Later that night, I was brought to what I was told to be the Surrey Memorial hospital. I said that because I wasn't sure. It was dark and I had not been to Surrey Memorial hospital before, certainly not as a mental patient. Anyway, so they first had me sitting in the hallway, with the two fake officers nearby watching me. I asked to either talk to my mom or a lawyer, but they refused both. I sat there for a while, generally feeling scared and helpless. Then, a "hospital staff" came. He told me that they would take me to a "waiting room", implying that there would be torture involved. So I started to panic. I told the fake officer who apprehended me that I would cooperate now. He told me it was too late. So I just sat there, not visibly shaking but on the inside I was absolutely terrified. And then some other "police officers" came, they handed me over to them. The second set of fake officers then took me to a small room. Then some lady came, offering me a cup of water, I thought it was kind of strange but at the time I did not know they were trying to drug me with the truth serum again. I turned her down. Then, I started to hear sounds of someone presumably being tortured. The sounds would get louder and louder and it went on for some time. This was presumably to frighten me into submission. I did not know what to do, but I did not do or say anything. And then, a lady came. I don't know her name nor do I remember her face anymore, I am naturally not good with faces, plus I had seen so many faces that night. She and I had a conversation, the details again I no longer recall due the extremely high stress I was under, but I remember it was something extremely unreasonable and coercive. It was probably something about how they would certify me, without allowing me to speak to a lawyer first. And then someone else came, I don't even remember who or what we talked about. And finally, a whole team of security guards came. They took me to a dark place. There must have been 6, 7 of them, forming a wall against me. They gave me two options, either to take some oral medication or an injection. They claimed that both were just antipsychotics, but I knew I was dealing with the feds again, and who knew what was really in them? So I refused. Then they threatened me some more. Finally I cried, saying that I was really scared, begging them not to force me anymore. They were not moved at all, and instead physically grabbed me and forced me onto a stretcher, where they injected me with a needle. I honestly thought they were killing me, that I was going to die, so I begged to talk to my mother. The stuff that ensued was a blur, I only remember that I ended up in a small dark room, I believe that they called it the seclusion room or some such, basically it's a containment unit for patients with unruly behaviours. Anyway, it was dark, and had basically no amenities. Only a lavatory and a mat on the ground, plus some food and water. There was probably the truth serum in the water again but by the grace of god, I for some reason did not drink it. So I just had some food. Then they took me out of the seclusion room, to a different area of the hospital. Now, the process actually took quite long, for a place that was in the same hospital as the other place. If I were to guess, hospitals nowadays all have this byzantine, maze-like structure where they keep hidden rooms for nefarious purposes like that.
Once there, again, my memories are now hazy, but I remember they temporarily put me in a bed in a hall way. This time I drank something liquid. Then, I gradually realized that truth serum truly was real (I had looked up something similar but thought it was semi-fiction) and I was again slipped the drug because I was feeling the same strange symptoms a few days ago, when I was first given the drug and had my true thoughts tricked out of me. I can go into details about the exact symptoms of truth serum and how long it takes to work, if others are interested. I mentioned these on the d2jsp.org forum I mentioned earlier, although I am not sure if that forum is still good. Now, here, they finally allowed me to talk to my mother, who again talked in a really strange manner. I knew she could not be trusted, so I dialed my brother's number. Now, my brother is a much more honest person than my mother, plus he really cares about me. I am pretty sure it would be impossible to bribe him to go against like that. When I talked to him, his voice was audibly shaking, like he wasn't sure. He never used to talk like that before, so again I became suspicious. Finally I asked him, is someone with you there right now? He stammered. At which point, we mysteriously disconnected. This is when I realized that my brother was probably compromised too and that the feds were in contact with him as well. I just don't know if they also gave him money or they merely persuaded him to cooperate with them because they told him his sister was a mental patient who got tangled up with domestic terrorists and they needed his help or some such garbage. Anyway, I don't believe my brother would ever sell me out for money, but he would cooperate with a law enforcement agency like the CSIS, because regular people naturally have trust and confidence in such an organization, a fact that the feds exploit ruthlessly. Then, I thought of this person called Peter Hunt. He was someone I knew through the most likely corrupt Craigslist, when I tried to enlist computer help a few days prior. He said really sketchy things right around William's disappearance, and just weird things in general, which made me suspect that he too was a fed. And this was confirmed, when I sent him a