Hello all!

Why is it that whenever someone tells me to introduce myself, I feel tempted to start giving my entire life story? I'm going to try my best not to do that and just say hello and let y'all know what brought me here.

I got saved back in 2011. I feel ashamed to tell people that though, because only a few short months after, I went back to living a life filled with sin and destructive habits of all sorts. I was actually worse than I had started. I wish I could say I don't know how I fell away or that it was an accident. But the truth is, I knew what I was doing. I told myself, I'd finish having my fun and come back later.

Trouble is, after I'd been living for myself for awhile, I wasn't sure that God would take me back. I tried going back to church and I just...I definitely do believe I damaged my heart with my mistake. I was convinced I'd just fallen too far away to go back and that God didn't want anything to do with me. That I was made for destruction. It was pretty bad. I gave up again.

Something was different this time. While I can remember the exact decision that led me to follow my own path, I don’t really know why I’ve come back this time. It just hit me out of nowhere, one day that perhaps God’s Spirit won’t always strive with me. I just felt an urgency that I don’t really know how to explain. I had ‘pangs’ here and there (not sure what else to call them, just…the conviction that I should turn back to God, or say a prayer) but I shoved them down up til this day, when the thought occurred to me that I might stop having them. And that shocked and scared me and I cried, and I prayed, and eventually….after many nights spent crying my eyes out, and hurting….I finally started to believe that God does love me. That he never stopped. And that he knew how I was gonna stumble and fall the day he saved me. And FINALLY I learned that my lack of righteousness doesn’t matter so much. My righteousness, even if I possessed any, would get me nowhere. I don’t have to depend on how good I can be, but how good He already is. I’m not too great a task for the Savior.


So, now I’m here, because I think a part of why I fell away the first time was the lack of a support group. I tried to do everything alone. I went to church but I didn’t really talk to people (I have a hard time opening up to strangers, except apparently on the internet :p) and I was trying and failing to figure it all out myself. I’m going to church now, and shopping around for a Bible believing church that I feel comfortable and safe at and I’ve signed up here in the hopes that I can find some kind of support.


Apologies for the length. I did try to keep it short. My name is Cass (or Cj) and I look forward to getting to know as many new brothers and sisters as possible.

Thanks for reading my ramble!
 
Hi Cass, welcome to the forum.
I enjoyed reading your post and I agree with @Buzzy204 that this your testimony will support someone else to realise that the Lord's Love, Grace and Mercy never fails those who are His and He knew you would get to this point and return. I pray IJN that you do find the right soil (Church) to settle in a grow and thrive for the Lord.

I think many churches must really pay attention to this reoccurring theme... Once a new believer has given their life to Christ it's so very important to have the right saints supporting them as these are crucial early stages. Similar thing happened when I got re-baptised in my then church but I do believe they have sorted this out now.

Welcome back into the family of Christ :)
 
Thank you all for the warm welcomes!

Hi Cass, welcome to the forum.
I enjoyed reading your post and I agree with @Buzzy204 that this your testimony will support someone else to realise that the Lord's Love, Grace and Mercy never fails those who are His and He knew you would get to this point and return. I pray IJN that you do find the right soil (Church) to settle in a grow and thrive for the Lord.

I think many churches must really pay attention to this reoccurring theme... Once a new believer has given their life to Christ it's so very important to have the right saints supporting them as these are crucial early stages. Similar thing happened when I got re-baptised in my then church but I do believe they have sorted this out now.

Welcome back into the family of Christ :)

I hope that you and @Buzzy204 are right. It's an awful feeling, thinking there's no way back.

I've been a few wonderful churches over the past couple months, and heard some great, helpful sermons. It's just some of them are SO big that it's hard not to feel lost in the crowd. I've tried a few small ones as well, but there it almost feels like I'm intruding on a group that's already pretty tight knit and isn't looking to expand. These are probably my issues. For now, I'm thinking of settling at one of the larger churches and joining a few small groups, while I continue in prayer that God leads me where it'd be best for my spiritual growth.
 
Thank you all for the warm welcomes!



I hope that you and @Buzzy204 are right. It's an awful feeling, thinking there's no way back.

I've been a few wonderful churches over the past couple months, and heard some great, helpful sermons. It's just some of them are SO big that it's hard not to feel lost in the crowd. I've tried a few small ones as well, but there it almost feels like I'm intruding on a group that's already pretty tight knit and isn't looking to expand. These are probably my issues. For now, I'm thinking of settling at one of the larger churches and joining a few small groups, while I continue in prayer that God leads me where it'd be best for my spiritual growth.

Cass when you know which one you feel at home in try to attend their Bible study and prayer meetings during the week this will help you on so many levels. Also pray and ask Almighty God to lead you in your search.

