Coffee With the Church

I have one. Years ago we were members of a church near San Francisco Bay and during the sermon my mouth was getting dry because the Pastor was preaching very intensely. So I got up to get a cup of coffee by the refreshment table and he stopped his sermon and asked me to come back and sit down! Seriously?

So I came back and sat down. Then the Pastor lost his place in the sermon (because of me) so as he was trying to remember I got back up and hurried to get a cup of coffee! lol! So when he found his place he looked up at me and saw that I had my cup of coffee but there was nothing he could do.

l😎l!
 
Don't know if I can explain, but here goes. We used to attend nondenominational church. Once we got a new pastor who was a graduate of Liberty University (Baptist background). Anyone who has attended an old time Baptist Church knows the congregation participates. You can usually hear "Amen" a lot when they agree with a point in the lesson and often hear other short comments. So, out here they congregation sits in polite silence during the sermon/teaching. I noticed that it was starting to put the pastor off his game. He didn't get why everyone was so quiet. Finally, he said "Can I hear an Amen?" Just to see if they were still breathing, I think. Hubby and I were the only ones who thought this was funny. We also began the Amen corner. Eventually folks caught on
 
The last time was at church was exactly a year ago this week, and it was a baptism Sunday. The last person to be baptized was a man who invited about 20 of his relatives, all nonbelievers except for his sister. And while he was sharing about what God had done in his life, all the lights in the front half of the church went out. Then from up by the ceiling the invisible sound guy said in a deep booming bass voice through his mic "I'll take care of that." The man's family heard that voice and were afraid and looked all around and up at the ceiling. Some stood up and some covered their heads with their hands. And then our pastor realized why they were afraid, and he said "Oh! Yeah... No, that's not God. That's our sound guy." I guess it was funny in some ways and sad in other ways.
 
My wife, daughter and I visited a Lutheran Church a few years back.
Immediately we sensed a political atmosphere and it was confirmed by starting the service with a political type speech. The EXIT sign above the nearest door grew larger. I motioned my wife to leave and she agreed. The three of us made a beeline to the door that had the EXIT sign, opened the door only to see a fenced field with no way out.
We embarrassingly had to resort to walking the long aisle back to the foyer/narthex in front of wondering eyes. It was like walking the plank.
 
Last edited:
The only other thing I can think of is that our church does three services on Sundays (2 on Saturday). In between services, our pastor goes into what we call the "green room," which is where he relaxes, reads, and occasionally adjusts his message for the next service.

He likes to unbutton the last two buttons of his short, as he believes this prevents his shirt from getting wrinkled. On way too many occasions, when he goes back on stage, he forgets to button the second button from the bottom and we get to watch his belly for a while. To stop this from happening, we now check to make sure he is fully dressed before he goes back on stage.
 
I grew up in a non-denominational assembly church which was ultra-conservative. There was this one old man that liked to joke around and for awhile his target was a girl there about 3 years old. Each Sunday for a certain series of Sundays he would say, "I think you are a little boy" and she would say, "naw!" Of course everyone would just giggle a little and go on. Well, after these few Sundays of this she finally had enough and when he said, "I think you are actually a little boy" she said emphatically, "no, I am a girl; see!?" and dropped her pants for all to see. He turned about 20 shades of red and never said anything about her being a boy again.
 
I grew up in a non-denominational assembly church which was ultra-conservative. There was this one old man that liked to joke around and for awhile his target was a girl there about 3 years old. Each Sunday for a certain series of Sundays he would say, "I think you are a little boy" and she would say, "naw!" Of course everyone would just giggle a little and go on. Well, after these few Sundays of this she finally had enough and when he said, "I think you are actually a little boy" she said emphatically, "no, I am a girl; see!?" and dropped her pants for all to see. He turned about 20 shades of red and never said anything about her being a boy again.
Yikes!!!
 
I grew up in a non-denominational assembly church which was ultra-conservative. There was this one old man that liked to joke around and for awhile his target was a girl there about 3 years old. Each Sunday for a certain series of Sundays he would say, "I think you are a little boy" and she would say, "naw!" Of course everyone would just giggle a little and go on. Well, after these few Sundays of this she finally had enough and when he said, "I think you are actually a little boy" she said emphatically, "no, I am a girl; see!?" and dropped her pants for all to see. He turned about 20 shades of red and never said anything about her being a boy again.
children and animals really are the funniest. thanks for sharing.

