…"(Romans 5:7-8). Jesus died for sinners.

Now if you can believe this and confess this you are saved.

"If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved (Romans 10:9).

Since you are in your body of flesh, sinful desires may still creep up. What are you to do?

Once saved, ask God to have the Holy Spirit speak to you, grip you, change you, fill you, be so real in you that the strength of God's Spirit takes hold of your emotions and thoughts. Ask God for life changing revelation about what you are doing. Ask God to help you see your desires from his perspective. Believe God will do these things.

When a desire comes up, stop it right as it begins so it doesn't grow. Confess things like:

I am free in Christ.
I am a new creation in Christ.
All my desires and needs come from God.
Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. (From 1 John 4:4).
God is more powerful than all my desires and my whole hope and trust is in him.
I am free of all sin through Jesus.
I only have Godly desires.
Etc. Etc. Write your own.

So if lust stirs in you, immediately start repeating I am free of all sin through Jesus over and over drowning out the lies that Satan is telling you. Ignore the lies, drown them out.

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7).

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).

Resist the lies being told to you and speak the truth of God. Don't believe the lies. Don't believe you might sin. Insist that you won't sin.

Insist on being stubborn in saying what God says about you. Insist that God has set you free, that you are free of lustful desires.
Immediately insist on speaking God's truth as soon as the desire comes. Don't wait. God will work through your Godly affirmations. Trust him for this.

If you are saved, don't believe Satan's lies that tell you you aren't. Satan is lying. God forgives you. Believe by faith.
 
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I have doubted my Salvation a lot, not because I doubt what Jesus did for us on the cross at all, and of course I believe everything God says, but because the Bible says "even the demons believe, yet tremble." And other lines that say sinning will lead to Hell. I'm afraid that I may give in to temptation one day and break my promise which would lead me into a situation that can't be forgiven. Would God still forgive me if I break my promise? The guilt is...well there are no words for how it feels

It's like a tug of war. I desire God and not to sin but the desire of sin still lingers incredibly

I really don't know how to be born-again, as even with praying to Jesus for help I still have this nasty desire that I can't get out of my mind. Does having this desire mean I'm not saved?

Salvation is a "hope" while we are on earth ..
no one on earth has a guarantee they are saved ..
God's OFFER (by grace) of salvation IF you obey is "guaranteed" ..
but if we do not "endure in belief & obedience to the end" is we exempt ourselves ..

Mat 10:22 “You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved.

Mat 24:13 “But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.

Mat 7:21 "Not everyone who says to Me, ’Lord, Lord, ’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.

Hbr 5:9 And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation,

so the first thing you must understand is you are still living by the flesh ..
you need to change that and be "born again" as a "new creature" that "lives in the spirit of holiness" ..

this means you need to not just believe, but become obedient ..
ok .. so the devil is temping you ..
this is like Job .. what is stronger ..
your love for God so you obey Him ..
or ..
your love of the worldly so you disobey Him ???

simply put .. when you DO actually love God with your ALL ..
you will have NO PROBLEM resisting satan ..
hence you WILL BE "born-again" as a "new creature" ..

here are some scriptures for you ..

Hbr 5:9 And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation,

Hbr 12:8 But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

1Jo 3:10 By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother.

did you understand that ???

Mat 7:21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.

that is simple enough .. not every one who believes will enter heaven but those who "believe and obey" ..

Mat 7:22 “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?

interesting .. they are calling Jesus "Lord, Lord" .. and they say they not only were believers but they "prophesied, cast out demons and did miracles" IN HIS NAME ..
God Bless you ..

Jhn 3:3 Jesus answered and said to him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."

Luk 9:62 But Jesus said to him, "No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."

God Bless you ..
 
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