God Bless
 
Wow, what is it with you feeling the need to share your life story? :p (HUGS YOU)

A wonderful introductory post. Your new life is in Christ our Lord. Praise him that you've shared because you are found. :) Welcome , welcome, to what is truly a Christians community. God rain his blessings upon you.
 
Thank you all for the warm welcomes!



I hope that you and @Buzzy204 are right. It's an awful feeling, thinking there's no way back.

I've been a few wonderful churches over the past couple months, and heard some great, helpful sermons. It's just some of them are SO big that it's hard not to feel lost in the crowd. I've tried a few small ones as well, but there it almost feels like I'm intruding on a group that's already pretty tight knit and isn't looking to expand. These are probably my issues. For now, I'm thinking of settling at one of the larger churches and joining a few small groups, while I continue in prayer that God leads me where it'd be best for my spiritual growth.

Welcome cass! I am here to tell you by first hand experience (I was an active Christ follower for over 20 years before I walked away to lead a destructive lifestyle) I have since come back to God and He has been faithful to love me and teach me the right ways so that I will be more victorious this time around.

The devil is full of condemnation towards those who make mistakes...no matter how small they be. And it has happen to me too. But we have to remember 1 Jn 1:9, which says that when we confess our sins He (God) is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleans us from all unrighteousness. We have confessed our sins therefore we are now cleansed (right now, at the moment we repented) by the Blood of Jesus from our unrighteousness and restored to right standing with the Father. The Bible says that God chooses to not remember our sins anymore and to throw them as far as the east is from the west...so that He can treat us with Grace (God treating us as if sin never happened), as sons and daughters.

Philippians 2:13 says that God is working in us giving us the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. Your coming back to the fold, pleases Him and He has set out to teach you how to be victorious in this daily walk with Christ. So be of good cheer! Go's is for you and not against you. Use 1 Jn. 1:9 and Romans 8:1 to squash those thoughts of being unacceptable to God, for those are just the lies of the devil to bring you down, hoping you will give up and return to the folly of your past. Contact me anytime via pm...

Blessings of grace and peace be yours in abundance. And rejoice and shout glory because your name is written in the Lambs book of life!
 
Why is it that whenever someone tells me to introduce myself, I feel tempted to start giving my entire life story? I'm going to try my best not to do that and just say hello and let y'all know what brought me here.

I got saved back in 2011. I feel ashamed to tell people that though, because only a few short months after, I went back to living a life filled with sin and destructive habits of all sorts. I was actually worse than I had started. I wish I could say I don't know how I fell away or that it was an accident. But the truth is, I knew what I was doing. I told myself, I'd finish having my fun and come back later.

Trouble is, after I'd been living for myself for awhile, I wasn't sure that God would take me back. I tried going back to church and I just...I definitely do believe I damaged my heart with my mistake. I was convinced I'd just fallen too far away to go back and that God didn't want anything to do with me. That I was made for destruction. It was pretty bad. I gave up again.

Something was different this time. While I can remember the exact decision that led me to follow my own path, I don’t really know why I’ve come back this time. It just hit me out of nowhere, one day that perhaps God’s Spirit won’t always strive with me. I just felt an urgency that I don’t really know how to explain. I had ‘pangs’ here and there (not sure what else to call them, just…the conviction that I should turn back to God, or say a prayer) but I shoved them down up til this day, when the thought occurred to me that I might stop having them. And that shocked and scared me and I cried, and I prayed, and eventually….after many nights spent crying my eyes out, and hurting….I finally started to believe that God does love me. That he never stopped. And that he knew how I was gonna stumble and fall the day he saved me. And FINALLY I learned that my lack of righteousness doesn’t matter so much. My righteousness, even if I possessed any, would get me nowhere. I don’t have to depend on how good I can be, but how good He already is. I’m not too great a task for the Savior.


So, now I’m here, because I think a part of why I fell away the first time was the lack of a support group. I tried to do everything alone. I went to church but I didn’t really talk to people (I have a hard time opening up to strangers, except apparently on the internet :p) and I was trying and failing to figure it all out myself. I’m going to church now, and shopping around for a Bible believing church that I feel comfortable and safe at and I’ve signed up here in the hopes that I can find some kind of support.


Apologies for the length. I did try to keep it short. My name is Cass (or Cj) and I look forward to getting to know as many new brothers and sisters as possible.

Thanks for reading my ramble!
Welcome Cj,
Make your self at home here and get to know others. This has always been a safe and friendly family here and all of the staff is more then able to help you out if need be.

Looking forward to the fellowship
Blessings
FCJ
 
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