when in need for a pick me up, I head over to YouTube and watch those little cuties at some serious play. I come away more refreshed. Jesus made the animals too and He made them all wonderful, (in spite of them all killing each other) I have seen even polar bears playing with dogs. I know in revelation, the lion will lay down with the lamb, and it looks like we are heading this way already. and I think I may have answered my own question here when it comes to animals having a place in heaven....hopefully crossnote will see this post❤️
 
children and animals really are the funniest. thanks for sharing.

when in need for a pick me up, I head over to YouTube and watch those little cuties at some serious play. I come away more refreshed. Jesus made the animals too and He made them all wonderful, (in spite of them all killing each other) I have seen even polar bears playing with dogs. I know in revelation, the lion will lay down with the lamb, and it looks like we are heading this way already. and I think I may have answered my own question here when it comes to animals having a place in heaven....hopefully crossnote will see this post❤️
I love watching animals on YouTube as well. I love animals. I believe there will be animals in Heaven.
As I often say, I don't think God will give us less just because we go to Heaven.
 
children and animals really are the funniest. thanks for sharing.

when in need for a pick me up, I head over to YouTube and watch those little cuties at some serious play. I come away more refreshed. Jesus made the animals too and He made them all wonderful, (in spite of them all killing each other) I have seen even polar bears playing with dogs. I know in revelation, the lion will lay down with the lamb, and it looks like we are heading this way already. and I think I may have answered my own question here when it comes to animals having a place in heaven....hopefully crossnote will see this post❤️
Dolarossa, yes I read it, my wife often tries to get me to watch those animal funnies on YT as well. lol
Lion and lamb'? Actually that's a common misperception, the Scriptues say 'wolf and the lamb' referring to the earthly reign of Christ...

Isaiah 11:6 ESV
[6] The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them.

Isaiah 65:25 ESV
[25] The wolf and the lamb shall graze together; the lion shall eat straw like the ox, and dust shall be the serpent's food. They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain," says the LORD.
 
Dolarossa, yes I read it, my wife often tries to get me to watch those animal funnies on YT as well. lol
Lion and lamb'? Actually that's a common misperception, the Scriptues say 'wolf and the lamb' referring to the earthly reign of Christ...

Isaiah 11:6 ESV
[6] The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them.

Isaiah 65:25 ESV
[25] The wolf and the lamb shall graze together; the lion shall eat straw like the ox, and dust shall be the serpent's food. They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain," says the LORD.
We have a blessed assurance that peace and harmony will exist there, with
one another and all of the creatures. It will be glorious and splendiferous. ;)
 
One morning there was a guy high on who knows what, and he was right up front and center dancing and yelling while the music was playing at the beginning of the service. I must have been like 15 at the time, and I thought it was the funniest thing I had seen. Our pastor didn't really know what to do, because he was (I imagine anyways) torn between saving this poor guy, and wanting to keep the peace during his service. He was treating the music like a Rolling Stones concert or something, and then afterwards when the service was shifting over to prayer and then into the sermon, another guy walked in while everyone was silent, grabbed the guy by the arm, and drug him out of the church with this horrified look on his face.
 
In our Baptist church years back, our pastors would wear the white robes and do communion all ceremoniously, unlike today where its much more casual. (did anyone elses Baptist churches go more casual since the 90's?). Anyways, this one morning one of them knocked over the entire pitcher of communion juice onto the carpet next to the the pulpit.

He just left it there, no one came to wipe it up or anything, we all just spent the longest 2 minutes ever just staring at the spilled juice not knowing what to do. Eventually someone came out with more juice and he finished the ceremony, but the stain was there until i stopped going to that church.

He said he wanted to keep the stain there because it was "spilled for a reason". God was trying to tell us something. I never could figure out what that something was, I think he was just embarrassed because he accidentally knocked it over.
 
In our Baptist church years back, our pastors would wear the white robes and do communion all ceremoniously, unlike today where its much more casual. (did anyone elses Baptist churches go more casual since the 90's?). Anyways, this one morning one of them knocked over the entire pitcher of communion juice onto the carpet next to the the pulpit.

He just left it there, no one came to wipe it up or anything, we all just spent the longest 2 minutes ever just staring at the spilled juice not knowing what to do. Eventually someone came out with more juice and he finished the ceremony, but the stain was there until i stopped going to that church.

He said he wanted to keep the stain there because it was "spilled for a reason". God was trying to tell us something. I never could figure out what that something was, I think he was just embarrassed because he accidentally knocked it over.
If that had been a staunch Lutheran Church, they would have been abhorred as they take the words literally, "This is my blood".
 
Back
Top