text asking him/them to keep me out of the hospital, to keep me healthy, so I can go find William's heavily armed friends who are now out for revenge because I led them to believe William was tortured, sodomized and then murdered. I told this possible fed that I would now be the leader of the little (white) boys (an affectionate term I have for William's friends, none of whom I know), in William's absence. Of course, the feds would not pass up such an awesome opportunity, but they had to do it in a way that left no evidence, besides, I suspect that William's friends could possibly see my cell phone conversations as well, because they were a tech-savvy bunch and either William or one of them must have hacked into my cell phone as well. So, we had a conversation, but it was off my cell phone. Not via text, so there was no evidence plus it was through the hospital patient phone, so Wiliam's friends could not eavesdrop on if they wanted to. And also, this is also where my suspicion got confirmed that the "hospital staff" were all fed plants yet again just like they were back in Burnaby hospital, because the staff who helped me with my phone did it in a way that I could not access my cell phone, that I had to move my conversation with Peter Hunt to the hospital phone. This staff I unfortunately no longer recall either his name or face, but I remember what happened. I also have Peter Hunt's phone number, I even posted it on Gab.com before it fell. Anyway, so Peter Hunt told me he would meet me in two days, but I couldn't wait. I knew by then two days was plenty for them to slip me more truth serum, and I badly wanted to avoid that. He also skilfully guided the conversation in a way that failed to confirm his identity as a fed, not that it would matter anyway, the hospital phone was in the feds' control, they were not about to put a recording device on their own phone. Now that I knew Peter Hunt could not help me out of the hospital, but I detected that the feds badly wanted me to influence William's friends, so I thought of Panzerfaust0, whose email account I still have. So I told the staff member I would like to have my laptop back I could contact him and to have him set up a website for me. I don't remember what happened in the next little while, but I remember he somehow managed to convince me to start journaling, aka to write stuff. Now, I did a lot of this back when I was detained at Burnaby hospital, I would just write and write and write, both to pass the time and to prepare emails to send to Panzerfaust0 to beg him to come see me. So the feds knew I loved writing. I also did a lot of it online, everyone who has ever watched me online knew I loved to write. So, naturally, I thought, hey, why not. So they gave me pen (or was it pencil?) and paper. Now, pay close attention to this. Writing is absolutely harmless and acceptable on even a psych ward, evidenced by the fact they had no trouble handing me pen and paper. This is important because at the subsequent place I went to, suddenly there was a problem with writing, a totally innocent activity. I will tell you why later.
So I started writing stuff in preparation for when I got my laptop back and could contact Panzerfaust0 again. I had always known that they had security cameras on hospital psych wards, and now was when I realized that these cameras must have extremely fine resolution, because I could tell they could clearly see what I was writing, and my script wasn't huge. Anyway, I could tell that when I wrote stuff that they approved of, they would have staff come almost immediately to give me tiny encouragements, the encouragements in proportion to how cooperative and beneficial to them my writing was. This was most evident when I voluntarily offered to let the doctor who was treating me at the time, Dr. ___ (whose face I still remember, though the name is probably fake) see my journals, they must have been exceedingly happy about that since it meant they now wouldn't have to pretend they weren't watching what I wrote. So I wrote and wrote, saying things like hey how are you, it's been 15 years, and stuff like that. I don't have a record of it because I tore it all up (more about this later) but if we could somehow get a hold of the security footage, they would be able to see what I wrote. But this is assuming there isn't yet another very convenient "fire" or maybe "flood" or maybe even theft/destruction by a disgruntled employee...etc, basically the things feds do to destroy evidence in a way that won't arouse suspicion. Anyway, so, eventually, I got stuck. I did not know what the feds really wanted, nobody could correctly intuit what others truly wanted perpetually, eventually it comes a time when one has to explicitly tell another person what his wishes are, but of course feds could not do that, they needed to maintain the pretense that they weren't feds. So I just sat in my bed, a bit confused and searching for answers. Meanwhile, they kept playing sounds of people being tortured in the background, presumably to give me the "incentive" to keep writing stuff that they wanted. Then they started to send people to give me little hints. I remember there was a guy who was likely Taiwanese, because he was making a phone call in plain view of me, saying things very audibly about how he wanted to be able to go back to Taiwan. So my understanding was that feds wanted me to tell Panzerfaust0 to move to Taiwan with me to set up the website (I strongly suspect Panzerfaust0 could speak Mandarin, even though he was Caucasian. Many feds are multi-talented like that). At first I could not figure out the feds' motive, why would they want that? Then it dawned on me: They wanted me to move back to Taiwan so that by the time the website is finished and I am no longer useful, they will have Panzerfaust0 or another fed murder me, and then abandon my body there somewhere. If they murdered me here in Canada, it would be troublesome because then my death would be investigated by the Canadian police force. But in Taiwan, the police force isn't quite as elite, plus, any news or information relating to my murder would be indecipherable to William's friends, whom I assume were all Caucasian and did not understand Chinese. Anyway, I became really scared. Then I wrote a bit more and just gave up. Then I started to become extremely worried, and this must have reflected in my demeanor because they kept sending plants to subtly teach me how to get myself out of the hospital. They were probably worried that I might lose my marbles. Then, I believe they gave up and was about to really release me, I suddenly "looked alive" again, because I thought of what I could do with Panzerfaust0, but they must have misinterpreted it, and thought I was just putting up an act earlier. They even had a East Indian female plant say that I "made a mistake". I still remember what she looked like. Anyway, things got worse, I suspect they got truth serum in my again, which I both feared and hated. So I explained in yet more writings what I did what I did, hoping they would forgive. But they didn't, evidenced by the fact that I did not receive any more of the little encouragements. Finally, they told me flat-out to stop writing and to go to bed, to just wait for Dr. Downie in the morning. But I knew by then it would be too late, the serum would have worked by then, they would have been able to find out more about my true thoughts. A few more things happened, one of which was the staff trying to grab the pages of my writings that contained the parts that they really wanted, I believe it was the part about how I confessed that I wasn't sure that William was truly tortured and sodomized before being murdered, and other important tidbits that they would really like. This is when I realized that feds were not to be trusted, because I plainly told them I was sincere in wanting to speak to the doctor and that I wanted to cooperate and reconcile. So, I tore up my pages, knowing that if they could not obtain written confessions from me, then they could not tell William's friends that he wasn't in fact tortured and sodomized, then perhaps they would be less angry. And of course, this would also mean I would no longer serve a useful purpose, and I knew they would summarily murder me afterwards. So I destroyed the papers knowing that this would literally save my life. As long as they did not yet have me publicly admitting I was wrong about William's painful murder, they needed me to be alive, and so they would not murder me. Then a few more things happened, in which I confronted a particularly nasty female "staff", whose name escapes me now but I will always remember her b*tchy face (pardon my language but I just hated her guts even though I have known her for not even a few days). The incidents resulted in me being hurled into a containment unit yet again, this time, they injected me with something that would knock me out. She also took off my glasses, presumably so that I could not recognize my rapists even if I wasn't properly knocked out. This room I believe was where I was either raped, or more likely gang-raped, and lost my virginity (I was a virgin at the age of 46. Up till this point, I had never had sex with a man). I remember pretty much nothing, except that in the dimness of the little room, a bunch of people, whom I assume to be men, came in. They asked what I wanted, and in a groggy state and with a half-incoherent voice, I said, "The media", which must have really angered them. This was most likely when they realized they needed to murder me. Remember, I had been slipped the truth serum yet again, and even though I don't know how long I had been in the dark room (I was knocked out), it must have been long enough for the drug to work. So they thought I must have been telling the truth, which I was. Thinking back, if I had said something like I wanted my mother, maybe they would not have raped/gang-raped me. I will explain later on why I believe I was raped/gang-raped even though I was drugged up and was generally insensible to my surroundings. I keep thinking about why they raped/gang-raped me. I believe the reasons were three-fold: 1. I wrote a bunch of posts online immediately following what I thought was William's death. In it, I said that I tried to tease him (I did. I won't get into details about it because I am too embarrassed by it) and how he knew I tried to tease him and how this fact could never be erased, even though he was now dead. Because we all know that past events in time are in-alterable. So, these feds must have thought that by gang-raping me, this too would be something that could never be erased; 2. they knew that William wanted to be my first badly (William knew I was very likely a virgin because he had followed me for decades and watched both my online as well as cell phone activities and he knew I had never had a boyfriend, ever), so of course they could not let him have that, because they hated him passionately, for being the admin at Gab.com, where I was able to post stuff that they really, really, really disliked. For details, ask me for a copy of all my posts on gab.com and 3. they probably figured they were going to murder me soon anyway, so they might as well gang-rape me, just to see what I was like. Anyway, I think these three reasons are quite probable.
